Celebrities I would like to be friend with-installment 1

I really like celebrities. I read people.com whenever I get the change (usually about once a week cuz I'm like so super busy and cool and stuff...and like...other stuff) and if perezhilton weren't blocked at work I would be on that shiz 8/5 (eight hours a day, 5 days a week).

Lately I've been thinking about celebrities that I would like to be friends with. You might argue that I'm an unfriendly person who gets EXTREMELY shy around 'important' people. I might argue back that if you think that then why are you reading this?

Just to spite me?!


The more I think about celebrities, and then celebrities I want to be friends with, the more I want to blog about my fantasy celebesties/bestebrities.

So here I go...
Watch out world! Ain't no stoppin' us nowwwww we're on the road (doo doo dooo)


Celebrities I would like to be friends with:

1) Queen Latifah. OMG. Don't you just love her? From her you-go-girl rap career in the early 90's, to her JUICY episode of 'Behind The Music' in the late 90's, to her acting career on the HIT show 'Living Single'...*sigh*.

I've been a fan of Queen Latifah, or should I say, Dana O., for quite some time now. She just seems so...nice, you know? And now that she's REALLY famous and a cover girl I'm sure the perks from a friendship with her would be out-o-contr-o-l. Not to mention all the laughs and good times that we'd share...that's pricele$$.

2) Debra Messing. Did you ever watch the show 'Will & Grace'? I did. Man, that was a great show! First you had Grace and she was all like single, but then sometimes not single, and she was Jewish and then...well still Jewish. And Will...he was so cute! And Jack...actually was kind of annoying. But Karen was funny! Since then, I've been a big fan of Deb Messing. Her hair's all crazy, but hot...kind of like mine (when it's longer, obvs.). And she has smaller boobs than me so if we were to go out in public I'd be the friend with the big boobs. That doesn't happen to me too often...it'd be really nice.


3) Mark Summers. You know, the guy who used to host 'Double Dare' and 'What Would You Do?' ? Yeah. He used to be a little less creepy but I think the years of hosting C-List TV programs have really worn him down. That coupled with the fact that he has OCD apparently...not cool. Any Who, now that he has regular access to candy factories (read: FREE samples) on the TV show 'Unwrapped' I think a friendship with Mark Summers could be and WOULD be right up my alley!

Please refer to the following diagrams:
a)


b)

4) Paris Hilton. So, she might be kind of annoying but really rich. And now she has that TV show on MTv 'My New Bff'. I've never really been on TV (to my knowledge at least...awkard) so I'd like to be friends with Paris Hilton in order to be on TV. Also, I think she seems kind of funny and would give me a good makeover. I've always wanted a makeover!


5) Bill Clinton. Don't you think he'd be fun to hang out with? Pounding down shots in some sleazy dive bar. Playing the saxophone and jammin' in the streetz. HM. Might he try to seduce me...?


MORE LATER!

FINALLY...

So the third pair of boots I'm considering just loaded. Ch-ch-ch-check them out:


Very cute, aren't they? Maybe I should just get all three pairs. One brown, One black and One gray. Then I have all of my neutrals covered.

I wish I had gotten into the 'boot zone' a few weeks ago. Now I'm going to go Montreal this weekend and not be able to wear a pair of cute, new boots with a cute, new dress that I bought at H&M last week. !!!! @@@ %%% ###

Things I'd like to do this year

Hello Everyone! Shana Tova!

What's that?

It means 'Happy New Year' in Jewish. Oops! I mean Hebrew. Yes it's that time again. The time to eat apples and honey (doesn't sound like a good combo, but I assure you that if you eat it only once a year after sitting in services for a few hours it'll seem PRETTY tasty) and think about all the shiz you've done (good or bad). And let's not forget the dressing to impress. That's an important part of the High Holiday season too.

So yeah, it's a new year (5769 if you're curious/into that) and of course, being myself and all, I can't help but think about the year to come. What kind of stuff should I do? I mean, I have TWELVE months to fill with things! I better get started...

