Things that are hard that shouldn't be

I think the title 'Things that are unnecessarily hard' would work better here, but I think 'Things that are hard but shouldn't be' is funnier…so here we are.

Actually, it’s more like ‘here I am’ because you’re not here with me. Well, maybe you are and I just can’t see you? That’s creepy. I hope you’re not here. I don’t want creepers reading my blog.

Lately, I’ve spent a fair amount of time thinking about things that are hard. Yes, that’s what she said. Say for example, you take the GMATs (like Jason. This is really a test to see if Jason’s reading…)…You know that’s going to be hard. No one breezes through the GMATs and is like ‘oh god, that was so easy…I could have aced that biatch with my eyes closed’. Yes, that’s what she also said. You have a realistic expectation of some upcoming challenges, but you embrace that truth, dig your heels in and get through it.

But what about things that are hard that shouldn’t be hard? You don’t anticipate the difficulty…so how do you deal with it? HOW?! Isn’t it enough that some things are inherently hard? Some things should just be easy, G.D.-it!

Things that are hard that shouldn’t be

1) Opening jars. If they sealed the lids on jars a LITTLE less tightly would someone be injured? Would diseases breed? I don’t think so. It shouldn’t take three people, a rubber thing, hot water and lots of energy to open a jar of tomato sauce.

2) Putting on duvet covers. SERIOUSLY. Anyone done this…ever or recently? I washed my duvet cover over the weekend and it was an adventure trying to get it back on. I had to line up the 4 corners of my quilt, make sure they were firmly in their places, shake duvet cover out…and then…practically CRAWL INSIDE THE DUVET to make sure that the quilt was resting soundly inside. I thought I might never come out.

3) Turning on the light. Well, in reality this isn’t a hard task…what with the invention of the electrical outlet cover and switch. However, in my apartment, we have one of those fancy dimmer switches. However, in my apartment, that dimmer switch fell off and now there’s a screw that needs to be manually turned if you want the light to go on and off. This is hard. This shouldn’t be.

4) Carrying groceries and opening the door. We all multitask don’t we? Right now I’m ‘working’ and also ‘not working’ at the same time. Right now I’m sitting but also looking at the computer screen. With this in mind, you’d THINK that multitasking in any arena is a good, easy, thing to do. FALSE. Just try carrying 10 bags of groceries to your place of residence (I would say ‘apartment’ but I know some of you live in houses and I don’t want to alienate you over a choice-of-noun. I’d rather alienate you with bigotry…anyway…) and then taking out your keys and opening the door. You’ve already figured out the perfect bag/hand ratio and now you risk losing it all. I always have to put one hand’s worth of bags down and then…everything falls apart.

5) Opening a bottle of soda for the second time. What exactly happens there? Why does the cap become impossible to turn? And why is the soda always flat?

6) Whispering. God, I am the worst whisperer ever. WORST. WHISPERER. EVER.

7) Saying no. I just want everyone to be happy all the time. Is that too much to ask? IS this too deep of a topic for this entry? Yes. Yes it is.