The saga of the missing shopping cart

I'm sure you've all heard your fair share of tall tales. Johnny Appleseed who went across the country planting apple trees (on foot, no less) and Paul Bunyon a freakishly tall and very skilled lumber jack. Well today I'm going to tell you all another tall tale.

Only this one takes place during modern times and involves a shopping cart.

What kind of shopping cart, Becky?

Good question. No really, it was very thoughtful of you to ask that. It was a black shopping cart, purchased in the spring of 2008 (shutup) and assembled in December. It was about 4 feet high, and around 10 pounds. I had used it once or twice (ok, so perhaps I only used it once but judge not lest ye be judged!) and despite some slight handling issues it worked pretty well. The idea of wheeling things in lieu of carrying them is what made me get the cart in the first place.



+

=
The walk back from Stop & Shop is pretty enjoyable when you don't have to CARRY pound upon pound upon pound (you get the idea) of groceries.

So, the cart and I were on our way to forming a fast friendship. I spent many sleepless nights thinking about trips the cart and I could take together (I blamed the bags under my eyes of 'eating too much sugar before bed' or 'wearing heavy pajama pants under my covers', but those were all lies. ). Visions of sugar plums danced in my head as I pictured the cart and I heading over to Target together or taking in a movie at the local cinema. My life, I thought, was really looking up. Not only did I have plenty of plans for 2009, but I also had someone to come along with me and share the memories I prepared to make.

Fast forward to a cold, Sunday evening. I, with my new winter cap, had walked to the grocery store. I picked up some delicious entrees (perogees, pasta, chicken, cous cous and more!) and was feeling accomplished by the time I had wheeled my cart back to my apartment. But then, a problem presented itself. How was I supposed to carry the awkwardly proportioned cart, and my grocery bags up the stairs at one time?

I pondered.
I thought.
I cried.
I laughed.
I called my mom.

And then I made a decision: I would carry my groceries up and leave the cart at the bottom of the stairs. I reasoned that it would be safe. There were baby strollers at the bottom of the stairs and no one ever touched them. Oh, and there were obviously, because of the strollers, babies living in my little apartment building (ok it's more of a house, but shhh)...people with babies are peaceful, right?

Well, I was wrong. Because a few days later, after a full day of work, violins playing the background, tears streaming down my cheeks, homeless kitten in my left hand and two soup cans for the local soup kitchen in my right hand, when I arrived home, the cart was missing.

The violings stopped playing.
I dropped the kitten.
I threw the soup cans against the wall
I stopped crying and started scowling.

WHO WOULD DO SUCH A THING?! I mean, those baby carts sit at the bottom of the stairs all the time and did I ever think about taking them? Did I ever push them over or rought them up because they were blocking the pathway up to the stairs?

NO. And you want to know why? Because I'm a good person. Not a great person or an outstanding human being. Just a normal, average, somewhat crazy, good person. I vowed that by the time I got upstairs I would have formulated an action plan.

But then I forgot. Maybe I was hungry, or maybe I got a phone call, or maybe I got distracted looking through the mail. I really don't know.

The next day, I forgot again. And then I forgot AGAIN. I don't even know what to say.

But then, over the weekend, with my nose dripping down my face (I might be exaggerating...) , in my leopard fleece pants something amazing happened. I REMEMBERED my missing shopping cart and at the same time I vowed to do something about it.

Later on, I was having brunch with Deb, Dorfman and Erin and I asked them for some advice. I pounded on the table for emphasis and screamed at the top of my lungs!

Erin told me that it didn't matter WHO took it. Debbie told me that it was obviously a misunderstanding. Dorfman just sat and smiled. I suggested a few things: that I take one of the baby strollers and use that to wheel my groceries/laundry around, that I permanently steal one of the baby strollers, that I go from door to door in my building (with a lie detector test) and ask my fellow residents if they'd seen my shopping cart (ok the lie detector part is a lie but I really did want to go door to door).

We decided that I would write a note, leave it at the scene of the crime and hope for the best.

So, I did just that. The note was on yellow paper, lest it be passed over, and said:

HI.
I left my black shopping cart here and now it's missing.
If you know where it is, please bring it back.

Thanks,
Becky (the third floor apartment)

Within 15 minutes the cart was back. TRIUMPH!

