Assumptions I make about people

Hey Everyone!

Is it hot enough out there for you? WOOF. I say we all stop hanging out, sweat at home in private, and meet up again in September when it's not so gross out and we all look decent again and cane take pictures without shuddering at poofy hair and shiny skin.

So, summer is in mid-swing which means I've been out of town / had guests nearly every weekend since June 1, have been drinking outside (not out of a paper bag...thankyouverymuch), am progressively wearing less and less clothing to work, have a bit of a tan, and probably smell like a wet blanket all of the time if not at LEAST some of the time.

Because it's summer, people from work are dropping like flies (read: are leaving their jobs to go back to grad school in the fall). One of these people, is my friend Hillary. Hillary is leaving work to go to Law School and like...make a billion dollars and have 10 houses in the tri-state area.

As we sat at lunch one day last week, we talked about assumptions people make about others based on their careers of choice. For example, if I told you I was an administrative assistant you might think that I am good at making copies AND that I'm young AND that I'm lazy because wo wants to be an admin. asst., right? JK...I'm not lazy? Or, if I told you I was a garbageman you might think that I like to get dirty and am good with my hands (OH HEY!). If I told you I was from Queens you might think I like to wear sweatpants out to dance clubs with full make up on.

Interesting isn't it? As I sat and mused about my assumptions about others, I got to thinking: ASSUMPTIONZ, I MAKE 'DEM.

Assumptions I make about people:

1) If you like 'Harry Potter', I will like you. Considering that MILLIONS UPON MILLIONS (if not billions upon billions yet...could look this fact up but am obvi too lazy) of people read HP, and I don't like millions upon millions of people...this can't really be true. If you're a wizarding fan, in general, it's probably true that I can easily make small talk with you at a party, PBR in hand. But, that we'll be BFF because you know the difference between Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff? EH. I don't think so.

2) If you live in Astoria, I will like you. Yeah...this really doesn't make any sense since most of the people who walk around A-town are guido-esque douche bags but...if you were like 'Oh! You live in Astoria, Becky? I have a friend who lives there' my receptors will definitely start beeping and my first thought and question to you will be 'Oh really? Do you think they want to be my friend?'. Creep

3) If you work in finance, I hate you. Hillary and I talked about this at our lunch. When you meet someone who works in finance don't you assume they're cut someone to get to the top? Or that they're just...obnoxious and not fun to talk to? Or that they will do anything to make a buck? Yeah, me too. We might not be right though...like...take Ames, from 'The Bachelorette' as an example. He's a portfolio manager and seems like a GREAT guy. Also, my roommate, works at a finance place and she is super nice. So...

4) If you did study abroad in Australia, all you did was party down there. That might ACTUALLY be true...

5) If you live in Brooklyn, I don't like you / you are annoying. This might actually be true as well (jk jk jk jk Brooklyn friends...je vous aime?)

6) If you were in chorus in high school, you're just like me. You might not be...you might be? In which case, sucks for both of us. GET IT?! GET IT?!

7) If you're a teacher, you're a good person. Well, my parents were teachers and so were all their friends. And while they were all crazy in their own ways...they (mostly) had good intentions and were what you would call 'good people' - they tried to help other people, they were patient, they woke up every day and did the best they could to make a difference in peoples lives. tear tear tear. Anyway, now, whenever I meet teachers, or people that are involved professionally in education, I assume that they're good people with good intentions. I mean, so far this is true...but...who's to say it always will be? There are prob teachers out there who steal seats from old ladies on the subway, and drop chip bags in Central Park, and hit babies, and jump in puddles just to splash people walking by them (Why are these the only bad things I can think off the top of my head? Good question)...and other non-city related bad things. But...

8) If you read my blog I like you. Actually, that's probably true. KEEP READING!

OK I think I need to break away from this entry for a while since I've been writing it for over a week. More soon?

A revelation

I don't think of myself as HIGHLY predictable...but I do have some things that I do over and over again. Like blog, for example. Or eat cheese. Or watch 'The Bachelor'. Or sleep til 7:15 Monday - Friday.

That being said, there are things I do daily like brush my teeth. And things I do weekly like watch 'The Real Housewives of New York City'. And things I do monthly like pay my student loans (except for the last 5 months where, you know, I paid them TWICE...how does someone not notice that?). And then things I do yearly like...open presents on Christmas (YESSSSSS).

Apart from those regular activities, there are some things that I frequently do infrequently. Huh? One of those things is see what celebrities I look like via the internet.

Now, from time to time, I have people tell me that I look like Drew Barrymore...which...is kind of nice since she's a Cover Girl and famous actress and all...but I don't necessarily think is true. However, whenever this happens it gets me curious...because...do I really look like her? How can I know?!?!

Now, see the above paragraph where I mentioned that every so often I like to do a celebrity face match up and see what the internet has to offer me. Well, 'every so often' happened yesterday, and boy was I surprised with the results.

You might remember that a few years ago I did a celebrity face-matcher, when I had short hair, and was surprised to find that I got put next to Enrique Iglesias. I'm pretty sure that they asked if I was a man or a woman before I uploaded my picture to the site but...anyway. I was pretty amused by the results, but then...the more I looked at the picture of us, side by side, the more I realized that...huh...we did have similarly shaped eyes and a mole to the left of our noses.

