Things that almost prevented me from blogging today

As some of you may know, I have my own blog (check it out: itsalltoomuch.blogspot.com). See, I don't post too much. I have had my blog for over 4 years, and yet only have 38 posts. For a little perspective, Becky has been blogging for about a year, and has posted 162 times (though to be fair 2 of those are my guest posts). Anyway, what I want to establish is that this quite amazing that I am actually blogging today as I am pretty much the most unreliable blogger around. In fact, they may revoke the privilige of allowing me to refer to myself as a blogger. So, I bring you today:

Things that almost prevented me from writing this blog:

1. Being me. Well as stated above, just me being me, this is an extremely hard thing to overcome. But look at me, I've growing (or more likely I was afraid Becky might cry if I dissapointed her).

2. Exhaustion. I did not get a lot of sleep this weekend, what with the constant partying (not like I am a youngin like dear Becky). On top of that, last night I laid in bed for hours, and didn't fall asleep until after 2am. This is unacceptable! I love my sleep. So, this made me tired, and being tired makes it harder for me to think, and thinking is sort of (only sort of) required for writing on this blog.

3. Israelis. Usually I, like Becky, prefer to do my blogging during work hours. It is a good procratination tool (not that I would EVER procrastinate) and generally gives me something to do during a long day. However, today I was being harrased by an Israeli who no joke called me 10 times before 1pm all for the same reason, and I had to explain the exact same thing to him every time. He is kind of obsessed with me, and I am awesome, so I can't really blame him. But seriously, you would have a hard time worrying about a blog if you had some little crazy Israeli stalking you. Luckily, he is now on a flight back to Israel, and so I should be safe for a little while.

4. Cold. It is freezing today. I don't know if anyone reading this is in a warm weather, but if you are, please know that I hate you, for reals. How can a person be able to function under these conditions? Is it even safe to be outside? Shouldn't like the entire world close down on really cold days (and for that matter really hot days). My name is Debbie, and I am running for Supreme Commander of the World on this platform.

5. Lack of ideas. I really could not think of anything I wanted to write about. Ideas I threw around were Things that Becky should blog about (well I really only had one idea for that list, and it was headbands) and reasons why I miss Becky (I figured this could go one of two ways, reveal a softer side of myself to everyone, and then you would all proceed to gag or me end up being sarcastic about the whole thing and upsetting Becky upon her return). Either way, too much risk involved in such a post. So, here I am.

This is where we must part ways, and I can go back to thinking about how early is acceptable for a 27 year old to go to bed. Happy Chanukah to everyone! May you enjoy a faitly insignificant holiday that is made awesome by the fact that you are "required" to eat lots of fried food - latkes and donuts.

What's wrong with this blog: an objective list.

1(!)

I'm new to this blog. It seems to be lists of things that don't really have anything to do with each other. Oh sure, you can always wrap some idea around the whole lot, perhaps, "This is a list of things!!!11one!!1" But who are you going to fool really? Well, me for starters, but I've caught on now haven't I, and so have all of you.

As this Venn Diagram clearly shows, a good blog post addresses a list of "things" that are relatively small compared to the list of all "things" ever. Gah!

Next problem.

2(!1)


And as we see HERE, the contributors to this blog should really learn to use Photoshop. How many Venn Diagrams have I seen on this blog hastily slapped together in Microsoft Paint? How indignant am I? (rhetorical)

3(!!!) I completely disagree with, and I'm going to make this number up, 90% of the things that are said on this blog. WHAT'S WRONG WITH SUCKING ON A MAN'S CHIN?
4(!!1!) I don't really get how Venn Diagrams work. As my erudite evil temptress girlfriend/wife famously said, "If I were to draw a Venn Diagram about how well I understand Venn Diagrams... I'm not sure what it would look like."
Truth be told, I married her for non-diagram reasons anyway.
See what I did there? I'm clearly winning this blog with my very PG-13 rated diagrams.

Things I would like to do over winter break

Hello, Friends. I agree with Erin, that in honor of Becky, I too will write a Beckalicious entry.

