Bonnaroo or Bust

Well, I think I've finally settled back in to the big 'ol apple after 5 days spent travelling to / being at / and coming home from Bonnaroo (for more information on what Bonnaroo even IS click here: http://www.bonnaroo.com/info/information.aspx) It was a little rough at first, you know, staying awake and making it to work on time (EEP!). But, I spent a night in on Friday, catching up on TV and zoning out, and I feel like a million bucks (Canadian) now!

The whole 'Bonnaroo thing' was a step outside of my normal box, (Yes, I live in a box. This might surprise some of you since I seem so free and unstructured and creative. I mean, you're right. But, really, you must not know me that well. I definitely live in a box. A rainbow and glittery box, but a box all the same.) but when my former coworker / friend, Dan, asked me for the fourth time if I wanted to meet up with him and his friends in Tennessee, my resolve was broken and I said 'yes'.


The thing is, I've always wanted to go to a music festival. I've always wanted to be a hippie. And, let's face it, I'm not getting any younger. As it is, I find myself yawning and fantasizing about my bed when it's past 9 on a weeknight, and past 11 on a weekend night. I need a good nap more often than I probably should. So, I figured if Dan was going to go, and I could meet up with him, and I've always wanted to do 'the festival thing', and here was an opportunity to see some bands that I liked (Arcade Fire, Florence & The Machine, Scissor Sisters)...I should do it.

And then I waited....and no one wanted to come with me. Or, sorry, 'no one was able to come with me'...right? :p Somehow, after asking around, I convinced my friend Drea from AU to risk the trip with me. Later on, my coworker, Ben, saw via the interwebs that I was going to Bonnaroo and we decided to carpool together. OK. COOL. I had a group to travel down with, and a group to meet up with. I washed all my tank-tops and gym shorts. I was ready to go...but really, for something like Bonnaroo, can you ever really be ready?

Things about Bonnaroo

1) I didn't realize that by going back 1 time zone, I would actually be traveling back in time to 1966. Actually, to be honest, I didn't even realize I'd be going back a time zone until I saw signs for Birmingham and remembered gaining an hour when I went to visit Ashlee last year. But anyway...joints everywhere, people counting out mushrooms (because even though the website said 'No illegal substances' that was obviously just so the Bonnaroo organizers could have a clear conscience...and say, you know, 'for the record' that they told everyone not to be blazin' up at 9 am), tie-dye, nudity...you name it and it probably went down at Bonnaroo. My mom would have loved it!

2) The food was pretty good. I was a little worried about what would be offered at the food stands, but I partook of some tasty samosas and sweet potato fries and lemonade and soft serve...and let's not forget the magic and wonder of eating beer covered hot dogs at 9 am!

3) IT WAS HOT. OH MY GOSH IT WAS SO HOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT. I have this thing where in between seasons I forget about the seasons past. Like, for example, each time I get chapped lips in winter I'm surprised...as if chapped lips are some fluky thing when, in reality, they're something (it's something? there are two lips but I'm talking about the lips as a whole....hmmmm) that I get every winter. Same is true with humidity and hair frizz...

(I know this photo had words over it which is annoying but...it's such a good shot!! tee hee)

Well, I'd forgotten about what it feels like to be disgustingly hot. Tennessee reminded me. WOOF. Sweating through clothes at 9 am, when showers cost $7 and involve waiting in a line, is really not the best. Friends who had gone to Bonnaroo in years past warned me about waking up at 7:30 am because of the heat and sweating, sweating, sweating. It's not that I didn't believe them, I just couldn't tap into what it FELT like to be so uncomfortable and hot. BOW WOW

4) BANDS! WOW! THERE WERE SO MANY BANDS PERFORMING! Highlights for me included The Arcade Fire, Scissor Sisters, Florence and The Machine, Whiz Khalifa, Eminem, !!! (yeah that's a band name...how about it) and...others. However,

5) HIPPIES. This kind of counts under bullet point 1 but ARGHFEST, hippies are really annoying. You know, I used to think that hipsters were the most annoying group of people ever...with their obscure interests and aloofness. But now I'm second-guessing myself. Because hippies, especially hippies from my generation that wear tie-dye and smoke and lay around without actually believing in anything or supporting a cause, are a major wompfest. Maybe I just don't like groups with a 'hip' prefix. HIPsters, HIPpies, HIPpopotamus' (jk. <3 you guys). Anyway, the reason I bring this up in relation to 'BANDS!' is because in some cases, if you weren't all up in a band's personal space, and there were drugged out hippies standing near you, it was a bit hard to hear the music playing.

