Things that are happening now-partie 2

Why hello again! How's your day going?

I just had a political discussion in the mail room with our mail guy (TIRSO!), so I feel a bit pepped up. I also just found the COOLEST pin mixed in with a box of regular work pens. It's GREEN and PLASTIC (well, I guess that's a given) and CLEAR and it has a little bouncy ball kind of thing on the top.

*SIGH*.

So, all that talk about butter got me thinking about butter sculptures.

Take a look at some cool butter sculptures, won't you?:

Here we have a Ben Franklin type touching the liberty bell. Perhaps this Ben Franklin type should go see a chiropractor because he is VERY hunched over. That can't be good...

Is it wrong to make a butter sculpture of a cow? I mean, milk and cream come from cows...

You ain't nothin' but a hound dog (doo doo doo), cryin' all the time (doo doo doo doo doo)...

I don't know how to caption this besides 'awkward' because honestly, it is, isn't it?

I wonder what I was trying to accomplish by doing this. All this has done is made me want to go out and buy butter and eat it plain.

Things that are happening now-partie 1

UGH, man.

I don't want to be here today! I would prefer to be sitting in my comfortable, BIG bed reading (You know I'm currently reading TWO books? Not ONE book, or THREE books...TWO. I mean, if I ever want to finish these TWO books I'm going to need time to read them. Why does work get in the way of that? Why doesn't my job want me to read?). Or, as an alternative, I would be OK with sitting on my BIG, comfortable couch watching daytime shows like 'The View' or 'Dr. Phil'.

Yeah, I have watched 'The View' before, ok? And I used to watch Dr. Phil almost EVERY DAY. SO SUE ME?! No, really don't. Really. It's not in your best interest to sue me because I have don't have any money...


I'm telling you.

Let's see what else I can tell you...I ate a really good bagel with BUTTER on it for breakfast this morning. I really like butter. It's just amazing, isn't it? What a nice kind of yellow-y color (see? I told you YELLOW's in this season!), and the creaminess and sometimes saltiness of it...wow.

JEWISH!

So, it's been shits and giggles since I rediscovered Jewish the other day. For the past few months I've felt like something's been missing in my life. I had convinced myself that maybe I needed a new job or to meet a nice guy or get "out there" more and try new things. I was wrong though. I mean, my job's GREAT and I don't need a boyfriend or to do FUN things!

All I needed, apparently, was my daughter.

Look at how much she's grown up:


She wears EARRINGS now. She eats mac & cheese and ADULT vegetables like celery and spinach. I wouldn't be surprised if she could read and write and add and all those other things that real people can do.

If you remember, the last time you saw Jewish she looked something like this:


They grow up so fast don't they? Today is a very proud day for me and I just wanted to share it with all of you.

Please note, as well, the ADORABLE little robot Jewish is carrying. Hehe. She was dragging around a purse for a while...but I thought that as her mother, and positive female role model, I should provide her with an array of toys and accessories to choose from.

Please note, again, that my 'wanting to be a positive female role model' doesn't prevent me from dressing Jewish in skirts. She just looks so cute! Feminists believe in looking cute, don't they?

Show and Tell

It's just about that time again. What time is that?, you ask. Time to blog? No, don't be dumb. Time to make a difference in the world at large?. Yeah, right. Like I can make the world a better place while I'm at WORK.

Anyway, you're all wrong. It's time for lunch...except not. It's time for me to start wanting lunch and counting down the minutes until I actually take lunch. It's just that if I eat before 1 I get SO hungry later on in the afternoon...SO HUNGRY!

So, to distract myself until lunch time, I'm going to do a little show and tell with you all.

First of all, here's a picture of Maxwell:

He's really hot. I was talking to Rebecca and she mentioned a music video of his that was pretty steamy...so I watched that this morning. I really enjoyed it. MMMM

Secondly, here's a picture of Kristyn's duck:

AWWW! Isn't he adorable? His name's Paco...which is funny because PATO in Spanish means 'duck'. Paco El Pato...tee hee. If he's like Kristyn's child then I guess that makes him my little nephew. So I have a baby on facebook, a nephew in another country...I need something closer!