I have just finished my finals, and have no more school until the middle of January. Woot! I mean, I do have work and all that jazz, but there is soooo much more free time to tackle those projects that I have been wanting to do. So here goes.

1. Clean my apartment











I would take a picture to show you the absolute narstiness I am currently living in, but that might just be embarrassing for all involved. Suffice it to say, this is not a day long project. This may take a full week. Yum.

2. Learn to drink black coffee

I have tried to drink black coffee, and it always tastes horrible. But I feel like real cool people drink their coffee black. Like famous artists and writers. And it would be way better than constantly being on the lookout for that white powdery substance that I need, that sweet flavor which is proof that God loves us.


















Oh, my bad. This is awkward. This isn't what I meant.



















This is what I meant. Jeez, folks. We are talking about coffee, remember? And not necessarily Colombian coffee. Get it? COLOMBIAN coffee? Tee hee hee.

3. Go to Atlantic City

I've never been, and it's so close! It's a downright shame. Since the current financial situation has made a real vacay impossible (damn you, capitalist pigs!) it's nice to know I can take a bus and pretend like I am in a super cool place far away from my house (see #1). And I like gambling, and drinking, and shiny things.



















Ooh, shiny things.

4. Learn the Single Ladies dance

Everyone and their grandmother has made fan videos for this song. I am not usually a crowd follower, and I don't own a video camera, so I couldn't follow them even if I wanted to. But I would like to learn the dance. It just seems like fun, and once I learn it I could whip it out at clubs and be super cool.













Plus, I myself am a single lady, and since I don't understand all the words to the song which has become our anthem, I should be able to express it through dance. And honestly, I think it looks a little silly, and I like looking silly, so there you are.

5. Ride a horse

Now, we all know that my youngest sibling is spoiled beyond belief, and had opportunities to do things that I never, ever did. It used to cause a lot of tension between us, but now I quietly hold on to those years of resentment. Just ask her when she gets back about the N Sync concert. The one in DC. Unbe-freakin-lievable.

Anywho, my brother also got many more opportunities than I did. In case you were wondering, we each had our own rooms. This is me in my room circa 1986:



















It was downright magical.

Point being, my brother went horseback riding for years, and I got to see him on the horse. And see him pet the horse. And see him groom the horse. And see him ride the horse in a circle over and over. It looked super fun, and I want to try it.

If any of you out there are interested in joining me for any or all of these projects (#1 could be really fun, and if 10 of us pitched in, we could get it done in a day or two--just think about it), let me know.

Peace Out!

Erin's Guest Blog

so i told becky i would blog in her stead, but truth be told, i haven't even blogged in my own stead lately. (what?)

but, fair is fair, and i gave my word of sorts. so, in honor of becky's big return to the motherland, i give you

ERIN'S BLOG IN THE STYLE OF BECKALICIOUS

Things I Like About Becky

1. She is very expressive. I never have to guess what Becky is feeling because she writes it all over her cutesy little face. I like this because I am lazy, and I don't like guessing how people are feeling, and since Becky doesn't always say what she's feeling, it's nice to kind of gauge it by how tight-lipped she gets.

2. She is young(er than me). Becky is only three years younger than me, but it's enough for me to say smug and superior things like, oh, you'll get it when you're older, or you don't understand that reference because it was before your time. This makes me feel good, since she is taller than me. 

3. Her love affair with Hefeweisen. One time, Becky drank a whole pitcher of beer with a crazy straw, schooled nine college frat boys at flip cup, before sliding down her back to a sitting position on the floor because she was tired. It was funny. 

4. She's a great artist. Sometimes I benefit from Becky's artistic skills, like when she decorated my apartment for birthday prom last year. It was festive, and sweet (no, really, that was the theme), and I got to eat a lot of candy, which made me manic and kind of sick. So, hurray for feeling gross.

5. She has unpredictable taste in movies. Did you know that Becky loved The Last Unicorn from the moment she started talking through it (that's how she watches movies, but it's ok, because I do, too), but she did NOT like Big Business, even though it is a work of pure genius?! It's true! And she had never even SEEN the muppets until recently. How is that possible? She practically IS a muppet! 

