Things I do when I'm drunk

Sometimes I drink a lot. Other times I drink too much. Other times I just have a few sips. In conclusion, I'm always drinking. I mean, what? No. No. That's not where I was going with this.

Anyway...

I drank a lot in college and did some silly things.

After I graduated and didn't have the same access to alcohol (read: my friends didn't live in the same apartment building as I did), and had to wake up early every day for work and bla bla. Excuses excuses. Point is, after my birthday blow out of a couple of years ago, where I walked around and told everyone I was single with no date to my OWN party and asked my friends to have 'meaningful conversations' with me, I sort of took my drinking down a notch. I learned how to get a nice buzz on, where I felt good, but didn't feel the urge to text everyone in my phone book, and didn't feel like dying the next day / didn't feel the urge to leave the country.

Enter SantaCon 2011 (it's an annual bar crawl in New York...and probably other places?...and participants dress up as Santa / in Santa-themed things...) where I was drunk by 4:00 pm, drunk texting like a fiend and was in bed by 9:30. And I threw up? I mean, no I didn't. To be fair, I didn't drink THAT much....just four beers at that one bar...uh...

I blame it on my tolerance being low. I blame it on the rain. I blame it on you? Anyway...the day after SantaCon when I thought about the previous days festivities I couldn't help but notice that my old drunk triggers had been in full force - but why? And what?

Things I do when I'm drunk

1) I tell everyone I'm drunk. For some reason, being drunk always seems to sneak up on me and catch me by surprise. I find it so surprising that I want to tell everyone. 'Can you believe I'm drunk right now? By the way, did I tell you I'm drunk? I'm drunk!'

2) I spill. Didn't do that on SantaCon but there's a reason that I favor clear drinks like vodka tonics and gin tonics when I'm hittin' hard alcohol.

3) I stumble. I bruise like a peach anyway, so being drunk / killing my liver so it's more likely that I bruise / stumbling into things makes for a good combo.

4) I text. I don't know what it is about being drunk...but if you're in my phone book there's a 1/10 chance that you're gonna get a text from me at some point if I'm wasted. If I haven't texted you yet, don't feel bad. I might have been hanging out with you. I don't drunk text people I'm actually with.

5) I get tired. The more drunk I am, the earlier I'm going to be in bed.

6) Take shots. Not a good idea. Not when I was 20. Not when I'm 26.

7) CREEP on the internet. I mean, no. That's gross.

Anyway, Happy 2012 EVERYONE! HOPE YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE (if your dreams include sending piles of gold to my apartment. thanks!)

Things I did this week

HI! I'm blogging from my bed where I am sitting in pumpkin pajama pants I got in 12th grade as part of a group costume. I wish I was lying or embellishing in some way. I'm not.

I had a bit of a busy week. Would you like to hear about it?

1) I left my old job. Yup. On Tuesday. My last hour of my job on Tuesday included an exit interview with my HDR coordinator (who half works in HR and half works in my old department...awkward much?) where I verbally shat for 20 minutes about my old job and then IMMEDIATELY went with her and the rest of my department to a party (WITH ICE CREAM CAKE! ICE. CREAM. CAKE. !!!) where my boss, who I had just shat about, fakely told me how great I am and how 'I'll be back' (still not sure what that means/I know she wasn't making an Arnold Schwarzenegger joke. Am I gonna going to get fired from my new job? Is she psychic? am I really typing out these questions? am I just stalling because I have nothing else to say? NO.).

After one of the emotionally diverse hours of my life, I got to drinking with some office peepz and went to Wharf Bar. Elana told tales of a drink called 'The Orange Crush' that she had gotten at Wharf Bar on a previous visit. I had three of them. Or wait...did I just have two? And a beer. A good group came. I was happy. Until I work up hungover and...

2) I started my new job! (Just kidding. I wasn't hungover. I hydrated when I got home) WOW. It is really interesting having a job you CARE about after having silly jobs for a few years (4 counts as a 'few' right? right? uh...). It is also really interesting to go to a for-profit place after having worked at non-profits. It is also really interesting to work with mostly non-Jews...

Anyway, it's going well so far! I really like my department / coworkers / boss. Also, the office is 3 blocks away from an H&M...and only about 8 or 9 blocks away from an Old Navy / TJ MAXX / Marshalls / Burlington Coat Factory so...I'll probably be homeless soon from spending all my money at those stores...luckily they didn't ask about 'smart saving' during the interview...