6) CAMPING. OH YEAH. I slept in a tent...nbd...or rbd? I used port-o-potties and drank water that smelled like sulfur for a few days. I am a bit prissy...um...maybe that's not true. I mean, I can rough it and make the best of situations. But, I do like my amenities...and prefer a daily shower and to straighten my bangs and to put a little eyeliner on before I leave the house. I mean, should those things not come to pass it's not like I'd die but...I'd be unhappy. Remember Honduras?

7) SILENT DANCE PARTY. OH EM GEEZ. Who wants to go to one of these with me? The idea is thus: a dance party where everyone listens to the music through headphones...so that to passersby the dancers appear to be dancing silently. SUPER FUN.

In conclusion, try everything once...but know your limits.

Planking is the new Icing?

Well, maybe not. But, let's put it this way. I basically live in a bubble that consists of work, gchat, beer and reality TV. Sometimes I hear about things (like Dennis Hopper dying...LAST YEAR. WHAT?! I just found about this last night. I checked the dates on this and I was in Israel when it happened...so I can kind of give myself a pass for not knowing that but yikes. I remember Rue McLanahan dying during that time, and a few people telling me...but seriously, people/friends/anyone who talks to me...if you hear of a celebrity dying or being on drugs or starting a new fragrance line or coming to my neighborhood, even if you think I know, LET ME KNOW! And especially if I'm out of the country, keep me posted. I would do the same for you...assuming I know the news to begin with...which...re-reading this sentence it seems like I won't but uh), but most of the time, I don't. And yet, I present myself as a functioning adult (who's wearing plastic shoes to work today...uh).

That being said, if a fad penetrates my bubble, and gets me thinking, I assume that it's the new sliced bread and that everyone knows about it and is into it, too.

You might recall that last year I was very into the idea of icing. My cousin told me about it, nonchalantly, not realizing he was changing my life, by saying that these 'bro-y' type guys he knew were into it. He implied it was stupid.

For the next few weeks/months/probably years when all is said and done, I talked with everyone I knew about icing. What it meant. How to do it. I got iced. I iced back. I did some soul searching and contemplated the lengths I would go to pull off a good icing (the USPS was involved...). I was happy.

Cut to 2011 and the new, I believe, version of icing. Or is it?

Have you all heard about planking? No, I'm not talking about yoga though...huh...it's been two weeks since I got my wisdom teeth out, and now that I'm back from Bonnaroo, I should probably go. Huh...I should...I REALLY should. But first, I'm going to go to this:

Well, planking is this thing where....AH...MIND IS FROZEN...let me find a source to explain it to you (it's just like being in college again) 'The lying down game (also known as planking,^[1] or face downs) is an activity, popular in various parts of the world, consisting of lying face down in an unusual or incongruous location. The hands must touch the sides of the body, and having a photograph of the participant taken and posted on the Internet is an integral part of the game'

WAIT A SECOND - is wikipedia (yeah, that's where I got this) really linking to an article about the INTERNET! IF YOU CAN USE WIKIPEDIA, it's safe to say you know what the Internet is! GEEFZ.

Anyway, I had heard about planking a while ago and saw some pictures...but didn't really get it.



For some reason (read: beer) , when we were out last night for the US AIR GUITAR CHAMPIONSHIPS (just like in my last entry, I'm shredding but you can't see...na na na na na), we decided that planking would be a good idea. MAN. IT IS REALLY FUNNY to try and plank. The idea of just lying flat down...especially when you're out in a public place...I can't really describe it. It's like when you eat a good doughnut...you just know you're in the right place at the right time...right? Weird example.

In conclusion, here are some pictures of us planking. Anyone else into this? (Yes, regardless of what you might have heard, or what I might have told you, I do, kind of, care what you have to say about some things. Maybe.) OVER AND OUT.

