Things that are wrong with my car (read: things I should probably fix on/in/near my car)

HI! Happy Tuesday! WOO! Are you guys all feeling good out there?! Are you?! I CAN'T HEARRRR YOU!!!!! what's that!?! I STILL CAN'T HEARRRRR YOUUU WOOOO!!



If you're happy and you know it clap your hands (clap clap)


If you're happy and you know it clap your hands (clap clap)

If you're happy and you know it then your smile will surely show it, if you're happy and you know it clap your hands (clap clap)!

The sun really does wonders for my mental psyche. Anyway, how have all you been? Uh huh. REALLY? She said that? God.



Oh me? You know, same old same old. My car's been kind of a pain in the ass lately...actually let me tell you about it.

So, I have this car. It's a '98 toyota corolla. red. tab locks. roll windows. A regular 'pimpmobile' if you will.


I've had it since senior year of high school and it's seen me through a lot (like, um, senior year of high school? and random summers at the Cape? and a few years of college? and now a few years of living in nyc?). It hasn't had many problems...(well, except for that time I got into a car accident while I was driving it and I had to get a new passenger side front door. OH, and that other time I dented someone's back bumper with it...and then that yellow pole in the parking garage um...) and yet, as time goes on, I notice that the 'ol tank is kind of falling apart.

Things that are wrong with my car:
1) Missing front mirror. YEAH...did I blog about this? Someone jacked the left front mirror from my car, while it was parked in front of my apartment. LIKE, LITERALLY in front of my apartment. WHO DOES THAT?!

2) Crack in the windshield. It happened when a rock hit my windshield when I was driving on the highway. It's been about 4 years and it hasn't gotten any bigger so I guess I'm home free?

3) Roll windows. They did technically come with the car...but I view them as a 'flaw' rather than a 'feature'.

4) Tab locks. See above

5) 'Fasten seat belt light' is always on. This started to happen a few years ago. It doesn't effect the mechanics of the car...and I know it's not really 'bad'...but I don't think it's good either.

6) 'Door open light' is always on. This started to happen a while ago, after I got into that car accident the passenger door of my car was dented in (don't worry, I was ridin' solo yo). I got it fixed, but then it started to go off again and at this point, who really cares?

In short, though I have four hub caps now (for a while I only had three), and my brakes don't squeal (for a while they did), and my license plate is firmly attached to my front bumper (just picture packing tape...and a dangling license plate)...my car is in need of some help. Maybe one of these days I'll get around to fixing it. MAYBE


If my car, as a large personal possession, is a personal reflection of me then I must look something like this:

Things I shouldn't do

I am strong. I am strong. I've heard if you tell yourself that enough it'll start to be true/you'll believe it. Well, even if I am strong...I'm apparently NOT strong enough to handle drinking 4 Blockheads margaritas in one sitting. I don't know what I was thinking on Tuesday night. I mean, Caitlin and I were talking about our facebook pets

and then Kelsy and I were talking about Argentina (pronounced Arr-hen-tina, duh)...and then I was asking Roman about 'the friend zone' (oh you know what I'm talking about, don't even. I said DON'T. EVEN. DON'T!)...

And then my 3 margaritas were gone! And then Caitlin couldn't finish hers so...I had to. I couldn't let it go to waste! There are teenagers in Queens who would have killed for the dregs of that 'rita, yo!


Well, let's just say nothing really BAD happened but...I did do a lot of unnecessary dialing, and talking...

I finally made it to artichoke though for a slice of their pizza. It was really good! But's let not lose focus

Things I shouldn't do:

1) Have more than two or at the most THREE margaritas in one sitting. GOD. As I told Jamie, my liver was probably crying this morning

LIVER: B-B-Becky...are you there?
BECKY: Yep. What's up?
LIVER: OH, it's YOU! I thought someone had done a coup and overtaken our body!
BECKY: UM...why would you think that?
LIVER: I just kept having poison poured into me...so much poison...one tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. It's so dark and cold in here...I can't do it anymore
BECKY: Isn't it 98.6 degrees?
LIVER: So cold...so...cold...