Things I'd like to do this year

1) Your mom! OK, that was too easy. You just walked right into that one!


2) Be more understanding. Well, maybe I should also add 'be a better listener' too. It's not that I don't remember what people are telling me when I'm actually listening to them. Usually, if I'm actually listening to you, I have a good conversation-retention rate. The problem is when I zone out in the middle of my conversations...

What? were we talking about something? I like your shirt! Wow! That's so cute. Target, right? Oh, banana? really? That's awkward...I guess I kind of implied that I think your shirt looks cheap. Not that target clothes look cheap. I mean, I own plenty of them myself...

Anyway, I'd like to be more sympathetic towards other people. Usually when people tell me their problems I do the 'this is the world's smallest violin playing the saddest song for you' thing or I say 'wah' or I punch them in the face. But maybe, just maybe, the world would be a more peaceful place if instead of being annoyed by others problems or mocking them I tried to understand them.

I'm sorry, were you saying something?

3) Write a novel. Well, I bet I know what you're thinking. A) Becky this seems redundant. Didn't you write a novel last year? B) Becky this seems redundant. You ramble so much in yourblog entries that they ALL seem like novels to me. Well, in response all I have to say is: Yes, I kind of did but I never finished it. And also, F U.

4) The Astoria Historical Society. Yeah. I bet you didn't even know it existed, did you?! Or maybe, you didn't care that it existed? Well, doesn't matter to me. I plan on hitting it up and learning about my 'hood in the upcoming year.


5) Fondue. Yeah, this isn't really something special...I just really like fondue. MMMM. With soy cheese, of course.

6) The Whitney Museum. I'm American. It's a museum for American art. Enough said, methinks.


7) The NY Botanical Garden. SOOOO I'd wanted to visit it anyway...but then last week they did a challenge on 'Project Runway' where the designers had to go to the gardens and take a picture of something nature-inspired and then design an evening gown based off of one of the pictures they'd taken. Well anyway, seeing the gardens on TV made me even more excited to go visit! Is it too cold now, though?


8) The Brooklyn Botanical Garden. I really like gardens, ok?! What about it?!

9) Go to Israel. Just need to sign up for the ASB trip. Why am I so laz

10) Have a party. Soon enough young skywalker, soon enough.

11) Get a pair of boots. Actually, I'm looking at some right now. Ch-ch-ch-check them out:



And another pair that's taking forever to load right now. So I'll just leave it at that.

BYEZIES!

Things that are happening now-partie 2

Why hello again! How's your day going?

I just had a political discussion in the mail room with our mail guy (TIRSO!), so I feel a bit pepped up. I also just found the COOLEST pin mixed in with a box of regular work pens. It's GREEN and PLASTIC (well, I guess that's a given) and CLEAR and it has a little bouncy ball kind of thing on the top.

*SIGH*.

So, all that talk about butter got me thinking about butter sculptures.

Take a look at some cool butter sculptures, won't you?:

Here we have a Ben Franklin type touching the liberty bell. Perhaps this Ben Franklin type should go see a chiropractor because he is VERY hunched over. That can't be good...

Is it wrong to make a butter sculpture of a cow? I mean, milk and cream come from cows...

You ain't nothin' but a hound dog (doo doo doo), cryin' all the time (doo doo doo doo doo)...

I don't know how to caption this besides 'awkward' because honestly, it is, isn't it?

I wonder what I was trying to accomplish by doing this. All this has done is made me want to go out and buy butter and eat it plain.

Things that are happening now-partie 1

UGH, man.

I don't want to be here today! I would prefer to be sitting in my comfortable, BIG bed reading (You know I'm currently reading TWO books? Not ONE book, or THREE books...TWO. I mean, if I ever want to finish these TWO books I'm going to need time to read them. Why does work get in the way of that? Why doesn't my job want me to read?). Or, as an alternative, I would be OK with sitting on my BIG, comfortable couch watching daytime shows like 'The View' or 'Dr. Phil'.

