Dating and dealbreakers

HELLO. It's a cold yet sort of humid Thursday. The kind of day that makes you feel glad to be alive...or something.

But seriously, at least we're all alive right?

*Tap*

OK! GOOD!

I have talked about some things in this blog...and not talked about some other things. And mostly, I consider it a topical and light read. And for that reason, and because I have no idea who's reading this, I try not to mention too many personal things, and try not to compromise my safety and coolness.

What's that? I don't have any coolness to compromise? Harty Har Har. What, are you a comedian or something? *Brandishes a lead pipe*

Maybe you're right.

But something that I talk about a lot, and actually, you know, do occasionally, maybe not now, or maybe now, is date.

Dating can be fun. Do any of you date? I mean, for girls, it's an excuse to get gussied up and probably get a free drink (what's up, women's lib?). And for guys it's an excuse to wear that new shirt your mom bought you for your birthday.

And for both parties, it's an excuse to talk about yourself and have someone either a) listen or b) pretend to listen which is c) more than you can say for a lot of people. And you laugh, and you twirl your hair (again, I'm not saying that I'm doing any of these things...just speculating in general from things I might have done before or heard), and you get another drink, and you keep laughing, and looking around, and thinking 'God, I look so GOOD today'. And you check your phone because if you're smart you've told a friend where you are and also told them to PLEASE check up on you.

And you think 'I have a person that's interested in me, and they're cool, too. And I have a friend who's willing to text me to make sure I'm OK and not being cut into pieces and shoved in someone's freezer right now. My life is pretty good'.


But sometimes, if you go on dates, which I'm not saying I have or have not done recently, they're also horrible. Sometimes, the other person, might be late. Or sometimes they might be REALLY BORING (yawnfest20/yawnfest19---insert year that you went on the date). Or sometimes they might be jerks or b-bombs or k-words (no that's not really a 'thing'). Or sometimes they cut out and stick you with the check (this hasn't happened to me, on the dates I might or might not have gone on...but I've heard stories). Or sometimes, they could even be wearing these sneakers or these sandals, which, are my deal-breakers (I won't joke or divert attention from this. DEAL. BREAKER.):

Fig A.

Fig B.

Or sometimes, they just don't show up! Which, if they're going to be a b-bomb or k-word (no, it's still not a 'thing'), might be for the best. However, you can't say for sure unless they take the time out of their "busy" (but aren't we all "busy"?) schedules to meet with you.

Those things being said, punctuality, and planning ahead are two big things for me...when I'm dating...if I do that. And, I do date guys...but tried to keep the previous section pretty open just in case someone who's reading this has preferences that are different than mine.

I'd like to share with you the following message that may or may not have been received by me, now, or a week ago, or five years ago. Keep in mind, if this came, it was a day somewhere around Tuesday, Wednesday or Thursday.

'Hey, I can't say for sure if next Sunday will work. That's too far in advance, and I can't gauge what I'll be doing then'

OK. Really? This person is SO spontaneous that they can't 'gauge' what they will be doing in 10 days? Or more like, this person is involved in some Big Love-esque arrangement and can't gauge which one of his ladies he'll be with that day. Or more like, he's a tard. Or more like, really? Or more like, he's not the one for me...I mean, if this message had come to me...am I making myself clear?

What I'm trying to say is that dating, when you do it, helps you learn about yourself. And I have learned this about myself: a) I like to plan things b) I like people who like to plan things and c) follow through with them. I've learned more, too, but again, can't be too specific in here or compromising. And, it's lunch time and I kind of want to wrap this up before I go get my tomato soup on at Cosi (hey Hillary - *giggle*)

In conclusion, if you're dating, good luck out there! It's a stormy sea...

TRASH TRAIN - all aboard?

I went to school in DC. If you're not American, or well-traveled, or didn't go to college with me, then you might not know that DC, which is also the capital of the United States of America, has a public transportation system. I purposely didn't use an adjective in describing the DC public transportation system because a) what is an adjective? and b) I'm not sure how I feel about it.

The DC Metro

Pros:

1) Called 'The Metro', just like in Paris. Le swoon
2) Lines are named after colors = easy to follow, and pretty!
3) Tells you exactly when it's coming (which...they do on SOME subway lines now, but, they've been taking the guesswork out of commuting in DC for way longer than in NYC)
4) Clean = No skittles on the metro or else some woman, who is around your mother's age, will sass you and say 'You know, I don't care, but you can get fined for eating on the metro you know. If I were you I'd put that away', and then make you feel like you're 10, and getting in trouble.

