Things I got for FREE today

The Jew in me is screaming!

Not because it's Shabbat.

Not because it's Rosh Hashanah or Yom Kippur (The Days of 'Awe' as we like to call them).

Not because there are free tickets to a Matisyahu concert.


Not because Adam Sandler just put ANOTHER version of the Hanukkah song (what are we up to? 22? 23?).

Not because Woody Allen stopped by my office, and not even because OF my office.

Not because I just ate a good bagel, or even because I just made a whole list of Jewish stereotypes.

No, the Jew in me is screaming because I got A LOT OF FREE stuff today!

Free! If there's anything better than getting something for free please tell me. I'd like to know. I feel like I deserve to be enlightened. Oh and I feel like I should clarify. By 'something for free' I don't mean cat calls that you get in the street (because you get called at for FREE), or fliers that are left in your wind shield when you park your car somewhere (that's not FREE, that's trash), or gum that gets stuck on the bottom of your shoe (that's GROSS). By 'getting something for free' I mean getting something (a noun) , in a non-shady way (no sex, please!), for NO cost to you. Preferably, this 'thing' would be something that you would normally HAVE TO pay for.

So, things I got for free (that I wanted, in a non-shady, non-gross, awesome way):

1) Massage! A five minute massage, or was it SIX minute massage, at my work's wellness fair. SWEET!

2) Orange Juice AND an orange. Oh yeah, FREE orange juice AND a FREE orange...also at the wellness fair!


3) Toothpaste! Well, I'm nowhere near to being out of toothpaste but a small travel-sized tube never hurt anyone.

4) Half of a tuna melt sandwich! OK, so this is a little shady...but my boss didn't want the rest of the her delicious tuna melt and offered it to me so, duh, I accepted! A FREE lunch! And, the sandwich came with fries. MMM
5) A little green stress-ball-y guy. This is hard to explain, but it was FREE, and I love it. Something to note: I also got this at the wellness fair! Can we have these every week? Or better yet, every hour of every day?!

I think that's it. What a great list. I know you must all be really jealous so, just to be safe, I'll be locking of all these valuables up in a safe and hiring someone to watch over it for me. Oh, and incase YOU apply for that position, I won't hire you. No one who reads this blog can guard my possessions.

(random)
:)

Things you can do without talking pt. 2

So, I talked to some of my loyal readers and it seems like there's a REAL interest out there as to what I actually DID without talking yesterday. I mean, sure there's the hypothetical list of what I am ABLE to do without talking (cure cancer, save a child from drowning, end poverty-I know I didn't mention any of these but I thought they were implied...why are you so stupid?/slow?/my friend?/my family member?) but when given the chance to have a sick day from work sans parler...what DID I ACTUALLY do? Did I make the most of my opportunities? Did I overcome?!

1) Watched TV. Let me clear something up for all of you. In case you sit at your desk/in class/wherever the hell you work and think 'Gosh. My life is so lame. I wish I was at home watching TV RIGHT now. I bet you there's so much good stuff on!'...you're wrong. There is nothing good on TV during the day while you'er away from home. You're not missing anything. I mean, I TRIED to watch an episode of Tyra and got three minutes into it before I started shaking and crying for no apparent reason. I attempted to tape some random stand up routines off of HBO-C (that's C for comedy, duh!...though I guess it could stand for 'crap' too) and that was no dice. There was no 'What Not To Wear' on. No episodes of 'Snapped' to watch. No episodes of 'Made' or 'True Life' or ANYTHING!

Dear Monday-Friday-9-5 TV,
You are lame and I hate you. Thanks for NOTHING (read: not entertaining me when I was home sick).

You're a whore,
Becky


2) Read. Yes...I am in a bit of a reading kick right now. I guess it's good if you like the whole 'intellectual' approach to life. Right now I'm reading this book called 'Not Me' that my Aunt Jane gave me for Chrismukkah. Oh you want to know what it's about? I would tell you but then I'd have to kill you! Just kidding, hehe. I'm just too laz

3) Napped. Wow. So I went to bed hella early-z on Sunday night (was the sun still out when I went to bed? It's possible) and then slept til 7. I woke up, decided not to go to work, watched some of 'The Today Show' (ok, so there was this couple on 'The Today Show' whose children were kidnapped 20 years ago by the wife's father. And then, after a show about the kidnapping aired on TV, someone reported seeing the kids and their grandfather got turned in. But now they're in hiding and don't know if they want to even MEET their parents. Can you imagine? You suddenly find out your children are alive after twenty years only now they might not want to meet you? SLAP-IN-DA-FACEz), read for about twenty minutes and then napped for two hours. Being awake makes me really tired, I guess.

