I'm in love pt. 1

Some people worry that I might grow up to be a crazy cat lady.

'Becky' they tell me, 'You really need to start dating more. You need to find love. Let's face it, you're heading the path of a crazy cat lady. Before you know it, and I mean this in the nicest way, because I care about you, and I know what I'm talking about, you'll be living alone, and your apartment will smell like cat food and no one will talk to you or hang out with you ever again.'

To which I respond with, 'But I really like cats...'

And they say, 'You can't get married to cats, Becky. Jesus. I tried to be nice about this but you're f-ing pathetic! Cats aren't going to buy you a BIG, 'ol diamond ring or take care of you when you're sick, ok? . In fact, the likelihood is that if you ever do get sick your cats will eat you...so please, put yourself out there ok? Find love'

I've been trying. I've been wearing little black dresses to work every day and red lipstick. As I usually wear sweatpants to work at least TWO days a week, my co-workers are starting to get pretty suspicious...but none of them are asking me out. Every day, after work, I've been going to a bar and sitting alone at the bar, making small talk with the bartender, stroking my martini glass and waiting for guys to approach me. The bartender is starting to get really creeped out.


I'm still not going on any dates.

After a few hours at the bar each night, when I'm feeling really low, I'll wander around to various rock shows trying to hang out back stage and maybe, just maybe, seduce a rock star. Even that doesn't work which is especially surprising. Rock stars are WHORES, man.

So, it's with a heavy, lonely heart, that I went to do laundry with Jamie last Friday. I hate doing laundry...well except for the time I get to spend with Jamie :)

I find it to be unsatisfying for a couple of reasons:
1) have to lug my crap
2) usually drop things so I have to pick them up
3) have to pay to do it
4) get very hot when taking clothes out of the drier
5) have to lug my crap, again
6) have to fold clothes
7) AND then put them away

This Friday, started out much like many other laundry Fridays. I rushed home from work...I was tired. I wanted a nap. And yet, I trudged on. Jamie and I loitered after we put our clothes in the washer, and then we went back for the dryers.

That was when it happened.

To be continued

The brilliant, bubbly, boisterous letter B

I started writing this last week, and then...you know...'life' got in the way.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

How'd you all like that last entry? It took forever to capitalize all those letter B's. I didn't know if I would make it. But I did, and you did...so all's well that ends well. Oh, no. This isn't over. Sorry. Did I say that?

Work is going by pretty quickly today. I took lunch and then immediately participated in a phon-a-thon to get some monies for workz. I got TWO donations! 1 from my co-worker's son, who he called, and put me on the phone with. My co-worker wrote the following words on a piece of paper and instructed me to say them to his son "you have to or I won't pay for dinner on saturday'. Very professional. The second donation was from my sister. I tried to shmooze her but she wasn't having it really. She kept asking questions and I was ike 'listen, are you giving me money or what?! i mean, yes, we can send you some lit-ra-chure'.

Let's continue talking about the letter 'B'. We started with my 'favorite things that start with the letter B'. Why not discuss my favorite songs with the letter 'B' in them?

1) MMMBop. OH GOD. IT'S TOO GOOD. TOO. GOOD. Those little, now big, girl-boys with their lusciousc locks, and angelic faces, and youngness (though they're all older than me, I think) beg to be loved. This song doesn't technically start with the letter 'B' but I don't technically care.


2) Baby It's Fact. You know, that song by HelloGoodbye? The one that's in the opening credits of 'Engaged and Underage'? You know, on MTV? You know, on TV? You know, TV stands for television? bah!

3) Baby got Back. TWO b's in that title and, to make it even better my name is in the opening! 'Oh my god Becky! Look at her Butt! It is so Big!'.


4) Bring in 'da Noise. Anyone remember this great NSYNC song? It was about basketball, I think. Oh and it wasn't great. It was actually really, really horrible. Gross. I might need to go throw up now.

5) Bye Bye Birdie. 3x the Bangin' fun here! Bye Bye Birdie...something something something...Bye Bye Birdie...

dooo dooo doo. It might be more helpful if I knew the words. I guess this isn't one of my favorite songs...but it does have the letter 'B' in the title and I'm kind of blanking on B songs right now.

