Some thoughts about raincoats

It's been raining a lot lately, hasn't it? I'm over stepping in puddles and having dirty city water on my feet. I don't want to have frizzy hair anymore, and I don't want to be wet when I'm not a) swimming or b) taking a shower (that's what she said). I don't want to frown at children and scare them because I'm unhappy that it's raining. And I hate carrying an umbrella.

Walking is hard enough for me as it is. I can be walking on a flat road, by myself, on a sunny day, not carrying anything and face plant...so imagine walking with an umbrella, when it's raining, and there are other people around, also carrying umbrellas. It's like some boring version of frogger that nobody wants to play.

TESTIFY!

That being said, I went to macy's last week, armed with a coupon, to pick up a rain coat . I figured I'd be able to find a nice rain coat...probably not at the LOWEST price ever but, again, you know, the whole 'coupon' thing so...

I love shopping and sales and being cheap, so I was pretty excited for my trip. But, when I finally made it up to where the raincoats are (8th floor at Herald's Square fyi), I was shocked.

I saw rack upon rack upon rack of...

coats. but where were all the rain coats? I saw some swishy looking pea coats and some sacks with zippers on them, but no real rain coats. I searched through different racks, examined tags and then I noticed something. Or rather, I didn't notice something that I wanted to be noticing:


Where were all the hoods at ?! Should I have called the police? The HOODS WERE MISSING!

Last time I checked I thought a rain coat HAD to have a hood? I mean, if it doesn't have a hood, and is button down...then it's just a trench coat, right? And, I already have a lightweight coat that I can use with an umbrella...I don't need to go out and buy another one. Contrary to popular belief my first name isn't actually "Money Bags".


I wasn't ready to give up my fight though. Sure, for every 1 old-lady-looking rain coat there were 10 other cute, young, "rain coats" without hoods...but I wasn't ready to compromise. I WANTED a rain coat with a hood. I have very special tastes apparently.

AN ASIDE: I just feel that if I'm going to spend money on a coat, to keep me dry in the rain, then I don't want to have spent money on an umbrella too. I like accessories (rings-<3 class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">Umbrella AND raincoat-stfu! I am not good at multitasking! How many times do I have to scream that out loud before the world will begin to hear me?


Finally, after celebrating 5 birthdays at Macy's and becoming pregnant and starting a family there...I might be lying...I found a coat. It was a London Fog coat, blue, with a hood. Not too $$$ and it said that it shed water. I figured that was all I needed, right? I mean shedding water means that the coat won't hold on to water...and that's a good thing. I thought.

Flash forward to Sunday morning when I was outside all day at Bamboozle in the rain. I was still excited about meeting Ryan Gosling <3 When I noticed something...


MY CLOTHES WERE SOAKING WET! NO, I wasn't sweating. I was WET from the rain! I couldn't believe it! I had searched and found this raincoat! It was my needle in the hay stack of the macy's coat department! How could it have failed me?!

I almost cried. But then I sucked it up and went back to bopping along to The Ataris or whoever happened to be on the stage at the time (that detail doesn't really matter, ok?).

In conclusion:
1) I returned my rain coat to Macy's and they put the money right back on my credit card. EVEN though I'd already worn it!

2) Rain coats should ALWAYS have hoods on them.

3) The fact that some rain coats DON'T have hoods on them is annoying to me.

4) 'Sheds water' actually means 'absorbs water into your clothes'.

fin.