2) Drunk dial. Man. I really thought I had gotten over this horrible habit, but looking at my 'dialed calls' and 'sent messages' this morning indicates otherwise. A word of advice: if you ever get a text from me that involves the word 'happy hour' or 'margaritas'...assume I'm drunk.

3) Kill people. Oh, don't worry I didn't kill anyone last night...just my pride

4) Push little children. Sometimes little kids just get in MY way...and I try saying 'excuse me' but they don't listen and look, I have places to go! I'm a New York-er now! I've only done this a couple times, over a span of a few years...so don't shake your head quite so vigorously.

5) Step in puddles. I mean, who wins when you step in a puddle? The puddle loses some of its life force and you lose some of yours too. Wet pant bottoms/Wet feet/Slimy flip flips makes Becky a dull girl.


6) Steal. Unless I become a pirate in which case a girl's gotta make a living, ya know?

7) Blog at work. HAHAHAHA, I don't mean that.

8) Leave needles in my bed. SO, I had a piece of glass in my foot...and I tried to use a needle to get it out...and it worked. Except, then I left the needle on my bed...and it ended up under my comforter. Specifically, it was poking through my bottom sheet...resulting in me being poked during the night. I thought I was just crazy (well, I guess I still am crazy)...and that I had been traumatized from stepping on the glass. I thought maybe I was imagining it all. Turns out, I wasn't. Moral: don't leave needles on top of your bed...unless you're shooting up or something in which case I'd say, go for it. Follow your dreams.


to be continued

Things I bought today

Sundays are usually a pretty good day for me. Sometimes I run errands...which suck when they're happening...but make me feel AWESOME afterwards. Other times I sit in my apartment and watch TV all day with Jamie and Shane. Other times I hang out with my family...or friends.

Yes, I have some friends. What's that?

Yes, I might pay them. So what? I don't ask you about your business deals so why are you asking me about mine?! Snap!

Anyway, today I hung out with one my friends, Debbie. You might have heard of her. She's blogged for me before, and I've blogged for her too...and I've blogged about her. This is starting to sound obsessive...um...so...we went shopping in Chinatown and in Soho. It was really fun! The point of the trip was to get Debbie a purse for a belated birthday present. Keep that in mind as this entry unfolds.

I know I've talked about my shopping problem at length in here...but today I think I really outdid myself by buying AWESOME things that no one, and I mean no one, really needs. My mom would be so proud

Things I bought today:

1) Plastic flower ring. Oh yes.

figure A. the ring


figure B. what my fist would look like if I was about to punch you in the face while wearing the ring

2) Set of 4, plastic, Andy Warhol plates. They were only $1! I've always said that I would buy anything for a dollar so if these plates REALLY surprise you then you don't me at all...and that makes me feel sad. and then ANGRY!!!!!!!! and then guilty for having emotions...um...what?

figure C. the plates (not to scale)

3) 6 pairs of plastic button earrings. They were made in China but don't worry they're 'lead free'.

figure D. earring pack minus


figure E. earrings I'm wearing!


Contrary to my annoyed expression, I really am happy about this :)

4) 'Infinite Jest'. Debbie and some of her friends are taking part in this: http://infinitesummer.org/. Well, now I am too!

figure F. meant to convey how LONG this book is

Et finalement, la piece de resistance...

5) RED sunglasses. If you had told me when I woke up this morning (at 10, after going to bed at 4...WTF!) that by 4 pm I'd own a pair of big, red sunglasses I probably would have said 'what? sorry...I wasn't listening.' But then you would have repeated yourself and I would have said 'No way!'.

figure G. sassing it up on my couch <3

Look for this pic on myspace summer '09. Just kidding...I don't really use myspace anymore

In conclusion, it is 6:41 and I'm baking some chicken for dinner...but honestly, I could go to bed right now and be satisfied. Also, Debbie DID get an adorable plum colored purse and some hot aviator style sunglasses. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.

bai!