4) WALKED to the STORE. If you remember correctly, this encompasses two things on the previous list: walking and shopping. To be fair though, I didn't buy any clothes or DVDs or knives...or anything I didn't need. I just bought lemons and tea and honey and some soup.



5) Killed a bitch. Look, she tried to take my soup. I had JUST bought it...I was really left with no other alternative.


6) Injected some heroin. OH, just kidding! That was someone on 'Intervention'. And then she fell asleep. With the needle in her leg. Can you believe it? You know the show 'Kids say the Darndest Things?'. What if they made a show, hosted by someone like...ME, called 'Drug Addicts do the Darndest Things?'. I would watch. Well, mainly to see myself because I'd be hosting but you say tomato, I say tuh-mah-toe..etc.

7) Ate some cookies. Yes, I actually bought cookie dough at the store even though a) I'm pretty sure chocolate is bad for you if you're sick and c) I didn't need to be eating cookies. I only ate 4. OK 5. I only ate 5.

8) Did I say that I watched someone inject heroin?

Things you can do without talking

Hey Everyone! I'm home sick from work today. I mean, I don't feel sick (no headache or fever or coughing, really)...but I have a sore throat and I've just been chatting, chatting, screaming, chatting, yelling, chatting, talking, gossiping all weekend. So I decided to take a break today.

Oh no, I'm not going to the DOCTOR. I mean, he's all the way in Manhattan. I'm just not going into work and I'm not going to talk today.

I know. I am not going to talk today. YES. ME. I am not talking.

HM...so what am I going to do all day? What can you do when you're not talking?

1) Watch TV. Since I was a wee lass I've been watching TV. First it was whatever Kate and Josh had on, then it was 'The Little Mermaid' over and over again. Followed by 'Beauty & The Beast' on repeat and then 'The Lion King' and random shows on the Disney Channel (not that I was susceptible to advertising or anything...gosh! I can't believe you would say that). Sometimes I watched Nickelodeon too.

2) Read. Since I was a wee lass I've been reading. First it was whatever my teachers assigned me to read. Then it was the 'Little Golden Book' series that I would bring along to family functions, then it was 'The Babysitters' Club' over and over again. Followed by 'Goosebumps' on repeat (those books are SO shitty, anyone? anyone? but it was cool that you could see/feel goosebumps on the lettering on the cover of the books) and then 'Harry Potter' and then, you know, stuff.

3) Sleep. Since I was a wee lass (is this getting annoying yet?) I've been sleeping. First it was whenever my parents told me to go to sleep. But later on, I would just put myself to sleep. And now, I just nap all the time and sleep pretty much every night. I love sleeping!

4) Eat. I eat. a lot. every day. Sometimes I eat things like chick peas (of course when I eat them they're a little more like chic peas if you get my drift), but other times I'll make a thing of cookies and eat them all. It really depends on the day. Today, I'll try to fill myself with tea and then maybe I won't want to eat 15 cookies too. Or maybe I will. I really can't say...

(How can I say no? I'm so weak *cough*)


5) Take a walk. Well, you can technically take a walk and not talk. But, I think the whole point of me taking the day off today was to a) not talk and b) RELAX...walking = moving which in my mind is not relaxing. I mean, it CAN be relaxing I just...like...um...@!#$@!#!@

6) Draw. I saw 'Coraline in 3D' on Saturday and it made me want to draw or just CREATE something. I won't give anything away but, the graphics were just beautiful and they got me to thinking. I mean, sure these people have been designers and graphic artists for years but SURELY I could conjure up something just as good. I mean, people like cats right? And I am really good at drawing cats...

7) Games. I've been getting into online games, again. I'm back to playing text twirl on facebook and playing diamond mine at yahoo! games (they better give me money for that plug). You certainly don't need to talk to play games online. In fact, talking is discouraged. HMMM...

8) Staring. It doesn't take any 'throat action' (that's what she said....day is in less than week!) to stare at people. But then I have to leave my apartment....I guess I can just stare at things in here?

9) G-Chatting. OH G-Chat...I love you so much. Like so so so so so much. Will you be my valentine?


10) Go shopping (for stuff I don't need). If only it was March...

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

To be continued...

friends are nice

So Becky's asked me to guest blog today. I feel so honored.
Becky and I have been friends since the first day we moved into the dorms freshman year of college. We've had many many good times together.
Becky's such a good friend that last year in June she came to visit me in Honduras where I'm serving as a Peace Corps Volunteer. It was so nice to show her around and where I live and have her meet my friends. Last week, we got to have the reverse experience when I went to visit Becky in New York City! I got to stay in her apartment, see her neighborhood, meet her friends, etc. And it really was the reverse experience since the biggest city in the US is about as far as you can get from a tiny town in Honduras. It was just like old times hanging out with Becky, visiting museums, going to themed parties, walking around.
Before I left for Peace Corps, my biggest concern was that 27 months is a LONG time. I was worried about all the things I'd miss and the people I'd lose touch with. I've now been in Honduras for a year and a half. Although 2 years really is a long time, and I have missed things, my relationships with the important people in my life haven't faded. When I see people I haven't seen in over a year, it seems as though no time has passed. Spending the past couple weeks with my friends, I've realized that our relationships are strong enough to stand time apart. It's really nice to know that we have that.
ok, I can't think of anything else to write so maybe I'll wrap this up with a list of nice memories I have of Becky.