Yeah, I have watched 'The View' before, ok? And I used to watch Dr. Phil almost EVERY DAY. SO SUE ME?! No, really don't. Really. It's not in your best interest to sue me because I have don't have any money...


I'm telling you.

Let's see what else I can tell you...I ate a really good bagel with BUTTER on it for breakfast this morning. I really like butter. It's just amazing, isn't it? What a nice kind of yellow-y color (see? I told you YELLOW's in this season!), and the creaminess and sometimes saltiness of it...wow.

JEWISH!

So, it's been shits and giggles since I rediscovered Jewish the other day. For the past few months I've felt like something's been missing in my life. I had convinced myself that maybe I needed a new job or to meet a nice guy or get "out there" more and try new things. I was wrong though. I mean, my job's GREAT and I don't need a boyfriend or to do FUN things!

All I needed, apparently, was my daughter.

Look at how much she's grown up:


She wears EARRINGS now. She eats mac & cheese and ADULT vegetables like celery and spinach. I wouldn't be surprised if she could read and write and add and all those other things that real people can do.

If you remember, the last time you saw Jewish she looked something like this:


They grow up so fast don't they? Today is a very proud day for me and I just wanted to share it with all of you.

Please note, as well, the ADORABLE little robot Jewish is carrying. Hehe. She was dragging around a purse for a while...but I thought that as her mother, and positive female role model, I should provide her with an array of toys and accessories to choose from.

Please note, again, that my 'wanting to be a positive female role model' doesn't prevent me from dressing Jewish in skirts. She just looks so cute! Feminists believe in looking cute, don't they?

Show and Tell

It's just about that time again. What time is that?, you ask. Time to blog? No, don't be dumb. Time to make a difference in the world at large?. Yeah, right. Like I can make the world a better place while I'm at WORK.

Anyway, you're all wrong. It's time for lunch...except not. It's time for me to start wanting lunch and counting down the minutes until I actually take lunch. It's just that if I eat before 1 I get SO hungry later on in the afternoon...SO HUNGRY!

So, to distract myself until lunch time, I'm going to do a little show and tell with you all.

First of all, here's a picture of Maxwell:

He's really hot. I was talking to Rebecca and she mentioned a music video of his that was pretty steamy...so I watched that this morning. I really enjoyed it. MMMM

Secondly, here's a picture of Kristyn's duck:

AWWW! Isn't he adorable? His name's Paco...which is funny because PATO in Spanish means 'duck'. Paco El Pato...tee hee. If he's like Kristyn's child then I guess that makes him my little nephew. So I have a baby on facebook, a nephew in another country...I need something closer!

Here's a little drawing that I made for Jamie:


That's Candy Finnigan from 'Intervention'. Don't confuse the Candy Cane with this other drawing I did for Jamie a while back:

LOVES. Yes, it's the same head shot in both pictures. I can't find any other Candy Finn. pictures on the internet. It's like she's HIDING or something...
maybe she should talk to the cockroach in my room?

Fifthly, here's a cute picture from freshman year of college. LOOK AT ALL OF US!!!:


Sixthly, I learned that you can take pictures from your CELL PHONE and then e-mail them to yourself. TO YOUR E-MAIL. Does everyone know about this? MAN...all of the time I've wasted just hoarding pictures in my cell phone when I could have been e-mailing them to my friends and family while they're at work!

Seventhly, here are some pictures of LeSportSac bags that I want. My Aunt's going to China in a few weeks to visit my cousin who's studying abroad there and I asked her if she could bring me back a knock off.




These are all tote bags that I would accept. Hehe, JAY KAY. I would accept anything she gets me. I'd even accept something like this:

Yeah that's poop in the middle. I know, it's kind of gross...but I was just trying to illustrate a point...the point being that I'm really desperate for a LeSportSac, k?


Am I up to eightly? Well, whatever numberly, this is a picture of Sarah Palin when she was a beauty queen. Kind of cute and quirky, I think. Nice little short hair...



I still HATE HER.