Here's a little drawing that I made for Jamie:


That's Candy Finnigan from 'Intervention'. Don't confuse the Candy Cane with this other drawing I did for Jamie a while back:

LOVES. Yes, it's the same head shot in both pictures. I can't find any other Candy Finn. pictures on the internet. It's like she's HIDING or something...
maybe she should talk to the cockroach in my room?

Fifthly, here's a cute picture from freshman year of college. LOOK AT ALL OF US!!!:


Sixthly, I learned that you can take pictures from your CELL PHONE and then e-mail them to yourself. TO YOUR E-MAIL. Does everyone know about this? MAN...all of the time I've wasted just hoarding pictures in my cell phone when I could have been e-mailing them to my friends and family while they're at work!

Seventhly, here are some pictures of LeSportSac bags that I want. My Aunt's going to China in a few weeks to visit my cousin who's studying abroad there and I asked her if she could bring me back a knock off.




These are all tote bags that I would accept. Hehe, JAY KAY. I would accept anything she gets me. I'd even accept something like this:

Yeah that's poop in the middle. I know, it's kind of gross...but I was just trying to illustrate a point...the point being that I'm really desperate for a LeSportSac, k?


Am I up to eightly? Well, whatever numberly, this is a picture of Sarah Palin when she was a beauty queen. Kind of cute and quirky, I think. Nice little short hair...



I still HATE HER.

A letter

A few things have been going on lately and I just want to clear my head.
So here goes:

Dear Cockroach living in my room,
Hey, what's up? We don't normally get to catch up like this because you're usually a) hiding in my closet or b) running to hide somewhere under my suitcases in my closet c) hiding under my bed or d) running around my bathroom, but that's a shame, don't you think? I mean, we're practically room mates by now and I normally maintain a level of friendship with my room mates. I don't want things to get too awkward between us.

That being said, we need to talk. Look, it's not me it's you. You're living in my room. !. I mean, if you were my friend and needed a place to crash I would for sure blow up my air mattress for you. Or if you were a cute guy and needed a place to crash I would definitely blow up my air mattress for you...or if I was drunk let you share my bed with me. But you're not my friend and you're not cute or a guy. In fact, you're DISGUSTING!!!!!!!!!

And you want to know something else, cockroach? I actually HATE YOU. You're BIG and ugly, which normally isn't enough for me to develop feelings of hatred. BUT, you also, on top of being BIG and ugly, have a HORRIBLE personality and are a free loader!

It was one thing when you hid in my closet. I could deal with that. Sure, you were crashing in my room rent-free but the hiding implied that you in some small way felt bad about it. You were ashamed of what you were doing.

And it was another thing when I saw you emerging from my room before bedtime. OK, so you were roaming around my room and going through my things without my permission but at least you were giving me my space.

But to just RUN around, from closet to bathroom and beyond without a CARE in the world?-that's F'd up. I am not OK with you taking advantage of me.

And you want to know some other thing else?! I actually don't care if it's awkward between us, ok? I just started off this letter in a polite fashion so that you wouldn't immediately stop reading and disregard what I have to say. So, there are two options for you right now: a) you can pay half of my monthly rent and share my room as an equal (ewwwWW!) or b) you can get the FUCK out of my room ASAP.

I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU and everything that you stand for. UGH!

Worst,
Becky

OMFG-Z

Are you KIDDING me?! Today isn't over yet?! It just feels like it's dragging...man. A week ago if you'd told me that I would be BORED at work I would have hit you in the face, then drop kicked you, stepped on while you were squirming on the floor, hocked some spit-in-yo-face and then told you to stop joking with me because I was really busy. But now...