The moral of the story:
1) don't leave your cart at the bottom of the stairs because even though there might be baby strollers there, really, ALL the time, peopel will steal it.
2) don't trust your neighbors.
3) even if your neighbors steal from you they'll probably, if prompted, return what they took.
4) leaving passive aggressive notes is sometimes a good idea.
5) sometimes Debbie and Erin do give good, serious advice.
6) shopping carts are awesome.

bye!

Not shopping, day 3 or is it day 37...?

Well, it is kind of hard not shopping on the weekends! I mean, today I could have walked up Steinway and bought myself all kinds of things. Or I could have gone with Jamie and Shane to Target and gotten a new shirt or a DVD or candy. And, I even could have walked around the lower east side after brunch and picked up a trinket or two.

But, I didn't. I guess it's good because that means that I have more money in my wallet. I guess...

I will tell you this though, snow makes not shopping a bit easier. It snowed today. Yep. SNOW. I mean, it is winter after all so it was bound to happen. But seeing the snow come down and the sky be all gray and what not made me want to hibernate and watch MTV all day. So that's what I did. Had it been sunny and more temperate I probably WOULD have gone to target (I have a gift card, OK?!) and gone shopping...

But because of the snow, I stayed in, took a nap, watched three episodes of 'Made' (why can't I stop watching 'Made'??!?!?! HELP! Except, don't help because it's a really good show and I probably want to keep watching it), ate some corn bread and then went over to Mara and Dave's for Mara's birthday celebration!


HI MARA!

oh, and hi dave. yeah, hey. um, what's new...yup yup yup. jk :)

and HI DEBBIE!

AND KATE (please don't call her Katie...we learned tonight that she hasn't gone by that since 7th grade)!

AND KRISTYN (I will see you in less than week! that's so awesome!)

AND ERIN

AND everyone else.

Goodnight Moon.

Goodnight Cow Jumping Over the Moon...

Anyway, next weekend might not be so easy. I might not have a birthday celebration to go to, and it might not be snowing so I might really, really, want to go shopping. Heck, I might even want to go shopping one day after work if I have a crappy day. But, one day at a time. This WILL get easier. bye!

Day 2 and I already want to buy things

I haven't even been NOT buying myself things for 2 full days and already I've been tempted to shop four times!

Jan Brett's four numbers: (I don't know who Jan Brett is but that's the name on the diagram)


Becky's four numbers:


First, when Piperlime.com sent me an e-mail announcing an upcoming sale/free shipping thing.

Second, when gap.com sent me an e-mail announcing an upcoming sale/spring preview/free shipping thing.

Third, when I walked by the thai place around the corner from my apartment and considered ordering pad thai for dinner...even though I went grocery shopping on Sunday and have lots of food.

Fourth, when I was walking home from work with Debbie and we were going to pass by H&M to get to the subway.

Can you believe it?! I hope that this gets easier. I'm sure once I get into the habit of not buying things it'll be a piece of cake...?

maybe? (*Kate* you like this cake wreck?!)

So, in lieu of buying myself things I wonder what I can do. I mean, I can't just sit here and NOT shop. I don't have will power like that. I need to be doing something. SOME. THING.

1) Get people to raise money for my work thing. You know the 'thing' that I told you about? If people raise money for this cause and then...something...I guess I haven't really thought this through.

2) Read books. Well, I've been pretty good about reading books lately. I read 'Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim' for family book club, and now I'm reading 'The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao' for another book club. And Kate got me a book for Hanukkah and Aunt Jane got me a book for Chrismukkah...so this is a viable option. Instead of shopping and being out amongst the citizens of the world and contributing to our failing economy I can sit at home, with my cold (yes I have a cold now), and my roomates (read: fansta gangsta) and read. HM....

3) Watch TV. I pay for it, might as well watch it! TOP CHEF here I come! Oh but wait, I already watched it for this week. Well, I have um...the new 'Real World' to watch and then those 10 episodes of 'Law & Order' that are sitting on the DVR queue. I'll think of something, don't you *sneeze* *cough* worry about me!

4) Volunteer? Eh...I USED to do that, but now...I'm just way too busy! OH WOW, I'm horrible. No no, I could volunteer...in fact I should look into that. *sneeze*

5) What do you think? No really, YOU...TELL ME. What can I do?