Cons:

1) Doesn't run after midnight on weekdays, or after 2 on weekends. What if you want to stay out until 2:15?
2) See above about not eating. YUCKY. I am hungry all the time but in particular I get cravings for foodz when I'm moving. So, you expect me to be on a moving object, after a day of work, or a day of class, or a night at the bars, and NOT want to eat? Luda.
3) SLOW. It takes forever to get everywhere. FOREVER. EVERYWHERE.
4) Well, actually...not everywhere because the metro doesn't go many places.

That being said, as I've noted, The New York City subway is not free of sins. In fact, it has many bad qualities. It talks about itself all the time. It ALWAYS takes the first sip of a fresh can of soda. AND, there are rats. And, service is being cut and it's a billion dollars and blabbity blah.

But, none of these offenses hold a candle (that is a saying, right? 'hold a candle to'...hmmm) to the trash train. YES. THE TRASH TRAIN.

I learned all about the trash train when I went to the Transit Museum a couple of years ago with Kristyn...and then with Debbie & Co. (All the cool kids go twice). It's a train, that , well, picks up trash from the different subway stations.

Here's what it looks like:

Now, us New Yorkers (are any of you questioning the fact that I just called myself a 'New Yorker'? I am, too. I think it takes 10 years for you to be an actual, legit, knows all the good restaurants and bars, New Yorker...), are impatient. There's a way we wait for the subway to come. We look down the tunnel to see if there are lights coming. We wait to hear a 'click' on the third rail, signaling that a close-by train is on the rail. We look around for signs that might indicate when the next train is coming. And then, we listen for a 'A ___ bound train is approaching ____ station' announcement. Then we repeat these actions until the train we're waiting for has come.

And because we're also good at multi-tasking, we do all of these things while listening to our ipods, and reading our books, and playing games on our phones, and talking to our friends, and napping while standing up.

With recent service cuts (despite raised prices...did I mention that already? I don't care), it's sometimes necessary to repeat the 'waiting for the train' procedures 5 or 7 or even 10 times before your train pulls into the station.

Now, my train, the R, shares tracks in Manhattan with the N and Q trains. So, sometimes you wait for the train to come, and see one coming, and get excited, only to see and then realize that the train pulling into the station is not your train.

It can be heart-breaking. But, in a situation like that, it's best to man up and realize that while you are not on your way home / to work / out / whatever it is that people do besides those three things I just mentioned, other people are and you should be happy for them, or at least try not to hate them too much.

But what about when, hypothetically, it's Wednesday, March 23, and it's 11ish, and you're on your way home from Brooklyn? What if you hope that you can make your train before it stops running at 11 pm ( WOMPING WILLOW ), so even though you're on a train that can get you into Queens (or wherever it is that you're trying to go since this is all hypothetical), but is a 20 minute walk from your apartment, you get off that train, and wait for your train, only to realize that it's not running because you were a few minutes too late, so you really SHOULDN'T have gotten off the train you were on before.

So you woman up and wait for the next wrong train, knowing that it will be about 20 minutes, so you now have to a) wait 20 minutes to b) take a train that's a 20 minute walk from your apartment so you can c) walk that 20 minutes even though it's d) a work night and b ) around 11:30.

And finally, after some time, you see a train come into the tunnel. You see the lights glowing up ahead. You hear the click of that third rail. You feel a promise about to be made. You feel a breeze start to stir...

And then, a nasty butt train, with TRASH all up in it, rolls in, and sits in the station, making the wait for the train you don't really want to take but have to take even longer.

What about then huh? Wouldn't you be offended sharing air-space, underground, where air is precious with a train full of trash from the subways, which, has to be dirtier than regular house trash or work trash?

