Things I like about money

As a Jew, I think about money a lot. OK, maybe that's not fair. Jews aren't the only people that think about money. Everyone thinks about money sometimes.

Haha, ok ok. I'm lying. We all know that no one thinks about money more than Jewish people. ! If a Jewish person were to write a blog about things they were thinking the entry would have something to do with a) money b) bagels c) lox and d) eating Christian babies.


Oh that's really awkward...cuz my 'Things that I'm thinking' blogs don't usually involve any of those things. It's like I'm not really Jewish or something...


Anyway, as if money weren't always on my mind, this morning I was g-chatting Erin and the following convo ensued:

Erin: I'm angry
Becky: Why? You never get angry. Is everything OK? This is really, really, really NOT like you...
Erin: No tengo dinero!
Becky: But why not?
Erin: *Sound of glass shattering in the background* I don't know. (Yes, you can now hear sounds on GChat...you didn't know that? Get with it. Also, since you're apparently REALLY behind Obama's running mate is Joe Biden. Yeah. From Delaware).


I told Erin that I would blog about her situation and about money. So here I go:

Things I like about money
1) Green. Green's one of my favorite colors...which you should already know since I mention that in every other blog entry.

2) Helps me to buy things. I'm not in debt yet, but that doesn't mean that I don't have a huge shopping problem. I can't go a week without getting some type of bonus item for myself (like my stuff from IKEA, or the sneakers that I ordered online about a month ago, or the dresses I keep purchasing from catalogues or the comedy club ticket that I bought this past weekend). Much like a car needs gas to keep running, I need money to keep my shopping addiction going.

3) That Abba song. You know the one that goes 'Money, Money, Money, must be funny, in a rich man's world...'?

4) Helps me to stay off the street. One of the best things I do with money is that I pay for my rent with it. As my prissy-ness rises to an unprecedented level, the reality that I would never survive as a homeless person rings strongly through my head and in my heart. Therefore, it's good that I have money and can pay my rent so I don't die on the streets. *Please note, I still think that I could take all of you in a fight so don't misinterpret what I'm saying*


5) No paper cuts. Have you ever gotten a paper cut from a dollar bill? I don't think so.

In short, I'm upset for Erin that she's not as rich as I am. How are we supposed to go jewelry shopping together if she doesn't have any money? And how are we supposed to get mani/pedis together and drink goldshlager if she's poor?

But seriously, I am sad. Really. I am. And that's why I wrote this entry about why I like money...to...um...mock her?