3) I drank! Yeah...I guess I drank a) on Tuesday to celebrate leaving my job and b) on Wednesday at

4) Mahjong! I hosted at my place and my mom came. NBD...it's just probably the coolest thing to ever happen to anyone.

5) and then c) with Brooke when I met up with her for drinks on Thursday. We were right next to a work / possibly school / how the heck else do young people who all look different know each other? happy hour which is always fun if you're trying to have a calm conversation and sandwich. The sandwich was really good btw...

6) Watched 'The Wire'...well, just one ep...I should catch up on that I guess...

7) Watched 'Parks and Recreation'.. Good god. That show is so funny!!!!! Remember how I tried to blog about it and then lost my focus in the middle of the entry (to be fair, I had written it over a period of days and was doing a lot of other stuff while I was working on it...like...you know...chatting and talking and Thanksgiving-ing and online shopping)...too soon. Yeah.

In conclusion, I guess this is some stuff I've been up to. I mean, not I guess. It IS some stuff I've been up to. Or wait, am I not supposed to end a sentence with a preposition? Let's try that again

In conclusion, this is some stuff I've been doing....

ok. Josh is coming soon to take me lunch. GTG BYE

I think I have dementia

A few summers ago Kate and I read this book called 'Still Alice' It's about a woman who's a professor at Harvard and develops early on-set dementia. Slowly Alice, who had been at the top of her professional, and respected for her intellect, begins to forget things. First, it's small things, like her keys. Then it's larger things, like her way home. After some time, Alice can't really be left on her own.

Sad story, but a good read.

Why do I bring this up you might ask...?

I think I'm Alice. Or rather, I know my name is Becky but I think I have early on-set dementia.

Take for example my last blog entry. I WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF BLOGGING, paused to go get coffee or gchat or WHATEVER it is that I do with my time, came back, and started to blog about something different. What? Who does that?

Or, take for example, yesterday. Kate and I were in the car with my lil' nephews / nephewitos. As we drove to my Aunt's house we played some songs...which I couldn't really remember the words to. I definitely made up some of the lyrics to 'Kiss From a Rose' by Seal. Kate couldn't really remember the words either but she just had babies / is slower than me.

The same thing happened when I was on my way to DC last weekend with Debbie and we were listening to 'Rent'.

And then on Monday I left my cell phone at work by accident.

And the other day I wound up in Newark when I accidentally took a NJ Transit train home instead of the subway!

JUST. KIDDING. Seriously?

In conclusion, I don't really know but that whole 'switching my blog entry in the middle of the blog entry' thing was odd.

1.5 more hours of work and then: lunch with Debbie and Jason and a MASSAGE! BYEBYEBYE

Things I like about 'Parks and Rec'.

OH GOSH. In addition to the cheese and yoga DVD / mat I got last week, I FINALLY got my birthday present from Debbie, too (did I say 'FINALLY'? she was sitting on that thing for.ever. FOREVVVVVVER) I gave Debbie a list of some shows I'd be interested in getting on DVD as a birthday present, 'Community Season 1', 'Mash Season 4' and 'Parks and Recreation Season 2' (The 'Mash' thing is a joke...though not a very good one. They can't all be home runs, ok?). Debbie opted for 'Parks and Recreation Season 2' as it is apparently her mission to get everyone to watch that and 'The Wire' (which I'm also watching...does Debbie run my life? hmmm).

I started watching it last Sunday and I am just about hooked (by 'just about hooked' I mean that I think about watching the show when I'm not watching the show and when I AM watching the show I think about NOTHING ELSE) WHAT A FUNNY SHOW!

I swear that in half (I'm being generous) of my conversations in the last week have talked about Amy Poehler / Leslie Knope as if I know her which is not weird and doesn't show that I need a life. The show's real, right? I'm not dreaming am I? Why are all of my teeth falling out? uh

Things I like about 'Parks and Rec'
1) Ethnic diversity. I know. I come from Connecticut. I didn't even see a Black person or an I-talian until I was 22. True story (no it's not). But, I appreciate sitcoms with more than just whiteys.