Can you guess who is who?

Be Who You Is...

...Or who you are? I was never really good at grammar. Well at grammar? Ugh.

I've had a busy few weeks, everyone. First it was work (UGH), then it was social things (YAY) and now I'm back at my desk, ready to share some stories with all of you. Except now that I'm sitting down to actually write out these stories...I'm not really sure where to begin.

Things that I've been up to:

1) CAITLIN came to visit! I mean...I ate some bad Chinese food and that's why I took that random Friday off. UH. My boss doesn't know what blogger is...Right? Am I gonna be fired?

We (hi, Brooke) had a full NYC day complete with viewings of 'The Real Housewives of New Jersey' at my apartment (note to readers: if you invite any of the NJ Housewives over to place for din-din, be sure to use your plastic flatware as they tend to pound tables when they're upset. Or, I guess you could set the table with your fancy stuff and walk on egg shells so you don't upset them? 'Yes those sequined leggings and your furry hoop earrings look great...um...uh...want more water? I mean wine? I mean, WHATEVER YOU WANT, I'LL GET IT FOR YOU! ! !'), a trip to Spice Market for lunch


(yes, it really looks like that! EEP!)

a stroll around Union Square, an afternoon Fro Yo indulgence (nom nom nom - 'tis the season!), and a trip to Arepas Cafe in Queens for the grand finale. Wait a second...so all we did was watch TV and eat? That explains some things...

COME BACK SOON!

2) MICHELLE visited! this was months in the making, let me tell you. Daily text messages, facebook pokes, gchat statuses and borderline stalkerish (kidding about all of this btw...or am I?) phone calls resulted in Michelle coming to NYC for a weekend (kind of...Thursday - Saturday) to 'play' with me (an aside: What do you all think about adults using the verb 'to play' when they mean 'to hang out' together? I think it's kind of weird... 'HEY! I'm free this Saturday! Want to play?' 'You mean go down a slide together? I'm confused.'). We basically tore NYC a new @$$hole by doing things like shopping in my 'hood, playing Mahjong (OH YES!), karaoke-ing in Astoria (where I gave not one, but TWO of my dirty looks out in a period of 30 seconds), and giggling in bed (tmi? don't EVEN think about taking it there)

Here are some pictures to prove this went down:

2) REBECCA WAS IN TOWN! Notice I didn't say she 'visited' because she didn't really come to see me...but rather, was in NYC for work. However, whilst she was here...there was a barbecue to be had (Thanks, Christine!), a fair amount of robe-wearing that went down (UM...YES! Rebecca was put up in a fancy hotel while she was here that had, in case you didn't read the previous sentence but somehow managed to stumble onto this one, ROBES!!!!!!!!!!!! I'll call the chapter in my autobiography recounting our sleepover 'A dream realized' because I've always wanted to hang out in a fancy hotel in a robe...preferably with a guy but...beggars can't be choosers / Rebecca is my girl?), we saw the Harry Potter exhibition (yes, it's called an exhibition) at the Discovery Center in Times Square that had bomb-ass things like Ron's BED from the movies and random cast members' wands (what would YOUR wands look like, dear readers? please share) and a fun, but irrelevant, basketball/quidditch game you could play (um yeah, I sunk all my shots...NBD).

And we brunched. Let's not forget the brunch.

So that fills you in on three weekends I had, not to mention (except I am mentioning it...ha) a pizza club thrown in for good measure, plus the US Air Guitar Championships last night (I'm shredding right now...if only you could see me), a couple happy hours and, you know BONNAROO (another entry to follow on that...for real).

Now you're all caught up. BYEMISSEDYOUKEEPINTOUCHXOXOXLYLAS

Things I like about mahjong

I left work yesterday with a coworker of mine. As we (awkwardly?) walked to the subway together (no it wasn't really awkward...except for when I tried to chase him off the subway...and he was like 'UM...you need to go one more stop to get to Times Square' and I was like 'haha! Well, obviously I'm following you!' and then the lady was like 'DOORS CLOSING'. OOF.)