6)...Baby One More Time. As much as you might try to deny it, I know, and you know, that YOU love this song. It's just infectious! Sure, you might scowl when it comes on...but then you're mouthing the words and you're dancing along to the 'duh duh duh' at the beginning.


7) Behind Blue Eyes. Two letter B's in there, and it's about having Blue eyes. I have Blue eyes! And I like The Who! Can you believe it? ! ! !

8) Blue Moon. You saw me standing aloneeee....what a classic. I named my 'new' bicycle when I was 12 'Blue Moon'. Me and this song go way back.

BYE!

The letter B

There are 26 letters in the English or 'Latin' alphabet (I almost said 'American' alphabet...that would have been embarassing). I would argue, being named Becky, and being on blogger.com right now, that the letter B is definitely in the top 25 of those letters (suck it Z!).



Do you think ever think about the letter B? Or words that start with the letter B?

Have you ever, for example, thought about how things like Brownies and Bagels start with the letter B, and how those foods are delicious?



Probably not. But that's why I'm here. I'm here to help you Broaden your horizons. Let's think outside the Box, shall we? Let's think about all the the letter B offers us and how great it is! YAY! Now that I think about it, this will be a series. Today's section of the series Being:

Becky's favorite things that start with the letter B

1) Myself. DUH, you had to know I was going to put myself on here. You had to. And if you didn't know that, then why are you even here? You're wasting my time


2) Brownies and Bagels. I know, before you say anything, I know. Bagels and Brownies are Both SO awesome that they should Be their own numbers on this list. I mean, can a day go wrong if you have a warm Bagel with fresh cream cheese in the morning? If you're lactose intolerant, that last statement assumes you would have taken a lactaid pill...because if you don't, and you eat that bagel, and wolf down that cream cheese...uh oh. That actually IS Bad news.

3) Banks. I like Banks Because they hold on to my money for me and um...sometimes give me stickers or lollipops. Sometimes, like once a year, they even give me interest on the money that they're holding for me. Sure, it's about $.32, But that's still more than nothing...or do you not know that either?

4) Brian. You know, the dog from 'Family Guy'? I think he's kind of annoying But some people like him...and I am trying to get 'some people' to read this so...


5) Break Time! WOOOOOO! Give me a Break, Give me aBreak, Break me off a piece of that...ahem...yadda yadda yadda. Like you don't know where I'm going with this. Fool.

6) FOOL! Haha, Fool doesn't start with a 'B'. But you know what things are awesome and start with the letter B? BRACELETS. OH MY GOSH. I don't wear as many Bracelets as I used to (mostly Because I wear necklaces and earrings now and I firmy Believe that you shouldn't wear earrings, necklaces and Bracelets all together. TOO MUCH. TOO MUCH!) But that doesn't mean they're not awesome.


Dear Bracelets,

You look familiar.

<3Becky<3

My mom told me that if I wanted to pick up guys I should go up to them, in bars and tell them they looked familiar. Does this seem dangerous/very 1950's to anyone else?

7) Blogs! I LOVE BLOGS!!!!!!! OH MY GOSH, don't you?! (If you don't say 'yes' then we're not friends anymore. So, if you're looking for an easy way to not be my friend anymore say you hate Blogs and fine. We're done. It'll be like you were never Born to me. In fact, I'll go to the town where you WERE Born and find your Birth certifiate in town hall and rip it up and then the whole world, including me, and other Bracelet-wearing, Bagel-eating, Brownie-loving people, will forget you.

8) Bridges. They get you where you need to go, yo.
9) Bubbles. Haven't you ever noticed that I'm kind of like that fish in 'Finding Nemo' that just keeps saying 'theBubblestheBubblesilovetheBubbleshehehehe'?

10) Bread. I tried the Atkins diet once. It kind of worked until I woke up one day and ate my weight in rolls. Or went to Ecuador. Either or.


1) Beads. OH BEADS. Not to be confused 'Beets'. And 'I love Beading' shouldn't be confused with 'I love Beating'. I don't love Beating people. I do love making jewelry.

(hmmm...this looks familiar...)

12) Bars. Oh I wish I was at one right now. The Bartender would say something like 'What kind of Beverage can I get for you miss?' and I'd be like 'Well, Bartender. I don't know what kind of Beverage I'd like. How about a Beer? What kind of Beers do you have here? Bllue Moon?'


12) Bedtime.