I almost WANT work to do.

I can't believe I just admitted that.

Anyway, I'm going to just keep writing until it's time to leave. I think that's the only way to make these next 20ish minutes go. by. fast. er.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Today's been a pretty good day, despite the current boredom I'm experiencing. I got to watch John McCain on 'The View'. That was pretty funny. I mean, first of all he just looked SO awkward. Second of all, he used to be kind of cute when he was younger. NO? But that doesn't really have to do with 'The View'.

Third of all, despite his past good looks, he's an idiot. He said he didn't agree with Roe V. Wade, and he also said that he thinks Sarah Palin would be the BEST VP EVER. The ladies kind of tore him apart. And by 'kind of' I mean that they DID.

Elizabeth Hasselback is still going to vote for him though...awkward. Actually, young cute McCain and current cute Elizabeth would kind of make a cute couple.


What else happened today that I can tell you about?

I gchatted a few people about things that are of no consequence really. I talked to Debbie about pizza and things...and I talked to Erin about the Princess of Spain (it's her birthday! FELIZ CUMPLEANOS MI AMIGA!)...and to Josh about the cats >^..^<. And other people about other things. OH! And I found out that I didn't really delete my facebook baby, Jewish, after all. She was kind of dying when I found her...but I was able to cuddle her and give her new clothes and FOOD and medicine so maybe she won't hate me too much. I mean, she's only in kindergarten anyway... I can barely remember anything that happened to me before I turned 18 so maybe she'll forget about how I forgot about her. Thoughts?

HMM...it's still only 5:03?! MAN. UM...Kelsy e-mailed me some pictures from the dessert party which were super cute. Check out this funny one:
I don't know what face I THOUGHT I was making but...oh well. Still funny! tee hee!

UH...
what else can I tell you that will waste some amount of time?
Well, I'm going to the 92nd St. Y tonight for an event called "A Celebration of Maurice Sendak". Different artists like MERYL STREEP and DAVE EGGERS are going to be reading Sendak's works and performing. It should be pretty COOL.

I wore my special polka dot dress for it and EVERYTHING. Maybe I'll be spotted in the audience and someone will give me my big break! Not sure what my 'big break' would be exactly but no need to worry about that now.

Now it's only 5:11.

I can't do this anymore.

BYE.

I'll say 'hi' to Meryl for you all tonight when I see her ;)

Things I like about reality TV

I wanted to blog this morning, but I didn't want to put forth a real effort (sounds like me, doesn't it?).

How
To
Do
That
?

I went through my blog archives to find old entries that I'd started writing but had never finished. I thought that if I found an entry I was mostly done with all I'd have to do was add some jazzy pictures, throw in a few more sentences, and I'd be done.


Yeah, well...that didn't happen. I opened the 'Things I like about reality TV' draft and you know what I found? NOTHING except a title.

Why am I so lazy?! It doesn't hinder any of YOU...it only bothers ME and affects ME in the long run.

Well, fine. From scratch:

Things I like about reality TV
1)No plot line, really. I have a hard time, um...what's the word? Oh gosh, what was I talking about here? Someone? Have you seen the new animations in G Chat? The LOBSTER?! AND THE LITTLE MONKEY?! To die for.

(Yes, this is what 'child abuse' looks like...)


2) Entertaining. There's no denying that reality TV is entertaining. People eating bugs for MONEY?! Or other people design awesome outfits in less than 24 hours! And then, sometimes, people fight and say things about each other that aren't nice and like, other times, people have SEX...it's crazy. But so entertaining. I mean you don't have any of those elements in other kinds of TV shows with "story lines", do you?

(Google Image search 'entertaining' and you'll find this)

3) Short. Most reality TV shows have lots of commercials and therefore, if you have DVR, don't take a long time to watch. I'm REALLY busy and don't have a lot of free time to drink vodka and fresca and sit in my PJS in front of the TV so...that appeals to me. The shortness. Cuz I'm really busy.