Yeah. You probably would. And now you know what it's like having a trash train surprise you late at night when all you want is to be home in your bed in your leopard print pajama pants that you got from Bob's Sportings Good Stores (all hypothetical still) in 9th grade.

~~~~~~

Dear Trash Train,
You are GROSS. And I don't have anything more to to say to you, except this: I hate you and wish you were dead or that you were instead a vacuum hose that could be extended from the street into the stations and suck up all the trash sitting in the garbage containers. Because then, you wouldn't be taking up my time by cruising along on my train's / the train I need to take now because my train isn't running 's tracks.

Sincerely,
Beck E.

Another live blog

Well, I got some work to do but then...I did it...and then my boss shut her door (presumably because she is in a meeting with someone)...so now I'm back to the blog. It feels so good to LAUGH AGAIN! 'Arrested Development' anyone?

8) I play scrabble on my phone (ADD ME IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY! I can promise that it will be a boost to your ego because I lose about 2/3 of the Scrabble games I play on my phone. You have a 2/3 chance of winning against me..those are good odds. If those were lottery odds wouldn't you play?).

And actually, I get to go home now. ON TIME. so this is donezo. BYE!

Another live blog

6) And then I chat with people. Well, not just 'people'. Like, people I know...duh! Because, if they weren't people I knew, then how would I even have them in my chat list? And I ask them questions like 'hey, what's going on?' and 'oh, so what'd you end up eating for lunch?' or 'when do you want to hang out?'. And then, it's the weirdest thing, because they all go idle or put their little red circles up to indicate that they're busy. Timing...must be timing. And then I send them smileys, and roses, and I mean, it really does take up a fair amount of time doing all this. So, if you're ever bored at work, I suggest gchat. It's spelled just like that in case you haven't heard of it.

*If you read the previous entry, or have an eye for detail, you'll see that I didn't space the previous entries in this list. But all of those entries were short, and without a space, it was readable. However, that last thing I wrote, about gchat (duh winning) was long, and would be overwhelming if placed right next to the next entry on this list so...I am adding a space. SHOVE IT.*

7) And then I make creature pictures of me, and people I'm chatting with. JK. I don't ALWAYS do that...but I did do that today. I started watching this show on Animal Planet called 'Must Love Cats' (anyone else? first of all, if you don't, you should. second of all, it has adorable cats, weird people, and a cute host, so, you should. third of all, I totally call dibs on the cute host, so you shouldn't) which led me to the Animal Planet website today. Which led me to the 'games' section of that website...and to the 'CREATURIFY' game. WHAT?

Yeah. You can take a picture of yourself and creaturify it...into like, a werewolf or zombie...and, the results are pretty clutch

Photo snapped today at work (by me...I don't have a paparazzi)



And, my creation:



Really awesome, isn't it? You should all make one.
I made one for Jamie, too...that could probably be a '8)'th item on this list, but, eh. And now I think I actually have to do something. So much for laying low...

A live blog

I've live blogged before. I believe it was two years ago...actually...almost three! My, how the time flies! The blog entries came on a day when I was stuck at my old office (BOO! HISS! *throws stone*), unable to attend a work event, that I had actually helped to plan. Awkward, no? So, I decided that instead of, I don't know, taking initiative and furthering my career, or doing anything of use to anyone, that I would watch 'Doogie Howser' and blog as I watched.

I think people read them? And if people read a blog entry of mine, I assume that means they're not throwing up (hard to read something and throw up at the same time, isn't it? Wait...have you really tried that cuz I'm totally kidding. ew. ) which means that it's good quality. Yeah I took a few leaps in formulating that hypothesis. I was never good at science (see - previous entry where I talk about wanting to be a nurse so I could wear scrubs but then also talk about how I am bad at science so couldn't ever be a nurse). In conclusion, I think those live blogs were good stuff.

And, wait...did I also live blog during election day in 2008? if I didn't, I talked about it with Debbie enough for it to FEEL like I did. Feelings are important. But not real. And don't ever forget that. Wait, no. I think they ARE real. UGH

So, today I will live blog for the last couple hours of work. I mean, not that I'm at work. I'm pretending to be at work. No. Wait. I am at work but I'm just pretending to work. This gets worse and worse, doesn't it? - that's what she said.

I've been lying low on the radar. Apparently, my boss is in gchat, and read my gchat status which says 'lying low on the radar - shhh', and is taking my wishes into consideration. VERY. SWEET. !!

So what do I do with myself when I am at work but not working. I mean, I'm working. Ha. Ha. Well, I do lots of things.

1) I facebook stalk people.

2) I online shop (sometimes for myself, and other times, for others)

3) I blog (OHHHH it all comes full circle, doesn't it?)

4) I log into my mom's netflix streaming and see what movies are available to stream instantly, and then write those movies on a post-it note (take that, paper!) (oh wait, the opposite of that. why didn't I just make a note in my phone? womps) and then share that post-it note with my friend who I'm going to watch a movie with tonight. So many choices!

5) and then I post my first live-blog entry, to keep the crowds at ease. Nothing like a rowdy crowd to make this complicated.

Things about the hospital

