Things that are free

I was very excited this morning because...

Andrea visited over the weekend and told me that urbanoutfitters.com was having a sale with FREE shipping. I just went shopping Saturday AND Sunday...and I got a new dress, and a sweater vest thingy and like 54 pairs of earrings (give or take a few)...I was a second away from adopting a cat in union square...but Jamie and Shane are only out of town for a week...so that wouldn't really work long term. I digress.

So Andrea told me about FREE shipping at Urban Outfitters. AND she detailed a sweater (drapy, open, cardigan-y type sweater with short sleeves) that was less than $20 that I'd like. WOW. I was excited to log onto the website this morning (at work...because why would I waste my precious time at home online shopping???) and put some items in my shopping cart.

First I decided I want these shoes


And then these
(these lace up your leg---cool!!!)

And then this earring holder


I was chatting with Rebecca (who doesn't read this blog and therefore won't notice that I'm calling her out...YOU. GOT. SERVED. BIATCH!) and told her about the sale...we were pumped to buy our superfluous new items until...

...we realized that...

...FREE SHIPPING WAS ONLY FOR ORDERS OF $75 or MORE. WHAT?!

The website was set up like:

How was I supposed to know? That got Rebecca and I to thinking: What is actually FREE anymore? A guy buys you a drink and he expects you to make out with him in public (if he's cute this isn't a bad thing). Buy one item, get one free...but wait...you have to buy one item first. FREE shipping...if you buy some our shiz, first. FREE ice cream...but you have to print out a coupon (ink isn't free, ok??? and neither is paper).

Things that are free:

1) ????

2) .......

3) UM


If you think of any, let me know.