2) DONALD GLOVER. See above (too soon?). Wow. Donald Glover is really funny. Like, REALLY FUNNY. He has a nerd chic kind of thing going in on the show and I, as someone who is obviously not a nerd but loves them from afar, dig that. He also raps. And does stand up comedy. And he used to write for '30 Rock'. Case. Closed.

3) Follow through. So, there are a lot of shows that come up with ideas for plot lines and then...forget about them / don't follow through with them. 'Community' is not guilty of that at all. Take for example the plot line where Troy and Abed host a party at their new apartment. A pizza is ordered and the study group rolls dice to see who will have to answer the door when it arrives. Abed explains that rolling dice creates parallel realities...and the episode proceeds to play out each those realities...6 scenes where the door bell rings and a different character answers the door. See? In a world where a guy you go on four dates with can't even call you back, commitment is a big deal. Follow through is something to be valued and praised. 'WOO HOO COMMUNITY!'

4) Ensemble comedy. There aren't enough TRUE ensemble comedies, where each character represents a unique world / could have their own ACTUALLY funny spin off series, you know what I mean?

I'm not even kidding...I just realized in the middle of this entry that I switched from talking about 'Parks and Rec' to talking about 'Community'. You want to know how I realized? Because I sat back for a second and thought to myself 'Wow, I'm having a whole 'Parks and Rec' themed day. I'm writing this blog and then I'm going to go watch some more episodes. Wait...I'm blogging about 'Community' right now.'

I have to start a different entry now because it's kind of too funny to erase this, but I can't go back to talking about 'Parks and Rec'.

Things to celebrate

Quite often I am angsty about something. Well...I don't know if that's accurate. What do you think?...Well? UGH! WHY ARE YOU TAKING SO LONG?!

OH. How about that...

But, anyway. Yeah. Sometimes things are on bothering me. And sometimes I let those things compound...and then I'm just like 'Dear World, STTTTTTTTOPPPPPPPPPP. Sincerely, Becky'. This, however, is not one of those times.

Things are going pretty well on my end. I'd like to tell you about those things as one of them relates to the future of this very blog.

Shall we begin? We've wasted enough time already!

Things to celebrate

1) I GOT A NEW JOB! OH MY GOSH! I can finally go public with this news. YES. YES. A thousand times yes! (aside: what am I going to be like if I ever get engaged? yikes). It's a writing job at a corporate travel company. WRITING. TRAVEL. COMPANY (read: not a non-profit). Is this really happening? And my new boss really likes me? And thinks I'm funny? And smart? And wants to give me ownership of my projects? Not that my current job doesn't have those same features uh...I do get free health coverage now...? ?

2) I GOT A NEW LAPTOP! OK, so before when I was like 'One of the good things that's happened recently pertains to the future of this blog' you were probably like 'what?' and then you were like 'why am I saying what?' and then you were like 'what?' again. And then finally you were like 'How could something that happened to Becky recently, that's good, relate to this blog?'. YUP.

Well, now that I have a working laptop in my place of residence, I'll be able to blog a bit more because, you know, like, since I have a laptop, I can blog at home, even if I don't have time to blog at work. I can't make any promises...but blogging makes me feel pretty jazzy so...couldn't hurt to do a bit more o fit.

3) I GOT FANCY CHEESE! YES! It was my birthday a few weeks ago (awkward if you didn't remember, I know. I'm not too mad at you. Don't worry) and slowly presents from people I know are trickling in. Kate sent me a yoga DVD and mat (THANKS!) and last week Laura gave me an assortment of really tasty and FANCY cheese and a cute card! IT CAME IN A BOX

4) I've been reading a lot of good books lately / 2 out of 3 books that I requested from the New York Public Library website came in to the library branch by my office. YES. I really enjoy reading. I really enjoy the rush of shopping. I really enjoy when I am able to feel that rush from acquiring new things in an online marketplace without having to...um...actually spend money. P.S. the books are 'Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs' and 'The Camino' by Shirley MacLaine.

5) Pennsylvania! Well, this is more of a past tense thing but...I did celebrate Pennsylvania two weekends ago at the first annual PennsylvaniaFest weekend. Carly & Co. were nice enough to include me in the festivities. To sort of give you an idea, we had matching t-shirts, went to the Yuengling Factory / A CR@zY sporting goods store with like...every type of taxidermi'd animal in existence, ate a lot of cheese and ice cream and beer and perogies and danced. It was pretty epic. Did I mention the matching t-shirt shirts?

