Things I walked into yesterday

I was recently talking to my colleague Michael Gervais. No not the doctor Michael Gervais. Or the Michael Gervais from Sudbury, Ontario, Canada who's on facebook (Sudbury? really?). The OTHER Michael Gervais. The one who I'm helping to become #1 in 'Michael Gervais' Google search results. Look to your right under my featured blogs and you'll see. Geez.

Anyway, have you ever taken an online IQ test? That's what Michael (Gervais) and I were talking about. They're really hard! If finding out what your IQ is is so @#$@#in' hard, then maybe I'm not meant to know what mine is.

Anyway, yesterday was a pretty clumsy day for me. Normal days for me are very clumsy, so for me to specifically have a 'pretty clumsy day' you know it has to be something big. I got two bruises (that I'm aware of), and was just a little bit off.

Do you want to hear about it? Do you? Do you? Huh? Huh?

Things I walked into yesterday:

1) The side of my bed. Well, this is nothing really new...I do this pretty much every day. But just wait...

2) Someone on the subway. I do this pretty much every day too. And technically people aren't 'things' but just wait for the rest of the list...

3) A Chair. The weird part about this is that the bruise is on my ARM. I was bending down to tie my shoe and I moved sideways into a chair that apparently has a sharp corner in it/blade. I didn't know they made chairs that were corner-y enough to bruise but I guess I was wrong.

4) A doorway. Well, I didn't technically walk into the doorway. Technically the door closed on me, and the little door-stopper thing on the bottom hit my ankle. I thought it would be too much if I made another blog today called 'things that closed on me'. Anyway, OW that hurt!

5) Michael Gervais. Gosh, this guy is just everywhere. I stepped out of work yesterday, was minding my own business, and then there he was. Sure he looked sharp, and he was reading some smart kids book (he's in law school! Did you know that?), but for him to just stand in my way like that and practically FORCE me to walk into him is ridiculous! RIDICULOUS MICHAEL, RIDICULOUS!

6) Tom Cruise! It was right after my Michael Gervais spotting. I was like 'Gosh, I hope I make it home in one piece! I'm battered and bruised already...In fact, maybe I should call a cab. But, I don't have money for a cab. Maybe I should go sell some drugs then. Oh but I don't even have drugs! DAMNIT! This sucks!' and then there he was. I walked right into him.

That didn't happen.

7) The pied piper. He was like 'come along with me Becky! All the kids are doing it!' and then he played a little melody on this pipe that went something like 'doo deee dooo do do do do' and I followed him. I didn't want to, but he was just so polite. So polite that I walked into him.

8) You. Why were you in my way?

9) Ewes. What are ewes doing in NYC?!

10) Flight of the Conchords. I was like 'Oh hey Bret. Where's Jemaine?' and then Jemaine walked out on the stoop. And he was carrying this painting of him that I had made and I was like 'Are you throwing my painting away?' and then my husband, Doug, beeped the horn of our car and was like 'Can we go now, honey?' and then Jemaine looked kind of freaked out and was like 'Oh hey Mel'. And then I walked into him.

Oh wait. That wasn't me. I'm not Mel from 'Flight of the Conchords'

BAI