People who walk up subway stairs in front of me

WOW. CAPITALS AGAIN! YES! I can breathe...

This air is so fresh and good. Or is it well?

I've been planning this blog entry for a long time and am really hoping it resonates with people. ***Just in case it doesn't...and is in fact offensive to you...I'm sorry! I just have had this idea for such a long time. I had to let these ideas out of my head and into the world. I had to!*** This blog topic, though awkwardly worded, is on my mind a lot...or at least Monday-Friday at around 8:30 in the morning.

I am usually kind of lateish in the mornings when I go to work. I can wake up at 7, or 6:45 or 7:30...and yet I always find myself leaving my house at 8:05. I usually get the 8:12 subway, and after some stopping...I find myself at the dreaded 59th st. stop where the 4, 5, 6, R, N, and W trains go. (all my NYC peepz you know what I'm talkin' about here. Doesn't that subway stop suck?!). I look at my cell phone (yes, I have about 5 watches but all of them are flawed in some way so I haven't been wearing one lately) and see that it's 8:25. OK. GREAT. At this point I realize that I need to get off my train and catch THE NEXT uptown 6 local train to make it to work, one stop away, at 8:30.

In order to get to the uptown 6 train, I need to go up two flights of stairs from the N/R/W train platform. Two flights of stairs is really nothing...unless you happen to somehow, ALWAYS, NO MATTER WHAT, walk up the stairs behind the following people:

1) People with limps. Look...I understand. Sometimes your leg hurts, or you have a medical issue and before you know it the only way you can get from point A to point B is to limp. You try to walk, but you can't really. You never wanted this for yourself. You feel sad and ashamed about who you've become. And I feel sad for you too...but not sad enough to want to walk up the stairs behind you and be late to work.


2) People with heavy bags. I don't know WHERE these people are going, but they're taking a lot of stuff with them. And for some reason, they can't carry them. These bags don't have wheels and are just so frickin' big. As you can imagine, it takes these characters a long time to get up the stairs...and when I'm walking behind them (which I usually am) all bets are off.

3) Small women with baby strollers. It sucks having to bring a stroller down into the subway, then on the subway, then off the subway and then, finally, if you even make it that far, having to carry the stroller with your stupid baby (STUPID BABY!) up the stairs. I get it, kind of. But, I also get that it sucks to walk up the stairs behind you. IT REALLY SUCKS. Forget about your baby and think about me for a second. I didn't have your baby. I didn't buy your stroller. I didn't make you take the subway by yourself. So why am I paying the price for your slowness? Furthermore, and this has nothing to do with you, why isn't anyone helping you? Come on coordinated people/strong people...help a sister out! I would offer to help but you know, um...I have this thing...so...

+

=


4) People who aren't sure if they WANT to go up the stairs. So, we've all had those days, haven't we? You wake up feeling blah...you have a lot of personal/sick days at work...you don't NEED to come in...you totally COULD stay home and watch TV all day and relax...and yet you find yourself taking a shower, brushing your teeth, fixing your hair, getting dressed and before you know you're on the subway. Even though you don't have to be. Even though you don't want to be. You arrive at your transfer station...have to walk up a few flights of stairs to get to the other platform...and...you...just...can't...find...the...energy. You're tired. You're wondering why you're here. So you just, kind of, you know, stand at the bottom of the stairs. Some people are able to walk around you. They turn to give you a look that says something along the lines of 'having a hard time huh? that sucks. I've been there (past tense)...but I still need you to GET OUT OF MY WAY! (present tense). And yet others, like me, are stuck. Motionless. Behind you.

5) People who have never seen stairs before. I thought stairs might be an international kind of thing but it seems like a good deal of people who live in NYC have no idea how to use them...so...



6) People who are anti-stairs. I didn't even know that stairs were controversial. I thought they were just, you know, there. An easy way to get up to a higher ground without having to actually climb. But judging from the looks of discust and the slowness of people walking up stairs in the mornings, maybe there's some hidden angst I don't know about. Maybe stairs have hurt people or caused suffering in some way...? Or maybe people are just stupid?


7) People who are slow. Some people don't have an excuse. They don't have a medical condition, and aren't ignorant as to what stairs are. Some people, who I end up walking behind, are just SLOW. unacceptable!

