Things I'm OVER

I have a feeling that my series of 'things that...' or 'things I...' will end soon because I'm running out of ideas.

But don't fear because I've already thought of a topic for today: Things I'm OVER (as in things that bother me therefore I wish they didn't exist anymore).

I'm OVER slush puddles. First of all, aren't puddles sucky? I mean regular wells of water in the middle of the sidewalk or in the street-who needs something like that? But at least regular puddles are unapologetic. They don't hide from you or try to pretend to be something they're not. Slush puddles, on the other hand, are deceitful. They look like slush, but are in fact puddles. They appear next to regular puddles so the average street-walker (read: me) sees them as a haven- a place where you can put your weight whilst trying to jump across a puddle. Stupid puddles. But the average street-walker (notice that I hyphenated 'street-walker' so you can't say that I'm referring to prostitutes. Or I mean you can, but you'd be wrong) would be mistaken and stepping on a mountain of slush would fall in cold, dirty, water. And would, definitely, get soaked. This happened to me on my way to work this morning.
I'm over SLUSH PUDDLES that pretend to be mountains of slush but are instead slushy puddles.

I'm OVER the post office near my apartment. It's on Broadway and 43rd St. in Astoria, Queens. First of all, they call up the next customers with a bell. I find this offensive. I'm not an animal! A simple 'next' will do! Second of all, they don't have pens by the windows so if you fill out a form wrong you have to get out of line, go to the little writing station, correct your mistake, and then get back in line again. And then you have to be called up with a bell, again. And their employees aren't friendly and are nosy. 'This is awfully thick for a letter'-wink wink. UM-it's none of your beeswax what I'm mailing, lady! Third of all, I think they overcharged me when I mailed my package to Honduras yesterday.

I'm OVER the baby that lives under me. Don't read that last line literally. I don't sleep on a baby (though I did used to have 'sitting on babies' as my away message when I babysat in college...anyway...). But there is a baby that inhabits the room below my room in my apartment. And this baby cries. And this baby wakes me up in the middle of the night. I don't wake up for very long-just long enough to curse the child (he? she?), roll over, and fall back asleep. Still, I'm OVER it.

I'm OVER weather. I guess it's an important 'thing' 'phenomenon' 'natural occurence' but it still makes things difficult. (See a previous entry where I mentioned cold WIND blowing into my bedroom, and read a previous paragraph where I talk about rain/snow induced slush puddles). I want sun and perhaps, for the plants, one day of rain a month. And maybe one day of snow a year (so I can make a snow man).

I'm OVER commercials. I don't want to be sold anything! I buy enough stuff, without people selling to me, as it is. I go shopping at least once a week-for food, for stamps, for food stamps, for shoes, for clothes, for purses, for accessories to go with my shoes/purses/clothes and none of these shopping trips are motivated by commercials. Commercials waste my time, waste people's money, and insult my intelligence. I'm SMARTER than commercials-don't advertisers know that? You can't fool me into buying your shiz!

I'm OVER my clumsiness. I spill, fall, mis-speak, trip, walk into people etc. all the time. It's really uncool. And for a person who prides herself on coolness, my clumsiness is really cramping my style. Luckily, my friends accept me for the dorky person that I am, but what about total strangers? I mean, on first meeting me they might actually think I'm pretty rad. I have cute little hair and earrings and I smile a lot. But then, when I go and fall on top of them, or spill my drink in their lap, they know the truth. I'm a clutz with a tendency towards informality. My clumsiness is ruining my reputation.

I'm OVER people calling JNF and being rude to me. I don't make our materials myself or choose the tree prices. I don't delay their orders and make people step away from their desks and miss their phone calls. JUST CALL BACK.

I could probably make this longer but as it turns out I'm OVER this entry too.