What I did over the weekend-limerick form

Hello Everyone! I hope you had a nice weekend! What's that? You had a crappy weekend? You don't have any friends, besides me and this blog? You missed me and didn't know what to do without me? Well, I guess I'm flattered. But I'm also creeped out! I'm your only friend? You have no life besides THIS blog? How did you let your life get to this place? What's wrong with you?

AWW. AWWW. There there. I didn't mean what I said. I'm drunk, ok? That's why I said those things. Stupid tequila! OK, I'm not really drunk but...what other excuse besides intoxication could I have for being a douche and making you feel bad?


So, the haikus were a big hit! Thanks for all the comments and praise. But now I'm ready to move on to something else: Limericks

Incase you don't remember/never knew what a limerick is, I quote:

"The standard form of a limerick is a stanza of five lines, with the first, second and fifth having 7-10 syllables and rhyming with one another, and the third and fourth having five or six and rhyming separately."

So, let's give this a shot! What I did over the weekend-limerick form

I went to visit Rebecca
She lives in P.A., not Tribeca
She rents a clean house
Without a roach or mouse
Something, Something Shme-shme-ka

We went for drinks Friday night
We got along, no fights
I had some red wine
Two beers later, I felt fine
In my houndstooth dress-what a sight!


Sat. a.m. we ate some eggs
With delicious tea sans dreggs!
I took a shower
For an hour
The water scalded my legs

Just playin' about the water
It wasn't that hot-it was hotter!
I'm kidding with you again
No wonder I have no friends
When I walk I teeter-totter


Our next stop was salvation army
We needed clothes for THE party
What party you ask?
Clothes? Such a task!
But, you need pants to party-hearty

THE party was a 90's affair
I even braided my hair
We wore big shirts
Leggings so ugly they hurt
Once the music gets going, who cares?!


Sunday morning Elizabeth came
Just for the day, what a shame
We ate some brunch
Had candy for lunch
Played mall madness-what a game!

When Elizabeth left I drove back
To Queens, well, after I packed
There wasn't much traffic
I listened to music
But driving, anyway, is whack

In short, Pennsylvania was rad
Being back at work's a bit sad
But, Becca and I had fun
I enjoyed the visit a ton
And for the memories I am glad


Should I return to haikus
I don't know what to do, do you?
Let me know what you think
Leave a comment, post a link
So I can figure out which form to use

HASTA!

This might be the last haiku post for a while

From the fog, through the rain storm, under snow flakes Andrew comes a-running to point out more syllable counting mistakes in my haikus.

To be fair, I DO appreciate the critiques.

And to be even more fair, I was probably a) on the phone b) talking to someone c) looking up info and d) coding checks when I was writing those so.

LET ME MAKE CORRECTIONS!

ORIGINAL:
Taking the crosstown bus
What a cast of characters
In my life's movie

CORRECTION:
TOOK the crosstown bus
What a cast of characters
In my life's movie

ORIGINAL:
We had some extra time
So of course we got a drink!
Magners Cider Rocks!

CORRECTION:
We had extra time
So of course we got a drink!
Magners Cider Rocks!

ORIGINAL:
OK really, goodnight
No more book, ipod or phone
Get my beauty rest

CORRECTION:
Ok really, 'night
No more book, ipod or phone
Get my beauty rest

I will be correcting the original so it reads smoothly......

Practice makes perfect!

And even more haikus

I left work around 5:30 yesterday and didn't go to bed til 11 (so late, right?). That's almost 6 hours of waking-ness out of the office! Since I was technically doing a 'day in the life: haikus' feature, I think it's only fair if I continue on and recount my after-work-day yesterday in haiku form.

Debbie and I left
We went to see some art, cool!
Paper cuts are neat



Took the crosstown bus
What a cast of characters
In my life's movie


We had extra time
So of course we got a drink!
Magners Cider Rocks!

Shake Shack, I love you
Your hamburgers are so good
You have changed my life


And Also, Shake Shack
I love your french fries, for realz
A recipe, please?

Playing hard to get
Fine! No recipe for me!
See if I come back

Baby, I'm sorry
I didn't mean what I said
I love you, Shake Shack

Why does nine feel late?
I'm ready for bed. RIGHT. NOW.
I'll read 'Twilight' first


Goodnight Moon, Goodnight
I think I have to pee now
Thanks a lot mint tea!

Good, I feel better
Now I can relax, rest some
BZZZ-is that my phone?



OK really, 'night
No more book, ipod or phone
Get my beauty rest

Haikus continued

Oh shit, I'm stupid
Hours is two syllables
Andrew is right, duh

but Latez is just one
So, ha! I can 'kind of' count
'Kind of', not 'really'

Now, that being said
I can't really talk right now
Too much "busy" work

I will post later
Some great haikus and pictures
Can you wait for it?

In love with presidents...or something...

To sum up current events: Valentines Shmalentines Day, I normally say. And what's a President, anyway? I usually ask.

But today isn't just any other day, like those holidays . Today is Tuesday, February 17th for Chrissakes! Doesn't that mean anything to you? Me either.

Since today is February 17th, 2009 (a day that will never be repeated...isn't that morbid?), and since I have no other ideas but I haven't blogged for a while, and since Kate suggested this topic I present to you:

A day in the life of Becky: Haikus

Waking up is hard
Shower today? Tomorrow?
Why am I dirty?

What clothes should I wear?
A dress, or possibly pants?
I could go naked


Taking the subway
Who are all of these people?
Reading 'twilight'-yay!


Where are my glittens?
Oh right, I don't own any
A girl can have dreams

Eating my breakfast
Cereal bar and an orange
Coffee would be nice

Facebook stalking now
Look at those pics, those wall posts
I am a big creep


Is it lunch time yet?
Another half hour or more
I might eat myself

What to blog about?
Kate suggests doing haikus
Five-Seven-Five, right?