6) Blog. Blogging doesn't cost any money and I don't have any money so I guess blogging is a great thing that I could be doing with my time! blog blog blog blog etc.

I will continue this list later gators! I just called you gators! heheheh!

A few things

HELLO! I am mad cranky right now at work...counting down the minutes until I can walk outside in the rain, be cold, be crowded on a smelly subway, and then be home.

Actually, that sounds really horrible. Maybe I'll just retreat to the couch in the basement and live here for a while. I don't know if I can take outside...with its stupid coldness and stupid people. I HATE THEM. GOSH! Why are people so annoying?! Yeah, so I'm cranky. Only another 18 minutes or so and I can get the F out of here.

But first, let me tell you a few things that are going on.

1) The place where I work, which should probably remain nameless, is collecting money for some stuff in Israel. I think all of you, if not MOST of you at least, know who I am and know where I work...but for privacy sake...contact me if you're interested in donating a little money to a big indoor playground that we're building in Israel. I can give you our website info. and I can send you a link for a facebook page that we just made :)

2) I am NOT buying myself anything I don't need until March. YOU HEAR ME?! I am just spending too much money. And now that I lost the cell phone that I rented for my trip to Israel (that costs $100 btw) I'm spending more moeny that I don't need to. It's really annoying and frustrating to never save money ever. I used to be more disciplined but now every time I see anything (plastic, shiny, colorful, cheap, pretty, that I can wear to work, that I can wear on the weekends, that I think looks cute) I want to buy it for myself and it's just too much. I don't NEED anything...except maybe an ipod case. But besides that, I don't need clothes or accessories or any DVDs or books or anything. I am all set. So, I am NOT SPENDING any money on things I don't need. And, I am going to try to limit myself in terms of eating out and ordering take out. I can make food for myself at home. So there. THERE! Maybe I can even start brewing my own beer in my bath tub to save on that cost...! Except, I think that might be expensive and actually, I need my bath tub to, you know, shower and stuff.

UGH. Thinking about money isn't making me any less cranky

bye!

A letter to my internet

What with the current situation in the Gaza Strip and John Travolta's son passing away, you all might not be aware of another situation that's been engulfing MY life. You hear that? ME. ME!

I have been without internet in my apartment for over a month. I know, OVER a month. You might be confused. Do I live in a tent? Or, does my apartment not have outlets or something?

What could possibly be preventing ME from having internet? I live in @#$@#$#@in' New York City for !#!@#'s sake! I'm not exactly sure...so I thought I'd write a letter to my internet.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Internet,

Hello. Long time no see...No really. You haven't been working in FOREVER. WHY AREN'T YOU WORKING?! In this letter I hope to address the following points: Why you, the internet, aren't working, How I feel about you not working, Why I think you should be working, My views on a resolution to the current situation.

So internet, please, enlighten me, why aren't you working? It just doesn't make any sense. I consider myself a relatively sympathetic person. Sure, I don't always or even EVER agree with other people, but I can usually see their side of an argument and kind of understand where they're coming from. Again, I don't agree with them and inside I think they're stupid for not having my exact opinion and perspective on life, but I SEE their point.

But you, internet, I just don't see your point or understand what your problem is. I've had you before and we got along swimmingly. In my college dorm you worked without problems (though sometimes you got bugs...but then again, who doesn't get sick when they're living in a college dorm?) and later on in my college apartments you were always there. I thought we were friends. I, like Lauren Conrad, have lost friends here and there but you Internet? You're my Heidi Montag...I thought we'd be friends forever. It hurts that when I need you (to check my e-mail or read celebrity gossip or find directions to a place I'm going to dinner) you're not there for me. The truth remains you're gone...

But apart from the lack of understanding of your point/your problem, I want to just reiterate MY side. Maybe you don't understand why you need to show up and work for me. Maybe you just don't know why I deserve to have you. I should have internet in my apartment because: A) I'm paying for you (not all by myself, of course...who has THAT kind of money?!?!) B) You're all set up (cable modem, wireless router) and C) I'm PAYING for YOU D) Do I really need another reason for you to be working? You just SHOULD be working. FIN. That's IT!

In conclusion Internet, I have an appointment with Time Warner to fix you on Friday. If you know what's best for you you will SHOW UP and START WORKING on Friday. I can overlook the fact that you haven't been working for over a month, if you just START WORKING on Friday. If you don't show up and work I will have no choice but to send in ground troups and run a proportionate response.

