Things that are sexy about Queens

I want to be up front about this entry and say that it's not timely. AT ALL. I had this idea about a month ago and after work, and fun nights and busy weekends...I just haven't had a chance. Oh and it was also the Jewish holidays. So there's another excuse for you...anyway...

Oh and I've also been doing a lot of tweeting. So that takes time away from my blog. And let's not forget shopping!

Anyway, about a month ago I came across this graph in 'Time Out New York'. It rated NYC's five boroughs according to overall sexiness. The boroughs were ranked thus: Manhattan, Brooklyn, Queens, The Bronx/Staten Island. Well, if you're reading that and you know anything about New York City that ranking doesn't seem so surprising. Sure, Manhattan is sex-on-a-strick and Brooklyn has been 'up and coming' for like 75 years. Queens is on the cusp...and Staten Island is not sexy at all.

But what DID surprise me about this graph was the 'sexy percentage points' it assigned to each borough. According to this pie chart, Manhattan contains 65% of NYC's overall sexiness, while Brooklyn grabs 34% and Queens comes in with a measley 1%. And let's not forget The Bronx/Staten Island which are tied w/ o% sexy points!!

WTF!!

Again, I totally agree about the Staten Island part. NOTHING is sexy about Staten Island. In fact, In Monty Burn's fictitious mayoral campaign he suggested that we sell Staten Island to cover some of the city's defecit (http://burnsformayor.com/economy.html)

But what about the BOOGIE-DOWN-BRONX?? J. Lo is from there and she is totez sexi!

And what about Queens!! We're f-ing sexy mofos!! I am outraged!

Things that are sexy about Queens
1) The name. Queens. Royalty. Royalty = sexy. It's as simple as that!

2) Sweat pants and high heels. I have seen this fashion trend on multiple occasions in Queens. Sure, at first it assaults your sensibilities and makes you want to hurl yourself off of a building. But after a while it makes sense. Heels are sexy and sweat pants are comfortable. Sex + Comfort = basically ideal. Who cares if it looks horrible...um

3) Clothes that are too tight. There are lots of clothes that are too tight in Queens. I mean, besides being naked, too-tight-clothes are the best way to really show off your figure, don't you think? There's no hiding any bulges or any freckles when you're a size 10 and you're wearing a small shirt and size 4 pants. Mystery = lame. Putting it all out there = SEXY.

4) Diversity. Oh yes. Give me some of that. *shiver* Diversity is the sexiest!

5) Trash. Whether it's trash-talking in bed, or food that ends up on your sheets in'the heat of the moment', trash is pretty sexy. Queens is full of trash, so Queens must be full of sexy!

6) Food. A good meal can be a big turn on for some people. Well, there's plenty of good food in Queens!! Greek food in Astoria, Indian food in Jackson Heights, Middle Eastern food in Long Island City (don't know if this is actually true but I saw it on Top Chef so...Tom Colicchio wouldn't lie, would he?)....mmmm....sexy food...sexy Queens

7) Christopher Walkin. OK he's really not sexy...but he is from Queens. WHAT UP!


8) Leah Remeni. I don't know if a lot of people think she's hot, but my roommate does and he's a guy....so...yeah. She's not from Queens, I don't think, but she is on the show 'The King of Queens' which takes place...DING DING DING!! QUEENS!!


Take that Manhattan (and Brooklyn)! If only you had a show that took place in your borough. OH wait. If only you had a show that was SEXY/all about sex. OH wait. If only...ugh. YOU SUCK! YAY QUEENS!