Other things that make me nervous...ACK!

TGIF, everyone. And yes, It's actually Friday while I'm writing this.

Oh...you might not know this but sometimes, I start a blog entry on, like, say...Thursday. And I don't get a chance to finish because I get distracted by looking at my iphone or gchatting or reading The State of the Union or looking at dresses for Jamie and Shane's wedding even though it's in 7 months. So um...yeah

(This is a current possibility, FYI...loves?)

But today is actually Friday. I'm feeling good about things. I'm heading home for the weekend to sit in my pajamas, get a massage, go to the symphony with Nana (true story) and possibly Kate (please come home!), and then have brunch with Nana and all my cousins and Josh and possibly Kate (please come home!).

I haven't had a massage in 6 months you guys. Life is getting rough. And my back feels like a loaf of Challah bread.

(Inappropriate on a baby bib?)

After my last blog entry a few of you commented that I seem to just have issues with public transportation. Becky, you said, So you're basically just anxious when you take the subway and walk outside?

No. Not really. I guess I didn't do an extensive enough blog entry. I'm anxious about tons of things! Not just transportation! The thing is, with the lists and all, sometimes I like to have long lists that are not as detailed, and sometimes I like to have shorter, more in-depth lists of things. I went for the second option in the last blog entry, but maybe, or definitely, I have more to say on the subject.

Other things that make me anxious

1) Counting change. OOF. Are you ever at the grocery store and your total comes to some ridiculous number like $45.63, and you happen to have 3 $2o bills, and then also 7 pounds of change in your wallet? And then you say to yourself 'This is an opportunity' so you open the change compartment in your wallet which is so full you're wondering how you even managed to close it, and you slowly count out some nickels and dimes and pennies, only to look up and see the cashier staring blankly at you.

And then you look to the line that's formed behind you and see looks of contempt in the eyes of the other customers and you worry that maybe they're going to jump you after you leave the check-out line. That makes me nervous.

2) Ordering at restaurants. I have a hard time talking to waiters and waitresses. In my mind, I sound like a perfect lady, polite and well-spoken, when ordering off a menu. In reality, I sound like a complete douchetard.

Becky's perception: Oh, hello! I hope you're doing well! Thank you for coming to take my order! I'll have the chicken salad (*author's note* - I'm obviously trying to give a certain impression by ordering a 'chicken salad' in this fantasy...anyway). Thanks so much.

The reality: OH H E L L O. I HOPE you're doing W E L L (as if I'm talking to someone who reads lips and can't hear, or doesn't speak English, or is slow, or whom I hate). THANKS "so much" for coming to take my order (asshole). I'll have the chicken salad.

Now, I wasn't aware of this habit until a few years ago, and I've tried to rectify my ways by talking to waiters / waitresses / servers (what's the PC term these days? American Indian?) as I talk to my friends...in a nice, calm, chill way. But it's still on my mind every time I put my menu down on the table and wait to order. It makes me a bit nervous.

3) Walking on ice. Most of you had heard this story, but I don't care about you. So for the people who haven't, let me spin you a yarn. I was walking home in high school, on a post-snow-y day (hey, remember when it used to snow like, once a year and then it was icy for a bit, and then it was gone and back to normal? yeah, me too. RIP those days), wearing adidas sandals and socks (I swear, lots of people wore sandals and socks in high school...ugh), walking down a huge hill, when I noticed an elderly man fall on a huge ice slick. He was about 50 feet ahead of me, further down the hill, and in my sandals and socks (I dress much more sensibly now...oh wait, no. That's false) , I was powerless to help him. What if I fell, too?

Now, whenever I walk on ice, I think of that guy, and I think of falling, and I think of people watching me fall, and I think of no one being around to help me. I fall on level, dry, surfaces all the time. And we're going to add ice to the equation? Really?

(Google image search 'icy sidewalks'. Results: ^)

4) Wearing heels. I basically never wear heels because they make me nervous. Sure, they look awesome and something about guys liking them and me wanting guys to like me or whatever. But, I just don't like being uncomfortable. I do my best to wear socially acceptable sweatpants whenever possible. Dresses made out of cotton. Pants with stretch in them. Jeans that are actually leggings in disguise. So, though I find heels attractive, I know, from having worn them before, and having talked to people who wear them, and having hung out with friends in heels, that those thingies are uncomfortable. I make a pain-grin when I am uncomfortable, so, apart from the fear of being out and about, and trapped in footwear that feels like a dozen elves clawing at my feet, there's the fear of my pain-grin and how scary I would look to other people.

Making a face like this:


Would negate wearing shoes like this:

(C8lin, if you read this...do you own these already? cuz they kind of have you written all over them)
No?

In conclusion, perhaps a third entry on this topic is to come. ENJOY YOUR WEEKEND EVERYONE!