I asked him about his evenings plan. He said, I think (I have a problem with listening...), that he didn't have any. Or maybe something about a concert or a food-tasting event? Or walking his dog? cat? ferret? (that's a rodent-like animal, Michelle...not a bird.) He asked me about mine and I said, with a twinkle in my eye, 'Oh, well, my friend is coming into town and then I'm hosting mahjong at my apartment'.


He seemed surprised. 'You play mahjong?,' he asked.

'Yup'.

'Do you do that ironically or something?'

'I assure you," I said, "that nothing I do is ironic [because I don't know what that means, exactly, despite having multiple conversations on the subject][these brackets represent words that aren't said in a conversation, but are implied, right?]

As I continued on my journey, I thought about how happy I was and how excited I was to be heading to collect Michelle, my alien friend ( don't worry - she gets it all the time), and to be playing mahjong (background: last summer at Jason's birthday party, Debbie and Michelle and Bri started talking about how their moms used to play mahjong all the time. It came to light that Bri and Michelle were in possession of mahjong sets. A few beers later and the three of them decided to set up a mahjong group. A beer later I had invited myself along because a) I like organized activities and b) I like games and c) I like planning things in advance and d) I was drunk).

Things I like about mahjong
1) Funny name. Mahjong. Mahjong. Mahjong. Keep saying it. That'll occupy you on a rainy afternoon.

2) Tiles. The feel of the tiles against your palm / fingers ( depending on how you hold them I guess?) is really nice. They're so square and substantial. They have pretty pictures on them. They make a clacking noise when they land against the table. You know? anyone? hi? h? ?

3) Snacks! Well...I guess snacks aren't an official part of mahjong, but in our group, they might as well be. From cheese plates, to pretzels, to homemade desserts and veggie platters...we take our snacks very seriously. It's nice sharing cheese with others because about the aftermath of buying a block of cheese and eating it all by myself. Sharing cheese with friends is better. Wait...am I still talking about mahjong?

4) I forgot to mention that we also have wine!

5) The game! Well, the game is pretty fun, and something that I like about mahjong. This might seem fairly obvious but, you never know. The game is strategic and involves passing tiles (see above) and using patterns and mixing tiles (also, see above)...it's kind of complicated, but the rush of a win! WOO! FORGEDDABOUTIT

6) The irony? No. I already told you that I don't know what that means!

7) My Jewish / Asian roots. Playing mahjong helps me to connect to my nanas of yore and allows me to prolong the lie that instead of being a 25-year-old SWF, I'm actually a 10 year old girl living in Shanghai. I like that.

A loss in the family

There's one main reason that I haven't blogged lately. But before we go into it, let's go back. Waaaaaaaaaaaay back.

I went to a magnet elementary school (yes, this is going to connect to the title of this blog post somehow). From my experience I can gather that a magnet school, elementary or otherwise, is a public school option, requiring a lottery selection to be able to enroll, and resulting in special classes like 'problem solving'

(where we did exercises like this:

FIG. A (what was handed out)


FIG B. (what I'd hand back)


)
and 'drama' and 'dance' alongside other, more standard classes like 'math' and 'reading' and 'gym'. At my magnet school (which was called Westover, in case you're curious, and had a mascot of a...Crocodile? or something? Alligator?...even though we were all too busy dancing around to play sports seriously/have a team) we focused on individual learning styles (um...mine was 'abstract random'...telling, isn't it?) and let's not forget the 'thinking talents'.

Kate, Josh, anyone else from Westover, if you read this, tell me if I got this right. So, we did these things in elementary school, I think to introduce and then conclude units, called 'thinking talents'. When we were younger (relatively, of course, since 5th grade seems 'old' in elementary school but is still young in the grand scheme of, I don't know, life?!) we'd sit on the colorful carpet and come up with 'many, varied and unusual words to describe the sun' or 'the rain forest' or 'poems' or things like that. The list, at the beginning of the unit, would usually be short, because, I mean, we hadn't learned about it yet! But, by the end of the week or two of rain forest themed learning, when we would revisit 'the thinking talent' list we'd generated, we'd have so much more to say! So, we would sit, in a group, and do it again.

Now, the reason I bring this up is because we're going to do a short thinking talent here. List many, varied and unusual reasons why I haven't been able to blog.

GO!