I started off this Monday morning with a little bit of online shopping. I have a fair amount of dresses (did you know that 'amount' only has one 'm' in it? true story) that are a BIT too short for work, so am looking for a simple tank dress, probably black, to wear under these dresses. Doing so would create a cool layered look, and also create a cool religious girl look. Cool girl. Religious girl. Say it with me now!

But then I decided / realized, that online shopping is probably something I don't need to do right now. I have this thing where I spend money as if I have lots of it. It's awkward for everyone involved. Especially the people I complain to about not having money. They're like 'Yeah, it's tough budgeting. BTW, I like your new Jimmy Choos and pearls. '

So then I decided / realized, that I should blog. Has it been over a week since my last entry? Probably. That seems like something I would do.

Well, it was a busy week. My mom and brother were in the hospital...hospital party and you're not invited?

I don't normally go to hospitals, or happen upon them...and until last Tuesday I didn't even know what a hospital was! That being said, spending time in one gets you to thinking.

Things about hospitals

1) They are very clean. WHOA. Who ever scrubs those floors and washes those walls (Cinderella?) does a really good job.

2) They have a random assortment of artwork. Well, at least the Yale New Haven hospital does. There are boats (So Connecticut-y it's not even funny), and autumn scenes, and...yeah. In terms of wall hangings, I hope that one day my apartment can be as full as the hospital.

3) They have candy - just about everywhere. SIGN ME UP. Oh wait. No. I don't mean that. But, it's never too early in the morning for a Werther's Original. Am I right?

4) They have unhealthy food in the cafeteria (I'm not including 'candy' in this category because a piece of candy is like, practically no calories). Does that surprise anyone? I mean...I just think of hospitals as healthy places...places where people come to be well. I don't associate fried chicken with eating well, and yet it was on prominent display in the cafeteria of Yale. And, what about all the cookies? And all the junk food available in the nourishment rooms? CON. FUS. ING. !!!.

5) Doctors are good looking. And, also, DOCTORS. I mean, a good looking person, is like, eh, whatever. I mean, I live in New York so people that are put together are a dime a dozen, here. If you look beneath the surface of these Adoni (the plural of Adonys? anyone?), you find that most of them live in apartments with 10 other people and are 'kind of in between gigs' right now, and you know, have emotional issues that prevent them from functioning like adults. Doctors though, they have REAL jobs, and show up to places on TIME, and like, save peoples lives!...and if in addition to those nice, dependable attributes they're good-looking, well, sign me up!

6) SCRUBS. I am jealous of all health care professionals in hospitals who get to wear scrubs all the time. Wearing scrubs to work would be like a dream for me. So, while I was waiting around, I contemplated becoming a nurse. Yes, a nurse. Because women can't be doctors, duh!

But, I am not good with 'the sciences' as I call them. And, I don't like touching other people who I don't know who I am not dating. And, I can be awkward, and have a tendency to walk into things (read: IVs...whoops!). And, did I mention that I don't like touching people I don't have crushes on? So, like...it probably wouldn't work out. Which leads me to another line of thinking...what other job can I have where wearing scrubs to work is OK? If you think of anything, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE let me know! Garbageman doesn't count.

Ask and Ye Shall Receive

HAPPY SUNDAY!

I am sitting in my pajamas, drinking abuelita hot chocolate, and ignoring the fact that it's raining outside. Luckily, I'm uploading pictures from my recent FL vacation on facebook. Also luckily, I received the following submission for my advice column:

Dear Becky (if that's your real name):

I have a friend visiting from out of town next week. She has come to visit a few times before, and we have conquered all the usual touristy stuff. I want to show her a good time, and I know that you are really into doing stuff, so do you have suggestions for us?

Sincerely,

Jaded New Yorker

Dear Jaded New Yorker,
First of all, good call on giving your self an alias. Everyone else who's written is has left their names blank, allowing me to somewhat embarrass them by making up silly names. Actually, they probably weren't embarrassed...damnit. Anyway...Thanks for writing in. Blah Blahbity.

I sometimes do things, and sometimes I don't. But, I do live in New York City, and when I do things, they're usually there. That being said, I think I should be able to help you with this situation. First of all, it's a good thing you've already done all the touristy things...because...touristy things usually involve lines, and waiting, and that's not a recipe for fun. And you probably want to have fun when your friend is here. That being said, I think you live in Astoria so why not do some fun Astoria/Queens things?


How about The Museum of the Moving Image? (I believe there's free admission on Friday nights) Or a trip to the Beer Garden? What about a night at Sweet Afton for some tasty beers and mac and cheese? And, if you're feeling really adventurous, I heard good things about The Queens Museum. There's a lot to be said for the Chinese food scene in Flushing, and let's not forget Sripraphai...our favorite Thai place out in Woodside.

There's also tons of stuff to do in Brooklyn (barf). You could do a bar crawl in Williamsburg (though, if you're feeling cranky or on edge, the hipsters might be too much for you to handle) or hit up the Brooklyn Brewery.

If you want to actually go into Manhattan, There's our old standby Shake Shack, in multiple locations. One of my coworker's also has good things to say about a Masonic Temple downtown that offers free tours at least on weekend mornings...not sure about weekdays. While you're in 'the city', why not go for some cheap margaritas at Blockheads and do some shopping by Herald Square?

I hope some of these tips are helpful! If not, go fly a kite! YEAH! THAT'S RIGHT! I SAID IT!

Thanks for writing in,
Becky