Things I shouldn't do

I am strong. I am strong. I've heard if you tell yourself that enough it'll start to be true/you'll believe it. Well, even if I am strong...I'm apparently NOT strong enough to handle drinking 4 Blockheads margaritas in one sitting. I don't know what I was thinking on Tuesday night. I mean, Caitlin and I were talking about our facebook pets

and then Kelsy and I were talking about Argentina (pronounced Arr-hen-tina, duh)...and then I was asking Roman about 'the friend zone' (oh you know what I'm talking about, don't even. I said DON'T. EVEN. DON'T!)...

And then my 3 margaritas were gone! And then Caitlin couldn't finish hers so...I had to. I couldn't let it go to waste! There are teenagers in Queens who would have killed for the dregs of that 'rita, yo!


Well, let's just say nothing really BAD happened but...I did do a lot of unnecessary dialing, and talking...

I finally made it to artichoke though for a slice of their pizza. It was really good! But's let not lose focus

Things I shouldn't do:

1) Have more than two or at the most THREE margaritas in one sitting. GOD. As I told Jamie, my liver was probably crying this morning

LIVER: B-B-Becky...are you there?
BECKY: Yep. What's up?
LIVER: OH, it's YOU! I thought someone had done a coup and overtaken our body!
BECKY: UM...why would you think that?
LIVER: I just kept having poison poured into me...so much poison...one tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. It's so dark and cold in here...I can't do it anymore
BECKY: Isn't it 98.6 degrees?
LIVER: So cold...so...cold...


2) Drunk dial. Man. I really thought I had gotten over this horrible habit, but looking at my 'dialed calls' and 'sent messages' this morning indicates otherwise. A word of advice: if you ever get a text from me that involves the word 'happy hour' or 'margaritas'...assume I'm drunk.

3) Kill people. Oh, don't worry I didn't kill anyone last night...just my pride

4) Push little children. Sometimes little kids just get in MY way...and I try saying 'excuse me' but they don't listen and look, I have places to go! I'm a New York-er now! I've only done this a couple times, over a span of a few years...so don't shake your head quite so vigorously.

5) Step in puddles. I mean, who wins when you step in a puddle? The puddle loses some of its life force and you lose some of yours too. Wet pant bottoms/Wet feet/Slimy flip flips makes Becky a dull girl.


6) Steal. Unless I become a pirate in which case a girl's gotta make a living, ya know?

7) Blog at work. HAHAHAHA, I don't mean that.

8) Leave needles in my bed. SO, I had a piece of glass in my foot...and I tried to use a needle to get it out...and it worked. Except, then I left the needle on my bed...and it ended up under my comforter. Specifically, it was poking through my bottom sheet...resulting in me being poked during the night. I thought I was just crazy (well, I guess I still am crazy)...and that I had been traumatized from stepping on the glass. I thought maybe I was imagining it all. Turns out, I wasn't. Moral: don't leave needles on top of your bed...unless you're shooting up or something in which case I'd say, go for it. Follow your dreams.


to be continued