If you've talked to me recently, you might know of a certain SOMEONE, who has really been bugging me, who I see regularly...not when I'm out for fun or at my apartment...think about it...think about it...

Well, this person, should be at the top of your thinking talent lists because they're the reason I haven't blogged. I just...haven't had TIME! And the time I have had I've needed to just sit and be sloth-like so I can recharge the 'ol batterinos. Life is tough for me. Whine Whine. Wine? Yes, please!

Now, the real subject of this blog, has to do with a recent loss that I...didn't really 'suffer'...but...went through.

You might recall that the day after my 25th birthday party (NICKELODEON THEME - WHAT'S UP?!), I got my ears pierced. I got a third hole in my ear lobe, because, I WAS FEELING SO RECKLESS AND Cr@zY but also because my first and second holes were very close together which made it really hard (tear) for me to wear two sets of earrings at the same time, which, DUH, is the reason you get more than one hole!

Kate took me to Claire's, because even though I had celebrated my 25th birthday the night before, I was turning 16. The lady? girl? woman? (you know I have a hard time with that) was friendly and funny. We chatted as she dotted my ear for the prospective earring hole. I inspected her work in the mirror and agreed to the location of the piercing. I was wiped down with antiseptic (and pudding. too soon?), bam!, bam! and then done.

I was really happy with the piercings. They were in the PERFECT location and I mused about all the possibilities in life. I can do anything I set my mind to! I can be a lawyer! I can adopt kids from one of the Dakotas and raise them like they're my own! I can wear danglies, and studs, and studs, and STUD (I have one cartilage piercing) ALL AT ONCE! AH! EEP! EEK!

But then, I could tell, something was off. The scar tissue never quite went away from the piercing. And my ears were constantly getting funky (not in a good way if you know what I'm sayin'). I continued to clean them long after the 6 week acclamation period...hoping that if there was dirt or some type of infection inside I'd be able to take care of it.

But it didn't work. And so on Monday, I took the piercings out. By Monday night, they were closed up.

(Any move with Randy Quaid has to be good, right?)

So, now, I want to ask you to join me in a moment of silence for my long-lost, but not forgotten, third piercings. They were born with potential and hope. But, they got lost along the way and now we have to say 'goodbye'. I wasn't prepared for this. I don't know if I'll ever completely move on (but then again, what parent does?). But, I had to do what was right. I had to shut the door, close the holes (holes is kind of a gross word, isn't it?), and now I have to sink in my heels to deal with this loss.

I'll pierce again, but it will never be the same. A part of me is lost. Actually...that's not true. I did gain this weird bump on my ears where each of the piercings were...uh...why did I choose to include that and why am I not deleting it now?

BYE!

[insert thoughtful moment of silence here]

I won't let it be a month since my last post!

OH GOSH. I might have actually been too busy to write a blog entry this time...as opposed to just too lazy or preoccupied to write one.

WOOF - is that your girlfriend?

So, things have been, you know, going on.

I went to Bamboozle a few weekends ago. Didn't run into Ryan Gosling, but did have a bit of an existential crisis about how I'm too old to like the music that I like and how I need to find new music but where and what and who am I and what does it all mean?!

Mother's Day came and went. I did a family brunch/lunch in Astoria to celebrate. Wine cocktails are a new thing for me - nomz.

Caitlin was in town last weekend visiting from Espana. She brought me a Spanish love-witch figurine dealie that was blessed by a lady in her town. I'll report back on any changes that result in my day-to-day life as a result of the figurine dealie.

And now, here I am. My boss is going out of town soon (YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) so will have more time to write then.

xoxo

Why I want to be like Oprah

So, I've had some days off work recently for Passover (chag sameach?). MINI-VACA anyone? Well, except it wasn't EXACTLY mini-vacation'y. There was a lot of traveling in the car involved. And celebrating Passover makes me feel like a ton of bricks. Plus, I didn't get to sleep that late. And I went to the dentist and he wasn't nice to me. Does this seem weird to any of you:

So, I go to the dentist and...as he's prodding my mouth (that's what she said? did you think I was over that joke? FALSE) and spitting water in my face (the 'that's what she said' just gets better, doesn't it?)...I try to make a bit of small talk and say something like 'oh, are my wisdom teeth impacted?'...and he ignores me...and then, at the end of the appointment, he sends me to the reception desk