6) DC! I went to DC this past weekend (am I ever in NYC over the weekends? yikes) to visit my former coworker / friend (I guess...jk) Michelle. Debbie came, too. Well actually, it was more like Debbie made plans with Michelle and then I tagged along...I think? It was really fun! Michelle just got a new job so we were like 'oh does your new office have bla bla bla?' to each other while Debbie sat and poked out her eyes. We played with Michelle's adorable dog, Cooper. We went to GOOD STUFF EATERY and OYAMEL (Kristyn and Julia came and met us for that) and FOUNDING FARMERS and in between that gorging we went to a museum AND to the new MLK memorial and then to a BAR to celebrate Shari's birthday (Jason and Michelle...do I have to call her 'other Michelle'?...were there, too!). We are productive and awesome. CELEBRATION!

UM...I'm ending this entry now. But, see? I don't always just complain? Sometimes I celebrate, too. BYE!

Things I got for free today at work

OK. Enough of my catty fashion commentary. No one appreciates it and it's not nice. Bla bla bla thing bla. Blah blah blah thing blah (it looks like I'm repeating myself but you'll notice that some of the blas don't have h's and some of them do. Tricky)

Let's talk instead about my LOVE of free THINGS.

Well, this might seem obvious, but I love free things! It might be the Jew in me. It might be the non-profit worker. It might be the hoarder. But, if something is free (read: BIG Styrofoam avocado cooler from Christine's office) I will probably take it.

Well, imagine my delight when there was LOTS of free stuff in the kitchen for me to take today. Let me tell you about my wares...

1) Cup of coffee. Yeah, I know that's not really something...but...some offices don't even have coffee for their employees so it's not something I should take for granted.

2) CRAZY PINK and PURPLE birthday cake (yeah I'm talking to you Sarah). Not sure how I feel about it tbh

3) Holocaust Calendar. Huh. I do need a 2012 calendar...but do I want to be reminder of Holocaust artifacts every time I check the date? Is that a horrible thing to admit outloud? Yes. Yes it is.

4) SPICY CHEETOS. Hm. They're red. They're spicy. They make my hands dirty. I've still eaten about 50 of them.

5) ICE CREAM CAKE. I've had pieces of THREE different ice cream cakes since Thursday night. I think they call this being the luckiest girl in the world. When I ultimately gain 20 pounds from eating things like ice cream cake and bagel sandwiches on a regular basis I think that's be called being the marshmallowiest girl in the world but we'll cross that bridge when we...what?

6) Fantastick! Well, I didn't get it, but I did use some of this cleaning solution for my keyboard and desk today...and I didn't have to pay for it. Why did I need it? See. Above.

Things people are wearing

I'm quite the fashion plate. (It is 'plate', right? Not cup? or spoon?)

Sometimes I wear black and brown together. Other times I wear necklaces. Pretty much every day I wear make up. And then other days, I even wear pants that don't have an elastic waist band. New York has had a real impact on my sense of fashion.

As I walked around midtown east today on my lunch break (I would mention a specific location but THIS IS THE INTERNET and ANYONE could be reading this....) I stared at people in the hopes that they wouldn't notice me doing so. I noticed a lot of things. Apparently I'm not the only fashionable person in this city.

Things people are wearing

1) Clogs. Some of my coworkers wear clogs and they look really cute in them. But, should more than a few people be wearing them at any given time? Should clogs be a 'thing'? It reads milkmaid / nurse on the average bear.

2) Short boots. I think these are cute. I think these make people's calves look big but hey, we're all in this together.

3) Capes. Or are we calling them 'cloaks'? I support anything that's 'fashionable' and shapeless (read: allows me to eat a lot of cheese and cookies)

(This is a glorified snuggies. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. I almost said 'butts'. Whoops)

4) Pants that don't fit. No, I don't think that's a look for fall...but...it's happening anyway.

5) Braids. Braids are fun! I can't really do braids in my own hair because it's not long enough / has too many layers / makes me look 14 .

6) Jackets. I guess that makes sense...since it's fall. Fall? Capital L? Capitol L?

Now that I really have this list going, I realize it's actually a platform for me to make fun of everyone and what they're wearing as I sit at my desk with cheez doodle on my hand in work pants that are actually sweat pants.


Let me see if I can turn this thing around and maybe start a new list?