Things I won't do until September (or maybe even OCTOBER!)

IT IS AUGUST. And, I just found a batch of checks in my room meaning that I don't have to pay my rent in cash today. Yes, I was seriously considering that. I talked to Debbie and Jason about it. I wasn't even drunk.

With August comes a looming sense of fall around the corner. Actually, that's the opposite of what I mean. IT IS ALMOST GOING TO BE FALL EVERYONE!!!!! Well, in 7 weeks? I regret bringing this up now.

How have all of your summers been? So far, mine's been good? I have NOT been getting enough sleep / had enough time to be bored out of my skull in my apartment, which means I have been going out of town on the weekends, had people staying chez moi, hitting up various city pursuits during the weekend days and at night and...you know, living the dream / dreaming about living the dream (a girl's gotta sleep! am I right? am I right?)

As I sit and endure some of the more negative aspects of summer (read: THE HEAT), I think about things that I don't do in the summer / am anxiously waiting to do again in the fall:

1) Wear pants. OH MAN. As it is, my legs expand out from shorts like rising dough in an oven. I'm like 'I swore these things used to fit...I mean, I've been working out so I'm sure this is muscle weight?' I can't bear the idea of wearing shorts, really, let alone pants. I see people wearing jeans and I wonder if maybe I'm going through my change of life early. Then I remember that it's 90 degrees and no, that's not subjectively hot. THAT IS HOT.

2) Eat soup. Remember soup? I really enjoy a good cup of soup with crackers (OH HI HALE & HEARTY! I'm lookin' at you). But, can you imagine eating soup right now? I mean, when I'm in Cape Cod next week I will PROBABLY HAVE to have a cup of clam chowder but...that's it. Like how I casually dropped that I'm going to CC next week? True story.

3) Look cute when I'm sleeping. I don't drool that much when I'm sleeping, and have a relatively calm look on my face, resulting in what I have to assume is a cute appearance as I doze. In the summer, I flail around because of the heat in my room, and though I have two fans running, to cool off even more, I usually throw my hair up in a messy looking bun. In the morning, when I get out of bed, about 10 hairs remain in the bun, and the rest of my hair is sticking out in a faux lion's main. NOT. CUTE. No drooling though...just sayin'

4) Sit outside during the day in direct sunlight. Yeah. Shade is my best friend. OH. Did you think you were my best friend? UM...I mean I really like you. I just don't think we 'connect' on that level, you know?

5) Straighten my hair. Is there ever really a good time to straighten hair? In the winter, it snows and rains all the time...which is like...HORRIBLE for straightening hair. And in the summer, it RAINS from your pores into your hair (get it? ewww)...so what's the point in trying to do your hairs only to have them made curly again by humidity outside and sweat? In other news, I just bought a new hair straightener so...hey!

6) Drink a hot toddy. I know this seems obvious, I'm just sayin'.

7) Look attractive to any guys (see above). So basically, if I meet a guy now / have already met a guy and he thinks 'oh hey, you're doin' alright'...imagine how hot I'm suddenly going to be in September. A diamond in the rough, if you will.