*(By the way, he was the receptionist in his own office...awkward?. I saw this guy sitting at the desk when I first walked in that morning. He took my insurance information, and wasn't friendly...shockingly. I didn't think anything of it until later on when that same guy came into my little room with a doctor's coat on. I was confused and thought maybe all middle-aged, white guys look the same?)*

to check out and as I get up from the chair he adds, casually, 'You have cavities. So you'll go get your wisdom teeth out and then come back here to get them filled.' He also called me m'am. I'm a MISS if ever there was one!

When did this turn into whinefest?

But, the time off, afforded me some nice opportunities. I was able to walk around and see TWO CELEBRITIES (OMG OMG OMG) on Tuesday, and also take an epicly long, 2 hour nap.

And, I was able to watch about...7 'Oprah'/'Oprah's 25th Season Behind the Scenes' show episodes. WOW. That is a lot of Oprah. And yet, I could totally come back for more.

Why I want to be like Oprah:

1) My last name is really cumbersome. I'd prefer to just have people call me by my first name, Highness, like people call Oprah by her first name, Oprah.

2) Sweatpants to work. Some of you have worked with me or DO work with me now. Or some of you just know me and understand that I have made it my life's work to be wearing sweatpants / getting away with wearing sweatpants at all times. Remember the infamous 'pajamas to work' incident of 2009? I still would say it was a dress and yoga pants but, whatever. Anyway, on her behind the scenes show, Oprah is basically wearing sweatpants all the time. And as she sashays around the office in juicy track pants, people bow down to her and give her no grief. AMAZING!

3) She said every day is like her birthday. Yes. On one of her behind the scenes shows, Oprah said that she's not big into her birthday because growing up she didn't celebrate it. However, now that she's an adult, and like, a billionaire, and has her dream job, and gets to eat whatever she wants (she didn't say those things explicitly but...it was implied), she feels like every day is her birthday. OH WOW. I love my birthday! Presents! Cake! An excuse for drunkenness / get-out-of-jail-free card for anything that results because of aforementioned drunkenness!

Sign me up!

4) She's the boss. I am kind of tired of being everyone's assistant and having to do EVERYTHING that EVERYONE tells me to do...regardless of how silly it is. I'd much rather be the ridiculous person placing demands on people (like Oprah). 'Let's all go vegan!' 'OK!'

5) She's rich. Yeah, money doesn't solve problems. It also doesn't grow on trees. And when you throw it on the ground it's called 'making it rain', which, makes it seem like you're an almighty and powerful being. That being said, couldn't hurt to have a little bit of it. Or a lot bit of it like Oprah.

6) She gets to buy people presents. Well, to be fair, I get to buy people presents, too. Though, I normally word it along the lines of 'have to buy people presents'...uh. Love all of you! YAY! When I buy people things, though...there's some budgeting involved, and I usually have to go out and pick it up myself and it's a one-at-a-time kind of deal. But Oprah, no way. She gets to buy people (yes, more than one!) presents all the time, and receive praise from the people she buys gifts from, and not have to break the bank while doing it. And she probably has other people pick up the giftS for her. LEISURE <3 Can you say 'living the dream?'. You can't. ?. I'll look up a speech pathologist...weird.

7) Everyone loves her. Well, not everyone. Hillary hates her, which, I think, is the definition of ironic though I, like Jamie, can't be sure. But most people love her. And when you love Oprah, you tell Oprah you love her. I might have secret admirers (probably not, but I like to pretend) which, I guess, is nice? Someone's out there potentially pining after me? (If you are, you should just say something but) But, does it do me any good if someone/something's out there thinking about how awesome I am but not doing anything about it? Not really. Write a song about me! Send me poems! Carve my image in marble! SOMETHING!

UM...this has taken an interesting turn. But, anyway...when people love Oprah they tell her and she basks in it. I would love to bask in the love of others for me as well.

8) Teaching. I'm not sure if I want to be a teacher, but it seemed like adding this to the list would make me less of a jerkfacepantz.

In conclusion, there's a slim chance of this happening but stay tuned!