Anyway, I like this because it spices things up. I like recommending movies to her that she ends up liking, and am surprised at the ones she doesn't like. It's a good topic for discussion every time.

6. She's forgiving. This is especially important right now, since I'm bored of writing this. Thanks for forgiving my short blog entry, Becky! 

The Usurper!

It is I, the sister of the one who writes this blog.
I, keeper of the password and writer of final exams;
I, waster of time and teaser of siblings;
I, guestblogger extraordinaire, am usurping this page to leave a message for my dearest Becky.


Dearest Becky,

I am so pleased that you are going away and I have been honored with a guestblogger spot, even though others are stealing a bit of my thunder by blogging as well.


I am proud of you for stepping up into a leadership role, for writing your own index cards about trees and swamps, for preparing a mix tape for a bunch of strangers, for searching for individually wrapped squares of toilet paper. I hope you have a fabulous time, that you remember to relax, that you remember to have a good time, that you remember to buy lots of gifts for your guestbloggers, since we do not demand an hourly wage.


And though I love you and want to send travel wishes of sweetness and light, really I am just avoiding working on these papers, so I will leave you with this final thought from Kurt Vonnegut:

I tell you, we are here on Earth to fart around, and don't let anybody tell you different.

or this one:

If people think nature is their friend, then they sure don't need an enemy.

or this one:

We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful what we pretend to be.

I love you.
PEACE OUT!

Have You Ever...

...Heard that song by Brandy called 'Have You Ever'? I have.

*AN ASIDE* I remember when it came out in 1999. I was in 8th grade and I had a crush on this guy and I used to listen to that song and think about him. When I was done thinking about him I would contemplate how deep my life was and how one day I hoped to 'love somebody so much it made me cry'. Isn't being a teenager so intense? I mean, you're such an individual and no one else, I mean NO ONE ELSE, in the ENTIRE WORLD understands you. Well, except your little teenager friends. They get it. But your parents, yuck...they just don't get what you're going through or what you're like or how HARD things are.


Last night Kate and I went to dinner and to a movie. Our evening shouldn't have been anything out of the ordinary, and yet...some REALLY odd things happened.
A) The restaurant we had dinner in was closed down by the department of health and hygiene while we were INSIDE eating. How crazy is that? A big yellow sign was put on the door and we were allowed to finish eating but no one else was allowed to come in.
B) This CRAZY hyena/tourettes/why was she watching a movie in public?, woman decided to see the movie 'Role Models' at the same time as us. Her laugh...makes my blood curdle. And, in the middle of the movie, she yelled out the word 'ding!'.
C) We had our office holiday party. Open bar, followed by going to another bar to drink, followed by karaoke at Dan's apartment. I had a good time. I laughed, I laughed some more. I played with Dan's dog...and then I went home. The next day I come into to work to find out that somehow our karaoke session was recorded. And, to make things better, Dan brought in the audio recording for everyone to listen to..and I was holding the mic most of the time...so it's mostly me.

So now, to celebrate the past few crazy days, I am going to make new lyrics to the Brandy song 'Have You Ever?' based on my experiences. Below is the video for you to peruse, followed by my new lyrics. ENJOY!

The Original Video:
My New Lyrics:

Have You Ever
(chorus)
Have you ever loved somebody so much it made you cry? (I had to keep this. come on!)
Have you ever gone to pizza cave to eat dinner on a Wednesday night?
If you haven't been to pizza cave you're not going now
It was shut down
While we were eating

Have you ever seen a film

Seen a film with your sister?
You'd do anything, to try and have a laugh
Have you ever had someone steal your heart away
When they laughed so hard that you wanted them to go away?
Have you ever tried to ignore someone laughing so damn hard?
But you can't ignore them
And you want to hit them hard? (or at the very least spit in their face)


(repeat chorus)

Have you ever sung karaoke with your friends from work?
You'd sing anything, as long as they give you a mic...jerks
Have you finally found the song you've given your heart to?
Only to find that song, actually makes you sound like crap?
Have you ever closed your eyes and sung like no one was there?
Only to find out that, your friend recorded you and decided to share?


