Things that have happened in the past few days

I seem to have a pattern when it comes to writing blogs. I write an entry, then I take a day off. Then I write another entry, and another, and another, and then a final REALLY funny entry. And then I don't blog for a week. I know, it shouldn't be that way.

Imagine if instead of taking a break and becoming not funny I actually kept blogging, every day. If I climbed a mountain of humor and cleverness...until...I became the next Kurt Vonnegut (I say that because I happen to find him very funny and I'm reading him right now and I want to be him and be clever and think outside of my box and be funny...um yeah.) or David Sedaris (I say that because I happen to find him very funny and I was reading him recently and...you probably get the picture? right? Oh, a 'picture' is a kind of visual image. Oh God. If you don't even know what the word 'picture' is then I have no hope for you. or me. or anyone!) or perhaps the funniest person in the world!

(This girl is the 'funniest girl in the world' according to google images. hm. doesn't look so funny to me...)

But I won't do that and I don't want you to think I am. I'm sorry.

Things that have happened in the past few days:

1) I left my hair straightener on. Yeah, so what? Well, I left it on...but then didn't realize that it was on until I reached my job. In Manhattan. Queens to Manhattan is annoying enough. Sure I play down the subway ride by saying 'oh it's only 20 minutes' and normally it isn't THAT bad. But taking a crowded Queens subway during the morning rush hour MORE than once is just un-Godly. What did I do to deserve that?


I know, I spit in that little girl's food last night...for no reason...and then there was that dead corpse that found its way into my hotel room during spring break in Jamaica but I thought that what happened in Jamaica stays in Jamaica. I mean, that's true isn't it? There's no law down there.
2) I saw a woman sucking a man's chin on the subway platform. I've asked a few people about this and no, this isn't a new fad-y kind of thing. People are not supposed to suck other people's chins. WHAT THE HECK?!

3) I had red mango. WOW. You would think that red mango would get gross or become less appealing in the late fall/almost winterish months. But no, it's just as delicious in December as it is in July. Actually, it might even be MORE delicious because there are no other people in red mango at that time so you don't have to wait in line and you can have any seat that you want!

(If you want to know how hard it is to hold apples to apples cards, a red mango sundae and be awesome at the same time I'll tell you. It's really hard. But also really delicious. That's what she said. I could really keep going. But I won't.)


4) I finished reading 'Cat's Cradle'. Wow. WOW! What a great book! I've read it already, at least once and possibly twice times (I know that's not correct, just keeping you on yo' toe-z yo!), but it just gets better.

5) Didn't watch an episode of 'True Blood'. Yeah, well...I want to watch one real bad!

6) I went to Kate's senior sermon. Where to begin...with the great sermon/lecture gave? Or the nice time spent with family and friends? Or the delicious pareve desserts (who knew that veganish desserts could be so delicious?)? Or the delicious/beautiful lunch?
(the restaurant was really pretty inside!) If that wasn't nice then I don't know what is.


7) I've gone to shake shack on the upper west side for dinner (twice). OH YES. I heard somewhere that if you're feeling a little too chubby lately and wanting to lose a few pounds before traveling to Israel the best remedy is to eat burgers and fries for dinner twice in three days, and to eat candy before breakfast and cupcakes and brownies before lunch. YEP.
For the record though, one time I went quickly and by myself and the second time I went with two friends...so even though it was the same food it was a different experience each time. Also I was wearing different things.