1. Going to the top of the Washington Monument, the National Building Museum, and the National Archives in one productive day
2. Walking home from some party or something one night and seeing lots of deer and Becky thought they were creepy
3. Sitting in the middle of Dupont Circle at night with an open bottle of Bacardi, me having an emotional breakdown and Becky giving me good advice
4. Studying in an empty classroom together and Becky drawing and writing song lyrics on the whiteboard
5. Walking in a circle around the bar at Clydes to see who we could run into
6. Having lots of funny (and serious) conversations on AIM
7. Going to Mt. Vernon and laughing at the sheep baaa-ing (that might have just been me)
8. Having an under the sea party for Becky's birthday with goldfish crackers
9. "I feel sorry for those ducks because they're stuck in that water"
"but ducks can fly..."
10. night picnic in the field next to the Berks
11. "Kristyn was my first friend in college!"

Some additional notes

:

1) This season of 'Flight of the Conchords' isn't as funny as last season. FYIzies

2) Debbie and Jason hosted Kristyn and I for the super bowl. It was Debbie and Jason who went out and bought us the delicious potato skins and wings and mozzarella sticks that we ate. It was Debbie (and Jason?) who made the outstanding guacamole that I ate almost all of. It was Debbie and Jason who listened to me be ridiculous as they tried to watch the game. Debbie and Jason. Debbie and Jason. Debbie.

Is that enough mention, for you?

3) Jamie still hates the free art/trash that I brought home. BUT, she is good company for drinks and makes delicious football brownies (so adorable) so I am willing to overlook it. Also, she's had a rough week at work so...

HI

4) Odin's e-mail address is up and running so if you're looking for a good time or want to be funny and send a BABY an e-mail (a baby?!?! baby's don't have e-mail! I know. It's just out of this world!) send away to: ninjapirateprincesscowboybaby@gmail.com. He'll write back, too!

5) Um....bye!

Things that I did over the weekend

Is Tuesday/Wednesday too late to blog about the weekend? It isn't, right?

Well I hope not, because I had a really great weekend and I'd like to show off, I mean, um, WOW, tell you all about it! Aren't you curious about what I did this weekend? Aren't you? Come on Come on! What are you chicken or something? Are you afraid to admit that you care about my weekend?


Even if you are, I will tell you about it anyway.

Kristyn came to visit this past weekend! I know, it was crazy. This has been months, even YEARS in the making and I was so glad to have her finally come visit. We did so many things, including:

1) Go to shul. Oh yes, a good Jewish girl always goes to shul on the weekend. And she always calls it shul, too. And if she goes to an LGBT shul she definitely brings along other non-Jewish/straight friends...just to um...stick it to 'them'?

2) Went out for drinks. MMM. I love drinks...esp. on a Friday night and esp. with good company. First, we went to a trailer park themed bar which...I actually enjoyed. a lot. There were lights hanging and TATER TOTS available for order. Am I white trash? Then, we went back to Queens to Doyles Corner Pub for a drink with Jamie and Shane. What a place. What a place.

3) Listened to Blue Grass music via my TV at 2 am. Actually, I don't know why I'm sharing that with people...Though I will say it's very relaxing...


4) Went to brunch. I feel SO NYC-y when I go to brunch. Suddenly I'm stylish and sophisticated. Hats don't look weird on me anymore and I barely spill drinks or food on myself. I know the subway like the back of my hand, and I can navigate through the West AND East Village blindfolded.

5) Went to P.S. 1. What's P.S. 1 you ask? Gosh, you don't know? Anyone who's ANYONE knows what P.S. 1 is. I mean, I've known of it for WEEKS now...see that? WEEKS! Anyway, it's a modern art gallery that's affiliated with MOMA and located in Queens. It's kind of a big deal, and I WENT! I guess that makes ME kind of a big deal!

6) Went to a Kansas party. Kansas Shmansas, I know. But I can't turn down a party where there's: guacamole, beer, my friends, a hat, apples to apples... I especially can't turn down a party if it's in Astoria...that'd be like turning down a party in your pants.

Wait...