Well, yesterday, again (is the definition of insanity doing the same thing multiple times and expecting different results? It is, right? EESH), I uploaded a picture of me to facedouble.com and...

First, I got Tina Fey...which...like...we DO have the same haircut but...we don't really look alike

(I realize this is kind of an absurd photo comparison as I'm shrouded in shadow and Tina is lit up...but...apart from our similar hair...we don't really look alike. Not to mention the fact that, though I LOVE HER, WHICH I DO, she always seems to smile with her mouth closed while I only smile with my mouth open. Just sayin')

And next, the real ringer, I got


WHAT? First of all, I don't look like Dakota Fanning. And second of all, I certainly don't look like A CHILD VERSION of Dakota Fanning. WHAT?! She is 10 in that picture and grinning like a tard. Do I look like that in the picture on the left? Is there something I'm not picking up on? As I said to those around me, don't we assume that celebrities you're going to be matched with are similar in age to you? Like...even if I did look like Dakota Fanning...the fact that she's 10 in that picture would mean I can't be matched with her because I'm 25?

Suffice it to say, I shared many laughs yesterday over this topic because...my life is really full and this is what I have to laugh about?...it just seemed so ridiculous to me.

I talked to Kate on the phone last night, and after discussing the picture (I'm not kidding you when I say that I talked about this all day), and my previous comparison to Enrique Iglesias...she shrieked and said 'OH MY GOSH! You look like Enrique Iglesias and Dakota Fanning's love child'

OH MY GOD. I do, don't I? This explains why I like Latin music so much...I'm half Latina! (too soon?).

In other news, Kate was so tickled by my results on facedouble.com (I swear I'm not working for them on the side) that she did her own upload and


In conclusion, this site has to be a joke right?

Things that make me feel unattractive

HAPPY POST FOURTH OF JULY EVERYONE!

I think of the Fourth of July as the official start of summer now...you know...since I'm not out of 'school' or anything right now and besides a weekend spent celebrating, outside, in warm weather, I have no other indicator that anything is changing in the big world we live in. It could be snowing right now...or September...or the year 2024. I have no idea.

In other news, how was everyone's Fourth? Mine was just LOVELY. I spent it, for the second time in a row, in good 'ol Tunkhannock, PA (a real place, believe it or not...complete with TWO pizza places right across the street from each other. YUP. That really happened) with Rebecca, Carly, Christine, Meghan, Sue...and many, varied, and unusual peeps from the Emmaus/Bethlehem/Allentown, PA area. There was swimming, and dancing, and a Bruce Springsteen power hour. There were jello shots. There was a double layer cookie cake. There were brats and let's not forget the night cheese (which we all ate as if we'd never eaten cheese before...).

Part of the festivities included what I like to call an 'Americana Fashion show' meaning that everyone a) brings jean shorts b) wears them c) if they have bandannas, they wear those too or d) America-themed bling or if you're me e) brings jean short overalls (OH YES)...and then we all parade around Carly's backyard and take pictures and make her other friends who are not participating feel uncomfortable.

But, as I walked around in my joveralls, trying to hide my paunch, and wonder why the straps were so long?, I thought 'um I think I look really bad in these'. Even though everyone complimented me on my new digs I could tell they were really complimenting the IDEA of joveralls as a comedic stand in support in American...but no one could have thought they actually looked good.

Things that me feel unattractive

1) Joveralls. Maybe if I'd gone up a size (though they only had the one pair at Salvation Army...) they would have been a bit looser and my paunch wouldn't have looked so overwhelming. But, GOSH. Unattractive!

2) Button down shirts. I just really don't like button down shirts. I don't think they actually look bad on me per se...I have a broad kind of build so a nice, solid, button down shirt highlights my shoulders but...I feel awful in them. I worry about the wrinkles in the back. And I worry about the buttons bursting open at any moment. Because of these worries, I probably make a weird face from thinking negatively as I'm wearing a button down...which means not only does the shirt probably look bad but so does my face. In conclusion: unattractive!

3) Tank tops. I'm kind of getting over this, but because of the bulk of my arms (apparently I hauled wood in a past life?), I always feel a bit uncomfortable wearing tank tops. I wonder if people think 'Wait a second, are that girl's thighs attached to her shoulders? That is really weird'

4) Hats. I look awkward in hats! I know. You must be so surprised right now because I THINK I give off hat-wearing-vibes...but...just like in the movie 'Beauty and The Beast', nothing is ever as it seems.

5) Cap sleeves.

Dear whoever can wear cap sleeves,

You are the exception to the rule.

-Becky

Dear whatever fashion designers design things with cap sleeves,

Really?

-Becky

6) Pimples. I don't normally get pimples or zits or whatever you want to call them. When I do though...It feels like I'm the target dog except instead of being a bulls eye on my eye, there's a bulls eye on my blemish. WOMPFEST.

In conclusion, I don't know if this entry is funny...but it called to me. TALK TO YOU SOON! K BAI!