UM

4) Famous people. A lot of times famous people appear in reality shows.

YOU: But Becky, famous people appear in all kinds of TV shows not JUST reality ones!

Yes, you're right. But they don't always appear as THEMSELVES in real TV shows, now do they?


5) High horse. Watching the sad, empty, shallow, HOT people on reality shows makes me feel good about myself. I mean, I might be sad, empty, shallow and HOT too but I'm not exploiting the media for my own advantage...right? I'm at least above that. AND, when I do stupid things people might REMEMBER them but they at least can't rewind and replay my words/actions. I'm sooooo above that/much better than that/cooler than reality TV stars.


6) Unpredictable. I get bored easily, in fact I'm REALLY bored right now...so when I watch TV I need to watch something that'll keep my interest. A good way to keep my interest is to be **BAM** umpredictable.


!!!!
<><

7) Funny. I mean, isn't it HILARIOUS when Jeff VanVonderen says "These people love ya like crazy and they're goin' ta fight ta get ya back?" each time he performs an intervention on 'Intervention'? And wasn't it funny on 'Legally Blonde: The Search for Elle Woods' every time Rhiannon cried or messed up one of her lines because she wasn't very talented? And wasn't it ESPECIALLY fun when...um...I'm blanking...someone else said something funny on ANY reality show EVER?! I mean, these people are just so stupid. Oh wait, maybe this should go behind #5.

Things I like about Barack Obama

I haven't blogged in a LONG TIMEEEEEE. I know. **And now I have called my lovely sister in the middle of the night to publish this for me. She is the best ever!** (I DID ask Kate to post this for me but I told her NOT to edit or add anything...and yet she did anyway...awkward)

But, I think it's high time that I write about Barack Obama in here. I mean, I'm reading his book 'The Audacity of Hope', I got a button of his from moveon.org in the mail two days ago (SO CUTE!), I made calls for moveon.org last night to get people in Ohio involved in the campaign...

Some of you don't like him, but it's not like you're going to comment on this or READ this anyway...so I'm ok with that.

In honor of the 2008 election and in the HOPES that we can get Obama/Biden elected (and not that crazy @#$* *@#$ !!#$ Sarah Palin. No seriously, home girl is out of control...that is if she really IS a woman since her policies indicate otherwise.) in November:

Things I like about Barack Obama

1) Change. We really need some change in the US. I don't make enough at my job and my kids don't have health care. Furthermore, I can't even afford to go to college and I need an abortion. That's scary isn't it? Why isn't my government helping me out? If I'm going to survive, things need to CHANGE. Obama advocates change ("Change we can believe in!"-heard that before? Yeah, he kind of made that phrase a big deal...) and therefore I advocate Obama.

2) Unity. I sort of hate all of you, regardless of your creed/race/habit of mispronouncing things/how you won't buy me presents, but that doesn't mean that we shouldn't all be unified. GOOOOOO TEAM! The Republicans seem to like bi-partisan, "gerrymangering" (I don't really know what that means but I read it in a news article this morning) politics but Obama wants us all to work together to make the US a better place to live and a better force in the world. I guess two heads, or 300 million, are better than one!


3) Me Talk Pretty One Day. Ever read that book by David Sedaris? I haven't, but I will one day. Anyway, Deb points out that Obama is a "great orator". He really is. He like, like, like...hardly ever stutters or anything. He's sooo smart. He gets his points across effectively...unlike some OTHER people.

Yes, I just dissed myself.

4) Wifey. And no, I'm not talking about that song by the group Next. So, Barack Obama is married to this pretty cool lady named Michelle Obama. She's good people. And her cousin is one of the head black Rabbis in the US! GO JEWS GO! Anyway, Michelle has a good head on her shoulders, was also previously involved in community organizing, and is a political asset to this country!