(chorus)

What do I gotta do to not eat a place that gets closed?
What do I gotta say to make that lady shut up?
To make my coworkers understand how I really CAN sing
Gotta eat some pizza...

Gotta shut her up...


(chorus)


That's it for now. BYE!

Things I like about 'Gossip Girl'

Yes, my friends. The time has come. I've been watching 'gossip girl' and, well, gossiping about it for quite some time. Why not write about it?

But let's back up a first. Let's re-acquaint ourselves.

I'm Becky. *Wave*. I work in New York at a non-profit. I spend my time reading books of artistic prints, sipping red wine (shiraz if possible), antiquing, overpaying for vintage clothing, getting hair straightening treatments, hugging subway poles (if I, for some reason, have to take the subway and can't cab it), giving people dirty looks and overall being a douchebag. I try to be condescending whenever possible, or don't you know what that means? Con-des-cend-ing. It means that I'm SMART and you're STUPID. Or should I say DUMB? Stupid might have too many syllables for you. Anyway, I know we're going to have a great time together and if you have any questions about this blog or anything in general, well ask someone else ok? I'm really, really busy.

And you? How are you?

Oh yeah? That's nice. Oh really? At Macy's? I hear they're having great sales. Kate offered to give me a coupon but you know, what with the upcoming travels I don't think I'm going to have time to go pick out something for myself. I mean, something to give someone else. I NEVER buy things for myself. Also, I only shop at Sacks and Bloomingdales...so.

AHEM.

So, now that I'm ridiculed you and then convinced you that I'm crazy, let's start this list!

1) Blog. This is a blog. I like to read blogs. So why WOULDN'T I like a show that has a good deal to do with a blog? Blogging is just so amazing. It's the newest art form, really. You can write without having to have a book deal or needing to be published. You can write, really, without worrying about getting a good grade or having an audience of a certain size. That's so awesome. All the cool kids are blogging these days :)

(I think this picture might make fun of female bloggers, but it's funny, isn't it?)

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2) Upper East Side. Well, I WORK on the upper east side. I know, I'm very fancy. I wear a fut coat to work, regardless of the outside temperaturue, and I also have 104 strands of pearls. No more, no less.

So, it's pretty cool for me to recognize the streets where 'Gossip Girl' is filmed. **JOB PERK ALERT ** Not to mention the fact that sometimes, if I'm lucky, I can go SEE them filming on the streets! How cool is that?!

3) Head bands. Blair Waldorf, as in THE daughter of fashion designer Eleanor Waldorf, wears head bands all the time in the show. I also dabble in the art of wearing head bands.



They're just a great compliment to what you're wearing with a little bow or feather...MAN! When your hair is sticking out and it's too short to pull back in a pony tail or if you're 17 and trying to make a fashion statement in New York City what other options do you really have?


It's headband or look funny/be like everyone else (respectively).

4) Plot. I've been trying to get into shows with actual 'plot lines' lately. I mostly watch reality TV, don't get me wrong, but there's something special about an actual story line and characters that are developed. It makes me feel good to know that, if I try, I can watch a show and follow it from beginning to end. Granted, 'Gossip Girl' is really trashy but I have to start somewhere don't I?

Baby Steps.

5) Chuck Bass. When I first started watching 'Gossip Girl' I thought that Chuck Bass was really weird looking. I mean, I guess I still kind of think he is.

He has a big forehead and he slicks his hair to the side in that old man kind of way. But, I don't know if it's his patterned ties along with patterned jackets that got a hold of me, or if it's the fact that I know he's British in real life...but suddenly I find him REALLY hot.

He just...doesn't care what people think and doesn't match and drinks a lot. Maybe I like Chuck because he's the opposite of me. I care what people think of me (like you, you like me right?) and I match (sometimes to the point of excess) and I don't drink at all. Well, two out of three of those are true anyway.


6) Ridiculous. It just is, isn't it?