In case you're not very smart or can't actually read, I'm awake right now. Actually, that doesn't make sense. You wouldn't have been able to read that, either. SHOOT. What to do. What to do.
It's 9:13 on a Tuesday. Some of you might be asking yourselves 'Why is Becky complaining, AGAIN, about being awake? She's at work, right?'
FALSE. I have today OFF of work. It's the 8th day of Passover (not for me...I ate PIZZA and GARLIC KNOTS and BEER last night. Well, I didn't eat the beer...I drank it. That would be weird if I had tried to chew it. I think you can probably choke from that...um...) and since I have no plans until this afternoon, I should be sleeping.
And yet, I'm not. WHY IS THAT? Why does my body refuse to let me sleep? Why is my body such a douchebag?
Since I haven't blogged in a little while, and I can't think of anything else to do right now, let me try and work out this phenomenon with all of you. Actually phenomenon, in my mind at least, implies something AWESOME or GOOD. Being awake this early...when I could be...and SHOULD be sleeping...is not AWESOME or GOOD.Let's muse: Why Am I Up So Early?
1) Sleep is for suckers. I don't believe that on the outside. In fact, I think sleep is the bread of the soul (does that make sense? I can't really tell...being sleep deprived and all. Also, I only woke up two hours ago so...my mind still needs approximately 3 more hours to adjust to daytime). But maybe, deep down, I have beef with sleep and people who do it.
2) It's a beautiful day outside. Oh, I haven't actually looked out of the window or even gotten out of bed,yet...but maybe, I can tell, its going to be a beautiful day. Let's check weather.com...ohhh! High of 74 today. Some isolated thunderstorms MIGHT happen around noon, but other than that...b-e-a-utiful! My body's like 'let's get up and enjoy this weather!' Or is it?
3) I have something important to be doing. Maybe I need to cure cancer this morning. Or maybe I need to run some errands RIGHT NOW. Or maybe I need to be out walking the dog I don't have. Or maybe, I need to be writing a research paper for a class I'm not taking. Or maybe I have to go mail some timely information to someone at the post office. Or maybe...something else that is important.
4) Someone/Something needs my help with something/someone. Someone, SOMEWHERE, might need me! Maybe that's why I woke up! Little old lady tottering on the street corner, do you need an escort? Child who has lost his mommy, you want me to help you look for her? Plant in the livingroom, do you need water? Padma, are you starving again? (yes I wrote 'again'...long story...)5) It's too hot in here. I have my fan on and I feel OK...but maybe...I actually AM too hot...and that's why I couldn't sleep?
6) Joie de vivre. I don't know if I'm going to a movie tonight but it is technically French movie night at the Alliance Francaise...so in the spirit of that...let me hypothesize that maybe, my joie de vivre, is keeping me awake. Life is just so exciting, isn't it? I saw this plastic bag floating around in the air last night and I thought to myself 'There's so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I just want to BURST from it all. It's all so pretty' And then I said to my friend 'Hey take your shirt off. I have big eyebrows and want to videotape you'...wait...what?
7) Bugs. You all know I have a roach (just one...shh...) living in my closet. Well now, I have some weird millipedey type bug wearing my clothes. OK...not exactly WEARING my clothes but...crawling on my CLEAN laundry. How did you get in here? WHO LET YOU IN?! WE HAVE TWO DOORS! Anyway...maybe I woke up because I was thinking about this personal space intruder? EH...prob. not. Out of sight out of mind. GASP! IS THAT IT OVER THERE?! oh no. no...it's fine. That's just a piece of lint. GASP! AH! AH! IS THAT IT...oh...that's my shadow.
In conclusion, I don't know why I'm awake. But, here I am. And if you want to know, it's now 10:37 which means it took me over an hour to write this...ADD...what? who are you?
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