5) Make Love Not War. Barack Obama wants us to get out of Iraq ASAP and he wants to do it in a responsible way. By no means does that mean that doesn't support our troops and/or is unpatriotic...because he does and he is. Anyway, I think we need out of Iraq in a BIG way and I love that Obama thinks so too. War is not the answer!


6) Community-based. Obama was a community organized when he was just out of college. He helped impoverished people in Chicago gain access to jobs and job training. He listened as citizens explained their problems as well as their hopes. Well, I think communities are great. They do things together and say things. I actually am PART of a community myself soo...

7) Cute. Ok, it seems shallow and it actually IS shallow but it had to be noted.


8) The environment. Yeah Obama's all for pursuing alternative energy sources and NOT drilling in Alaska. It's pretty awesome and VERY important.

9) Hope. I have hope that things can be better. do you?

BunDt...

Jamie pointed out to me last night that not only am I dumb and don't know the difference between MYRRH and MIR, but I also mis-spelt BUNT cake in another entry. I think it was the one about Staten Island. It's BUNDT cake, everyone. I know. You've already gone and blogged about cakes and now you've MISS-SPELLDUH bundt cake too. Misinformation is really contagious.

And yes I've been spelling misspelled in different ways because I don't really know how to spell that either.

In other news, check it out: http://shomreitorahonline.org/news/

Kate's becoming a Rabbi!

WHOA! WHOA! WHOA! stop the presses...

Wow. So apparently it's MYRRH, not MIR. Mir is a village in Russia or something...

That's really awkward.

If you don't know what I'm talking about then re-read my last entry. And while you're reading it why not comment on it too?

I like comments!

Things that something or other bla bla...

I don't really have time to write a blog entry. I'm working, working, working. As I type this I'm entering someone's credit card information into a list for a big event we're having at work. And I'm listening to music and answering the phone...and I'm looking pretty. I mean, I'm really busy.

But, I know that you want to read something and who am I to deny you what you want? What am I the author of this blog or something? Or GOD?! I don't think so.

So I'm writing, and writing more...here are some more words. Oh, and here are some more.

What's that?

I'm sorry?!?!

OK, WOW. The cursing is really unnecessary. A simple 'thank you' would have done just fine. But I can see you're not that type of crowd. You're hostile. Maybe you've even had a few drinks or are on drugs. I don't know. But wait, speaking of drinks...you have alcohol in your desk at work too?! SERIOUSLY?! WOW! I'm willing to overlook your profanity now that I know you're an alcoholic too!

Maybe you're a more VISUAL types and you'd like to see some pictures instead of reading this nonsense. You want to see some pictures? Do you? Do you?

OK, well that picture is of a cat. It's really cute. And it has a funny punny caption on it which makes me like it more. Oh, you don't get it? It's like frankincense and gold and MIR, you know those things from the Bible or whatever. But because it's a cat it says 'purr' instead of mir because cats PURR. You know?

And this is a picture of shuffle board. Shuffle board's a REALLY fun game. You can play it at bars and stuff...
I played it at a bar on Friday. And I made a new, cute guy friend named Johnny. No seriously...he was really cute. *sigh*

Oh this is good. This is iced coffee from Dunkin Donuts. I thought of it because I'm having an iced coffee right now at work. The iced coffee I'm having now, though, is in a plastic mug and is with soy milk and doesn't have any logos affiliated with it...But anyway. I had some iced coffee from Dunkin' Donuts yesterday and it was delicious. I had it around 6pm though and then I couldn't sleep. Don't do that.

So that's a picture of Heather and I Eiffel-Towering Mike. I think that has a sexual meaning...but not in this situation obviously.


And this is a picture of the actual Eiffel Tower. It's so pretty, isn't it? Look at it blinging away...
And speaking of bling, here are some diamonds. Yeah. My birthday's in a few months so if you're stuck on what to get me and you don't have large piles of cash on hand I WILL accept diamonds.

Thanks in advance.

I'm outtie!