How Josh is like a pirate

Let's face it, I'm a bit of a publicity whore. I will appease anyone/pretty much do anything to get people to read my blog. Well, that's not exactly true. I actually don't do anything to make sure that people read this, except for tell them about it, e-mail them links to the profiles, print out copies of the blog entries to hand out to people on the street, put the link to the blog up in my gmail status, and advertise my blog link on highway billboards.

To be fair, you don't need to move to do any of that so are they really 'actions'?

Anyway, I was talking to my brother Josh yesterday and somehow the topic of pirates came up. OK, fine. I'll be honest for once...the topic came up because I'm obsessed with pirates. I could find a way to work them into any conversation. Are you happy now? I'm exposed and naked for the world to see!



Josh said he thought he was similar to a pirate, and I asked how. He gave me reasons, and then told me that if I didn't make this a blog entry he would never read my blog again and he would tell everyone else not to read it either and he'd hack into blogger and delete it and then...um...other bad things. *sob* Why am I such a bad liar?

How Josh is like a pirate

1) He's probably stolen something before. OK Josh, let's be real...'probably' stolen? I'm sure you KNOW you've stolen something before. I'm not trying to say that you're a klepto or anything, but stealing just happens sometimes. You walk into Saks Fifth Avenue, you try on a $500 gown and you walk out with it on...without even realizing? anyone?

2) He's sailed the seven seas. UM...I don't know if that's true. Let's think about Josh for a second...so he's flown over the Atlantic Ocean, been by the Pacific Ocean, cruised in the Caribbean...but that's a sea, right?

3) He likes rum. I've had some cuba libres with Josh over the years (that's a rum and coke, duh!), and as far as I can tell he's enjoyed them.


4) He likes treasure. Who doesn't? I mean....Josh has a particularly unique taste for rubies and gold coins and pearls and emerald rings. You know, it runs in the family.


In short, my brother is a pirate which makes ME a pirate by association. What more could I ask for?

Things I like about rain

WELL, it is certainly raining here in NYC! First of all, there were thunderstorms last night (somewhat similar to the 'raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens' scene in 'The Sound of Music'...minus the singing, and the Austria, and the Nazis, and Julie Andrews) which I managed to kind of sleep through. Second of all, it was misting as I walked to the subway in Queens...and POURING as I emerged in Manhattan (and this is what we call 'the best borough'? really? REALLY?!?!).

In honor of this wet, hair-ruining, sweaty-morning, why-am-I-not-sleeping?, where-the-ef-is-the-sun?, weather I present:


Things I like about rain

1) Good for plants/trees/environment. I don't really care about plants/trees/the environment but I know some people do and I want those people to like me so...

2) Makes it easier to take a nap. Normally I am plagued by a small sense of 'what if?' when I take a nap. Like, 'what if I should be curing cancer right now instead of taking a nap?' or 'what if I should be out walking around with a metal detector in the hopes of discovering pirate treasure instead of taking this nap?' or 'what if I could be out shopping and buying myself things I don't need instead of lying here horizontally?' etc. etc. But when it's raining, I know that there's absolutely NOTHING I would want to be doing outside/other places besides my bed

3) My rain boots. A girl's got to accessorize, OK?!


FIN.

YUP.

That's REALLY it. I HATE RAIN!

Queens and I are making up

Tonight I went out to dinner to one of the BEST Thai restaurants-Sri Pra Phai. I had delish pickled spare ribs, a crunchy water cress salad and some crunchy soft shell crab. OH, and let's not forget the coconut rice! (please don't tell the rice that I almost forgot about it. I think it will be pissed/holds grudges).

So, Queens is making amends. Sure, it took me two+ hours to do laundry on Sunday, and some jerk has my left hand car mirror...but who can even think of such things when their stomach is full of tasty thai?

Queens 15
Becky-12

Still in a fight with Queens

You might notice that my last blog entry has 234834 different fonts in it. I take that to mean that Queens still wants a piece of me...in which case I say: BRING IT ON !