Things that make me look like a girl

A few weeks ago, Rebecca (who doesn't read this blog...feel free to throw things at her or, if you see her in person, boo and hiss in her direction) and I (who writes this blog...feel free to hug me and give me money if you see me in person) were talking about a person I had seen in a picture on facebook. To me, this person looked sexually ambiguous. So, the person had a 'girl's' name, and was wearing traditional female clothing, and, upon clicking on its profile (someone hasn't changeed their privacy settings...hooray! It makes me happy that some people are still slow on facebook and therefore allow me, indirectly, without they're knowing, to stalk them), saw that the person had listed its gender as 'female'.

Something just seemed fishy to me. She didn't look like a girl to me. She didn't have a particularly masculine/square jaw line, or bushy eyebrows, or an Adam's apple, or anything else that screams 'DUDE' to me. But something was awry.

I showed Rebecca the picture (which I won't put up here cuz I'm a bitch, but I'm not a horrible person) and she didn't agree. I think she said something along the lines of 'How does that look like a guy?'

I couldn't put my finger on it. Rebecca continued 'I mean, if I had a moustache I'd probably look like a guy'.

HMMM interesting. What makes me look like a girl and that ambigious person look ambiguous? If we took away facial hair and social constructs...do we all look ambigious?

I tested Rebecca's moustache hypothesis by creating the following picture:

(If you're curious about the bow, Rebecca really likes bright colors and random color combinations so...need I say more?). Yeah. We don't look like dudes here. We do look crazy though, so that's something.

HMM... So what makes me look like a girl then?

1) Lack of facial hair. If my moustache doesn't make me look like a guy, my lack of a moustache certainly doesn't make me look like a guy.

2) Facial structure. I do have a square face...but my jawline is not masculine. My lips, nose, eyebrows are also small and 'delicate'...
vs.



This guy's nose is more pronounced, his eyes are further set apart, he has a stronger brow line, bigger ears and a more defined jaw line. I guess those are the most noticeable differences between our faces.

3) Longer hair. I know this is stereotypical, but I also don't care. The fact that my hair is longer, in our society, makes me look more 'feminine'.

4) Boobs. Sure, some guys have moobs, but traditionally, some bumps on top = lack of a penis and therefore a feminine gender assignment.

5) Hips for childbearing. One day babies are gonna be flying out of those things like no one's business. One day.

6) Small hands. Small hands are good for holding babies, baking, and keeping your mouth shut. Last time I checked, guys had bigger hands than girls. And if they don't have bigger hands well their...you know...is probably...anyway

Can you guys think of anything else? I'm losing it. BYE!