IT HAS BEEN MORE THAN THREE WEEKS

Have you been counting the days since my last blog entry? If you have you might have noticed that it's been, like, MORE than three weeks since my last entry. GEEZ! Sometimes I don't blog for a few days, or even a week, because I'm busy and/or lazy/ and or napping...but THREE WEEKS?? That's really unlike me. I could have been kidnapped, or chopped into pieces in someones freezer somewhere. I could have been sold into child slavery (more like 'young lady slavery' but you know). I could have changed my blog address! SO MANY THINGS...and you didn't think to call? or e-mail? or even @message me on twitter to see if I was ok?


Fine. That's not the point...

But you know what? I can't change your behavior (as much as I want to). I can only take responsibility for myself and my absence.


All I can say is that I'm sorry.
I never meant to hurt you like this. When we first met, I had the best of intentions. I just wanted to produce funny and awkward material for you to roll your eyes at or even enjoy. I wanted to be there for you. I told myself that I would be the rock you could lean against during the harshest storm. That I would be the blogger you could call late at night if you needed a ride home from a party because you're 17 and drunk and think that even though your parents say 'you can call me anytime. no really. please call me' they don't mean it because they'll definitely ground you and give you a moral whipping and who wants that after 7 V + Ts? or really at all? Parents aren't so lame...

You know what though? Something happened and after months and weeks and days and more weeks and more months we lost our spark. We had been getting along so well hadn't we? Remember when you commented about something I said that you liked and I felt good about myself? And remember when you sent your friends my blog link and they read it and told you how talented I was...I mean am. And then I checked my google analytics and counted all of you and realize that as much as I was giving to you you were also giving back.

I noticed our relationship start to disintegrate. Slowly you weren't commenting. No one EVER submitted pictures for the 'photoshop on demand' series I tried to get off the ground, and when I asked you about my latest entries you'd avoid eye contact and say 'oh yeah it was good'. I knew you hadn't been reading.

And then there was that night a flaming bag of poop appeared on my doorstep. It was WHOLLY unnecessary and really awkward for everyone involved but...what am I saying? We had drifted apart. You had moved on to other blogs like http://skinnygirlsbigsandwiches.com/ and http://upsidedowndogs.com/ and I had moved away from my computer. I had started exploring the world.

I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.

I'm SORRY.

Look. It's not you. It's me. I'm going through a selfish phase. I just have been busy, you know? Like last week I was in California (entry to follow) and then before that I was off being cool. But all the while, I've been missing you. And I know, without you even telling me, that you've missed me too. So how do we re-establish our connection? How do I get you to regularly check my blog again, and how do I get myself to BLOG. TO WRITE. TO EXPRESS?!?!

We just do it. Enough talking about it. Let's get this show on the road!!

Tomorrow. BYE!