7) Went to the Chinese New Year parade. As Kristyn said, offensively, 'wow! there are so many Chinese people here!'... Highlights include: MANY dragons dancing around like nobody's business, a Ronald McDonald float, and a FREE piece of bubble gum. *NOTE* I actually threw the bubble gum away. You just can't trust candy from strangers...

8) Went to the Transit Museum. So, I've already been there...but over 7 months ago. And, give my memory, it's likely that I forgot pretty much everything that I learned on my first visit. That being said, it was fun to get to see the old train cars again and to um, see other things too.


9) Watched 'The Superbowl'. Well, only the first half...but that's better than nothing, right? OH, and let's not forget the food...



10) Found FREE art. YES, FREE. ART. On the street! But Jamie doesn't want to put it up in the living room...

Things I'm thinking

Why, hello! Probably about a week since my last blog entry...

Yeah...I've been sitting pretty over here. you know, relaxin' and maxin' all cool and all shootin' some bball outside of the school...
My legs are stretched up on my desk, I'm wearing sweat pants, I have some chicken grease stains on my shirt (why worry about clothes?), I've never been more relaxed or happier in my life...I haven't received any annoying e-mails this week or wanted to hang up the phone on anyone who's called me...

I haven't even showered in the past week...that's how relaxed I am!

OK, now that I'm done lying I guess I'll blog. I always feel good when I blog. I feel accomplished. It's like that feeling you have in high school where you don't really want to work on a paper but it's due the next day so you spend HOURS preparing it and then the next morning, even though you're exhausted, you feel so GOOD because you finished you work and you learned something....


Blogging is like that for me. Minus the HOURS and the exhaustion. Actually, sometimes it is exhausting...anyway...it's been a while since I did this so:

Things I'm thinking

1) I really like hot chocolate. One of the best things about winter is that it affords me the ability to drink hot chocolate (and sometimes more than one mug) without seeming like a chocolate addict. "No no, I'm not OBSESSED with hot chocolate...gosh! It's just really cold outside and I don't like tea or coffee or wearing sweaters..."

2) I really like 'I'm From Barcelona'. Yes Deb, you were right! They're just catchy and fun and they cheer me up. Not that I ever need cheering up or have feelings because I'm totally super human but...

:)

3) I was just talking to my Bestie Jenn about this, but I have a new idea for a gmail theme. I would like to take the ninjas from the ninja theme who hang out around the inbox and at the bottom of the computer screen , add them to the weather from the bus stop theme, add the color-changing from the beach theme, and then also add additional ninjas to be hanging out above the chat boxes like the zoozimps from the zoozimps theme. I think it would be amazing...and I'd no longer have to choose between the things that I like so much in either of the themes.


4) Pancakes. Well, I was also talking about this to Jenn but...February 24th is FREE pancakes (pancake sounds better but you actually get THREE free pancakes so...) day at Ihop! We're planning on going (there's many Ihops in Queens, who would have thought? I guess we love our pancakes) and now I'm thining about what kind of syrup I should get. DEFINITELY strawberry, I mean, really. No question there. But what about the other two pancakes...? And how early am I willing to get up for Ihop?


5) Snow. It's 'snowing'...sort of. It's not sticking and it doesn't look pretty. It's just making the roads wet and me not want to go out side. WHINE WHINE WHINE. Though, I did wear my new silver boots so I, hopefully, won't fall down the subway stairs.

6) I'm tired

7) I shouldn't be drinking coffee at 4 pm. I hope this doesn't keep me up at night

8) I can't wait to see Odin tomorrow! Hopefully I can take another picture of him and then photoshop them for this blog. That would be fun. But I wonder what I should or could or WOULD make him next. He's lived a full photoshop life already...

9) I should make an e-mail address for Odin. These days babies can't really get by without using the computer. I mean, earlier today for example, Odin and I were gchatting.

Dave: vy ng dexvtg n hjb vcvvb

that's from odin

me: AWWWWWW

!

tell him this is from me:

Dave: he's pretending to be a giant stomping on the keyboard

me: <3<3<3<3 :) :) v.V.v

oh wow. the last part is a lobster but now it just looks like i'm mad at odin...

hahaha

awww

Dave: he liked it i could tell by the spit bubbles

It was really meaningful and were it not for gchat I don't think I'd have any idea what's going on in Odin's life. For all I know he could be smoking and reading and other adult things by now.

***

I made an e-mail address for Odin: ninjapirateprincesscowboybaby@gmail.com. If you want to e-mail him, click there!

10) I want to go shopping. I want boots and I want more sweat pants and I want a hoodie and I want a scarf and I want some plain, silver earrings since I lost the other pair I used to wear. And I want shows on DVD! And I want, um...to get a tattoo and my ears re-pierced and some more stud earrings. I WANT SO MANY THINGS!