In conclusion, I hope to not walk up the stairs behind #s 1-7 again. If you're a slow stair walker, for any of the above reasons, or even for another reason I haven't mentioned, just step aside and let us other, busy 'nyc types' rush by and catch our connecting train. It's ok to take your time...I guess...just don't let your choices affect me in a negative way. bye!

'A day in the worklife' drawings, pt. 3

Happy Day After St. Patrick's Day. I Don't Know If All The Words In That Sentence Needed To Be Capitalized, But I Did It Anyway. And I'm Still Going. This Is Harder Than You Would Think. No Really. It Is.

maybe now i will rebel and only do lowercase? do you think i can make it the whole entry? it might be hard...esp. because i have a thing about capitalizing the letter 'i' but i shall.

so did you all have a good st. patty's day? i think mine was a success because a) i wore green b) i went to the st. patrick's day parade and c) i got drunk. but mostly because i got drunk.

this is the last of my 'a day in the worklife' drawing series. i know how sad you must be. this is probably how you felt when you graduated high school or college.

you did graduate college or high school right? middle school? did you at least graduate middle school?

gosh i am so judgmental.

nice shirt, loser.

a 'map' of my bulletin board at my desk.

um...this is kind of self explanatory, no? if not, maybe you should really consider getting your ged and learning how to read before you continue along with this blog.

a pen, a paperclip, and a little pumpkin wind up toy i have under my computer monitor. well, the pen isn't usually under my monitor...it's usually in my pen/shit organizer but...i digress.

a little city scape, if you will (i mean, you don't have to but i would if i were you) :)


and finally, the piece de resistance (sorry for all the french in here but i'm going out to dinner at a french restaurant tonight and am very excited! since i'm still doing the 'no caps' thing i couldn't capitalize 'french' and 'very' in the previous sentence to emphasize my enthusiasm. it killed me a little bit inside. or a lot a bit.

stay beautiful, bye!

'A day in the worklife' drawings, pt. 2

Oh hello! It's me, Becky, again....

Yup...

Um...

So how was your week?

Uh huh. WOW. Really?

Um...

I guess I thought we had more to talk about but this is just getting really uncomfortable. I don't deal well with silence. Nope. I don't. Hi. Hi again. I'm still talking. Why can't I stop talking? What is wrong with me? I like your shirt. And you. And the sky. And cats. Haha. I love cats. They're so cute. Don't you like cats? I mean, don't you? You? Cats? Cats. Cats. Let's just keep talking...

Here are some more pictures from my drawing experiment:
A cruise ship and some random people drinking on the beach. Duh.

I had a cold one week, so I brought in some lemons to put in the tea I was practically DROWNING myself in.

Drawing hands is pretty easy and usually yields good results.

An orange I was about to eat, and my tape dispenser. MMM...to the tape dispenser, NOT the orange.

The Original...


And my creepy rendition.

More later, yo!

'A day in the worklife' drawings, pt. 1

Hello Everyone!
I came up with a fun blog idea about a month ago. What if, while I was bored at my desk at work, I drew some pictures , and then uploaded them to my blog? Since I am at my desk most of the day, Monday-Friday, and since I am so interesting, people, I reasoned, might be curious about my life experiences. In particular, people, I reasoned, might be curious about my WORK experiences. You all know what I do for funzies, but about what workzies?

I've shared my favorite TV shows with you and let you know why I like the things that I...like. I've filled you in on my busy weekends and vacations. But these are just words. And, these are just words that describe a certain portion of my life. I'm a working girl, and so far you only seem to know about the 'girl' part of me. What about the 'working' part? Furthermore, I thought, some of you might be visual learners. So what if instead of TELLING you, I SHOWED you what I'm seeing?

So, I drew and drew and drew and drew and drew. Then I kind of stopped for a few weeks and then I drew some more. Here are the some of the results.

'A day in the life' drawings, pt. 1:

Where the magic happens, they say


A care bear figurine I tried to draw. Debbie gave it to me. In person it looks much less like an old man who hangs out at parks to try and abduct kids. I swear



A carebear star that I drew to accompany the creepy care bear man
Isn't work just so much better with a can of DIET COKE TM?

A drawing of the file organizers that sit on my desk.

A drawing of the bottom of my computer monitor, complete with G-Chat boxes.

MORE tomorrow!