"Someone just called me?"
I don't know you, weird lady
But now I hate you

Wanting to nap now
Can I crawl under my desk?
No one has to know


Deb came and said 'hi'
We joked, and wasted some time
Now it's four o'clock!

Let's haiku all day
I suggested in G-Chat
This is what Kate said:

"That would be so hard
That's what she said! I went there
Ten minutes, one line


I was mad impressed
Had Kate been hiding her skillz?
Here's what I wrote back:

Kate the english whiz
Becky can barely speak good
Haikus are funny

Now back to my job
Pretend I've been hard at work
Maybe I have been?


Coding checks is lame
Why can't a robot do this?
Oh wait, is that me?


Bye everyone, latez'
It's been fun, messing around
Let's get drinks sometime

On behalf of the academy...

...my family, friends, G-d (yes you big guy! well, you might not be a guy. In fact, you're not really human at all so why would I call you 'he' or 'she'? Why limit what you are, G-d? You can be anything that you want to be! But, why even limit you to a 'thing' actually. Aren't things human constructs too? This is exhausting), the internet, my job (that allows me time to blog whilst working), MIKEY (because he bought me this web domain! Remember? I told you that in the last blog entry? Do you guys even pay attention to anything I write in here? Check the previous entry, gosh. And don't bother reading unless you're going to COMMIT, ok?!), and other...things I can't remember right now, I'd like to say 'thank you for this legit web address'

It seems like just yesterday that I started this blog. I was a young kid then, with little more than pennies and a paper clip in my pocket and a head full of dreams.


'I have a dream' I said, the day I started this blog. 'I have a dream that one day there will be a blog. A blog full of random thoughts and tangents that will stretch on for many lines. A blog with funny pictures and even funnier ideas. A blog that's inspired, and at the same time kind of boring unless you're the one who wrote it. A blog that's colorful, but also black. And I want, above all, this blog to make people happy. And by 'people' I mean myself. I want this blog to make me happy'

And so I began. The first few entries were too long and lacked pictures. The entries after that were also too long, but HAD pictures. Some things worked ( 'things that grind my gears' for example) and other things didn't ('things I like about leprechauns' anyone?) but I trudged on. I saw my blog for what it could be, for the potential it had.

Slowly, you all caught on. First it was Debbie and Erin who would comment to me, saying they had LOVED my blog and that it was the funniest thing they'd ever read. Next it was Kate and Josh, asking me how I'd hidden my talents all these years? Then it was complete strangers who waited outside my apartment with banners saying things like 'BECKY'S BLOG is the BEST BLOG EVER'.

Finally, it was a segment on 'The Today Show' where Matt Lauer interviewed and asked me how I got to be so frickin' sweet (I didn't know he talked like that either. It was totally crazy). Holding a lollipop in my hand, wearing a flowered bonnet and a prairie dress, smiling from ear-to-ear I answered in the words of Will.I.Am 'I got it from my momma, Matt'.

I installed google analytics to track how many of you were actually reading this blog. Surprisingly, the numbers began to climb. First 10 people a day, then 20, and sometimes even 30 or 40! WOW! My ego inflated with this new found success. I started buying mink coats, drinking crystall (and not the creepy Colombian Cristal by accident, the legit, P.Diddy champagne-y Crystall), sleeping from noon til' 8 every day, and speaking with a British accent. Was I funny enough to pull off being snobby?

And slowly, I realized I was. And that I also wasn't. You know how these things work. One day you're a quirky hit, and the next day you're a bitchy leper who no one wants to touch. And I just want to be touched!

That being said, I calmed down a little and things progressed until a few days ago when my blog, as you know, became official. And for that, I am truly grateful *lights up a long, Cruell Deville type cigarette*.

Oh, I hear that awful music cutting me off and some guy is in my ear telling me to wrap this up...or is it 'rap'?...so I will. Again, thank you so much to my friends and family and to Jesus and to G-d and to Mohammed and the lady who got off the subway this morning and left me her seat, oh and to Buddha (my bad, Buddha!), and Mikey, and the lady who gave me a massage the other day (that 7 minutes has really made all the difference), and my cats, and the people who work at Dunkin' Donuts and always give me 5 or 6 munchkins when I only ask for/pay f or 3, and to the Academy.

DOT.COMS are not dead. They're just beginning! viva le beckysaysthat.com ! ole

Things I got for FREE yesterday

You might be thinking to yourself:

'Wait a second. Could Becky have gotten MORE free things yesterday? Would Becky have gotten MORE free things yesterday? HOW did Becky get more free things yesterday? Isn't Becky filling up her quota of free things by now? Other people want free things too! I hate that Becky girl. I don't know if it's the way she smiles when she doesn't know what's going on. Or if it's the way she makes jokes that people don't get. Or if it's the way that sometimes she matches TOO much (quilted jacket, purse and shoes all at once...). Or if it's the way that she just keeps getting free things. God, I wish I got free things. Are you there God, it's me Margaret? Yeah, Margaret. No. M-A-R-G-A-R-E-T. Yeah, right. I'm 5'5". Uh huh. OK. I can't believe God put me on hold'

But yes, it's true. I received ANOTHER free thing yesterday! AND, for good measure, it involves this very blog. My friend Mikey (who use to be my boss at my awesome internship senior year of college) bought me my own web address!

You might be wondering how that could be. I mean I already have a web address, but has a lame .blogspot.com address. NOW, thanks to mikey, I OWN: beckysaysthat.com. I'm a '.com'. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?! And people said that .com's were dead.

PUH-LEAZ!

Thanks Mikey! <3