Sincerely,
Beck E.

P.S. SERIOUSLY, WORK OR ELSE! YOU HEAR THAT?! OR. ELSE!!!!!!!!!!!! skank!

[NOT] about Dave

Dear Dave,
So you're actually reading my blog?! That's amazing! I reward my readers with personal shout outs...so here's yours! In response to your comment, I wasn't talking about you so there's no need to apologize. Though I guess the self-centered thing could apply...

How was the rest of your night on Saturday? Anything good? We just got some food and then went home. Why does the subway have to take so long at night? It's like I want to be home 15 minutes ago...not in an hour subway! GOSH! Stupid Subway!

Anyway, Hope you're having a good day! Talk to you later <3
-Becky

Some thoughts about New Years and Resolutions

I'm always torn when it comes to this blog.

Oh, but wait a second...HAPPY NEW YEAR! YAY! 2009! Can you believe it's already 2009? Doesn't it seem like just two days ago that it was 2008? Yeah, I think so too. Now that that's out of the way...


On one hand I want to just blog about what I want to blog about. Headbands, Gossip Girl, a random person I saw on the streets of New York, a funny/cool/crazy TV show I watch.

But on the other hand there's YOU. You know, the other person/people (besides me) who read this, who comment (sometimes, if I beg!)...my 'audience' if you will. Well, you don't always like what I blog about. Sometimes you're bored or you think that I could have done a better photo-shopping job. Sometimes the entries are too long or too short. Sometimes there are too many pictures or not ENOUGH pictures. Really, there's no pleasing you people!

So, do I ignore you and then watch via google analytics as my readership dwindles? Or do I appease you and sometimes blog about what you want me to? I really don't know. I think there's a whole 'in theory vs. in practice' battle here. In theory, I hate all of you and don't care what you say. But in practice, I want you all to pay attention to me.

Hate Vs. Vanity...


Anyway, Kate suggested that I do a little piece of new years resolutions. She said I SHOULDN'T do a list because it's too tangible...and my blog apparently needs to be more ABSTRACT (shout out to Deb for helping me come up with an antonym for tangible).

So, resolutions, huh? What are they all about?
I guess the first part of the resolution process is admitting that you're flawed in some way. Or, admitting that your life is not complete. There's something in your life that you would like to take away or add, and for some reason, January 1st is the perfect time to start.

So what's missing? Or, what needs to go away? For me these are always hard questions to answer.

What's missing:
1) Diamond jewelry
2) A kitten (oh yes, I still want a kitten! you can't take that away from me!)
3) A man. Yes, I really need a man. Why? Well, mostly to be alive. I hear that unless you have a man you're kind of in limbo, in a sort of half-life. I don't want to be half alive! I want ot be full-blown-100%-24/7 alive!
4) A job that I love. I do LIKE parts of my job, like the people, the internet access, the comfortable chair, the free food...but...
5) Did I mention that I want a kitten?


What needs to get the F out of my life:

1) The cockroach that I saw running around in my closet last night. Do I need to write another letter?
2) My passive-aggressiveness. It is kind of lame being passive aggressive. Not lame, but kind of lame (see? I can't be direct!). It's especially kind of lame when you realize that you're being passive aggressive and can't stop yourself.
3) People who aren't nice to me. So I have some people...that I know...who aren't that nice to me. They don't THINK they're not being nice to me, but their behavior and their words present a different reality. Sometimes they're needy, other times they're friendly and gloat alot. I don't really like that. Those people, though I care about them, need to stop being lame and should START being nice to me. If not, I think I have to get rid of them.
4) Milk. So I'm lactose intolerant and I find that when I have dairy I feel gross. It upsets me in more ways than you would care to know. Maybe in '09 I should SEVERELY limit my dairy intake. BYE DAIRY, catch ya later!

Those lists (sorry Kate, I had to do them-that's what she said!) are short and incomplete but they're a good start. So what next? How can I actually take these ideas and make them into a reality? How can I make my 2009 brigther?

I think a good way to start is via this blog. I love this blog, and think it could be a good tool for self-discovery and personal betterment.

Or maybe I'll just keep blogging about head bands and the movie 'elf'?


We'll see.